It seems that most people I know are either Broke, Jobless, Unhappy, Homeless (or living in a filthy hovel or living on charity),On a 56k Modem, or some combination of the above. This makes me feel rather guilty for being financially safe, stably employed, content, well housed and moving at cable modem speeds.
Very often I’ll be chatting with a friend and they’ll be mentioning how their life is about to collapse around them due to the above conditions. What am I supposed to say? How can I possibly relate and be of any comfort to them when at my worst point in life the best I can manage is being Unhappy and moving at 56k Modem speeds? Sure, as a kid I was Broke but that’s because I spent my inflated allowance, not because my family was struggling to buy groceries.
Sometimes I feel like one of those annoying sweater vest wearing guys named Chad who goes to fitness clubs and has CHAD-2 printed on his Ferarri’s custom plates with CHAD-1 being the BMW. (For the record, I drive a brown minivan.) Nobody likes Chad when they’re not living Chad’s life. Chad is an asshole. Sure, Chad may be a nice guy with a sparkling wit and personality, but when you’re eating toothpaste sandwiches and working as a jizz mopper at 3am you do not want to hear about Chad’s complaints over his yacht having mildew on the sails and getting stiffed on that 5,000 wine eBay auction.
In short: I hate feeling like Chad when people I care about are suffering from a complete lack of Chadian living.
Of course, keep in mind that these are cascading failures. Getting one state means the rest can easily fall in line; the more states, the harder it is to claw your way back. If I was to become Jobless tomorrow, while my parents would house me and such rather than boot me on the streets, I’d likely be damn near Broke after awhile and certainly be Unhappy and likely lose my cable modem. Staying in a Chadian state is not easy; obtaining it is not easy, either. This is why I took a fairly unimpressive and occasionally fuggin’ stupid government job. It sucks, but it’s stable, and it keeps me in the Chad. If I had taken a dotcom job two years ago during the boom I would be B/J/U/5 at the minimum right now.
So, what’re your choice states of despair? B/J/U/H/5? Or are you more or less Chad in nature? Post reply, wallow in misery and inspire guilt in those who are sittin’ pretty.
Just to be hypocritical, let me point out my Tipping Jar where you can drop a few dollars on me in appreciation for my freely available writing. I just bought some sound editing programs and graphics tools to help with this stuff, so the money will go to something other than my yacht.
On a side note, the ‘Understanding Comics’ guy has a nice essay on micropayments up, which reveals that if popular PvP cartoonist Scott Kurtz got just 25 cents a month from each reader he’d be pulling in 73,000 dollars annually after expenses. Chew on that for awhile.