Okay, I was reading the comments left on the latest SN update, and got to thinking: how do eras of music reflect the way they wanted kids to feel? And so, I present my poorly researched and highly opinionated overview! Wai!
Early 80’s Bubblegum Pop: Fashion and hairstyles are wai. You should be happy, unless you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend in which case you can be unhappy for a brief amount of time. Life is a party and money is good.
Late 80’s ‘Happy’ Metal: Spandex and big hair and makeup are good ways for boys to rebel against their parents. We want parties and drinking and drugs and loose women in tight clothing. Being a rock star is the best job you could possibly ever have. Be happy because you are prosperous, unless you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend in which case you can be unhappy for a brief amount of time.
Late 80’s Boyband Pop: Purchase more copies of Nonthreatening Boys Monthly and feel the vaguely not quite there but always teasing to be there sexuality of these five packaged individuals. Feeling romantic wistful tidings towards your favorite boy is highly encouraged and a good thing. You should be happy when in the presence of your band. Romance is 75% of life. The other 25% is breaking up, which must be done with a slow BPM.
Early 90’s Grunge Music: Screw those pop stars; it is now okay to be unhappy. In fact, you SHOULD be unhappy because your suburban existence sucks ass and you can’t get a girl. Rock stars are ordinary teens like you and they hate the lifestyle. All lyrics have deep and moving meanings and if you can’t find them there is something wrong with you. Success can be had overnight as long as you practice in your garage. It’s not okay to be happy unless you’re completely whacked out on drugs, in which case it’s an ironically depressing kind of happy.
Early 90’s Pop Music: We’re all in our 30’s, 40’s and 50’s but please continue to buy our albums off the nostalgia you have for the time when we were still doing relatively innovative things back in the 80’s. Maybe if we add another guitar player and screw up his amp the kids will come back?
Middle 90’s Techno Music: Alright! After years of success in Europe, we finally made it to the states, and…. hey, where’s everybody going? Come on, we just got here! You Merkins are so fickle.
Late 90’s RIAA Pop Music: Having fun and being young is all there is in life. Worship us and buy our posters and visit our website. For girls: Feel the vaguely not quite there but always teasing to be there sexuality of these five packaged individuals. Feeling romantic wistful tidings towards your favorite boy is highly encouraged and a good thing. For boys: You want to pork that skank so hard you can taste it, and she’ll be sure to walk around in small costumes to encourage that. … Our videos are works of art on par with Citizen Kane and cost as much as the Phantom Menace to produce, so you’d better call into TRL and say ‘I voted for insert name of band because they are SOOOOO HOT WOOOOOO!!’ and wave your arms until your 15 seconds of fame are up. You should be happy when in the presence of your band. Romance is 65% of life. The other 35% is breaking up (increased due to unfortunately widespread realism).
Late 90’s/Early 00’s Return of the Rock: Those idiot pop stars are still on the air, but screw them; not only is it okay to be unhappy, it’s okay to be completely pissed off. You should feel very angry about the world and about your life and about the bitch who broke up with you, because you ‘just don’t give a fork’ and nobody understands your generation. In fact, nobody ever falls in love, they just break up, despite the logic that one has to preceed the other. We’ve decided to mix the glamorous fictional lifestyle of the rap star into our thing now, so being a rock star is the best thing in the world but we’ll still sing about how much it sucks to be famous.
The Next Big Thing Mid 00’s: Everybody, POLKA! Oompah oompah oompah oompah…