Office christmas party was at Dave & Busters. I have no idea why — the mean age of folks in my office is 40-50, and D&B is a restaurant + arcade filled with racing games and shooting games and skiing games and such. If one of these guys tried the jetski simulator they’d break a hip…
But I, on the other hand, had a ball. True, I can’t play any ride-based game because I’m a mutant and they’re made for Normal People, but D&B has one thing which ignites my passion like the fires of a thousand suns… SKEEBALL. Three years ago I spent a lot of my summer at the mall racking up Skeeball tickets, and eventually ended up with 2,719 tickets total. Today, I was determined to live up to that standard as close as humanly possible.
Two full hours later, 56 skeeball games (9 balls a game, so 504 throws) and I have 793 tickets, which bought me a nice kinetic sculpture. (D&B doesn’t have rubber spiders, they got the good shirt available for adult patrons.) My high score was 290 points, which nobody playing while I was there could beat or even tie, and I broke the bank on two machines, draining them completely of tickets until I had to call over a techie guy.
But, now everything on my body hurts. I’ve passed through the concept of pain and come out the other side. My throwing arm is kaput. My feet feel like a mack truck ran them over. The arm I leaned on to grab balls is writing to the UN to protest under the War Crimes Treaty. Yet, I am victorious in my skeeball campaign. We shall crush a flagon of mead and drink of the blood of our enemies during feast tonight.
Tonight it’s rest on the couch and Smackdown with friends. Tomorrow I get part of my toe lobbed off with knives.