I believe I have discovered a small but fatal flaw in my muse. He’s not consistently imaginative but he’s still a pushy little bastard. This leads to all sorts of problems for me.
Picture: Twoflower sitting in front of his computer. A multi-hour stretch of unplanned leisure time is ahead of him. His muse pops up, all hyperactive from coffee and sugar and eager to get stuff done.
“Make something cool!” the muse demands. “C’mon! You have time, be productive! Do lots of cool stuff people will like!”
“Like what?” I ask.
And the muse just sorta coughs and studies the wall. That’s because although I feel these near uncontrollable impulses to Make Something Cool, nine times out of ten I can’t think of anything cool to make. I’m sure plenty of artists have the same problem; that burning desire to CREATE, but no actual inspiration and no ideas to create from.
So, you end up sitting there feeling awful that you’re not making cool stuff and you’re not being productive… hey, isn’t this similar to a rant I did in the past? Yeap, it is.
I need to learn how to relax.
I understand this is a common problem in my family; my dad has a hard time voluntarily giving up time that could be used doing something productive in order to just sit there and do something fun. He’s gotten a lot better about it, though; I still think he’s gonna go bonkers when he retires from lack of stuff to do. I’d likely do the same.
So, this weekend, I have made myself a decree: I shall do nothing of any productive value whatsoever! I will sit on my ass, I will watch television, I will RP on MU*, I will play games, I will level up my HUnewarl. I will force myself to ignore the muse and just let go, just do things that waste time in an entertaining way and not feel bad about wasting that time. Because relaxing is not a waste, no matter how much my instincts scream out for me to make something cool.
Is that a longhand way of saying ‘No SN6 this weekend’? I guess. ^_^; But trust me, the outline’s going nowhere and rather than throttle my muse for not providing me with useful ideas, I’ll just shelve it until inspiration strikes. It always does eventually.
For some reason, it happens most often on the toilet. (“How do I get Aki to acceptably come to her realization? How do I… nngh! *PLOP* Hey, I know, I’ll introduce a babysitter!”) Really! True story. Neko-chan, please put down the mallet. ^_^;