Since I’m finding it hard to make myself sit down at home and write some UE03 when easier avenues of fun are available… I am attempting an experiment. I shall spontaneously, while on the day job, write some UE. It may not be the best, but it’ll be SOMETHING, and I can always finetune it later. I welcome all comments, even the simple ‘R0XX0RZ!!1!!!’ sort.
What’s more, I think I’ll write it right here, In This Very LiveJournal…
So, you have decided to enter the rewarding career of Reality Engineering!
Reality Engineers are in demand in today’s reality-based economy. While various realities have various industries, specializations, and cultural standards, they have one common need — trained, professional reality engineers working to find efficent reality solutions to their reality issues. A Reality Engineer’s intense Reality Engineering Certification training garuntees realistically real results for reality issues pertaining to reality…
If it was possible for mild mannered Mallory Heisenberg to become intensely annoyed, he would have become intensely annoyed at the unnessecary(sp; I never get this word right dammit), overdone redundant repetition of the word reality in such a way as to go overboard without a paddle.
And that was just the first paragraph. It went on and on like this for a few screens of the Introduction to the Reality Engineering Certification Preparatory Material, Copyright RealWare, Incorporated. Sitting on the couch in the living room, Mallory flicked the jog dial on the side of the data pad a few times, trying to find a page without the word ‘reality’, and failed miserably.
Still, the advertising had soaked into his brain; it made him feel excited, anxious, on edge, ready to face the challenges of a brave new tomorrow with nothing but his… his.. whatever it was Reality Engineers used as their primary, culturally-identifying tool. Which was probably not a steel toed boot used for kicking engines until they worked properly. True, he did thumb his way past most of the fluff material in the introduction, but it was only to get at the meat of the lessons much faster in a bold demonstration of his enthusiasm!
Lesson 1: Reality Engine Basics
Basics. You can’t go wrong with the basics, his farming tutors had tutored into him from an early age…
The phase shift harmonics generated by the distilled water core of the engine, when tuned using an advanced reality sequencing system operating on RealWare proprietary code, induce a field of reality definition upon launch of a fresh engine. This field is supported in longevity using power feed and dispersal units which assure the flux metric stays within six standard devations from acceptable norms as established in Core Directive 34.0134. But odds are you knew that already…
…it read, while the glaze settled over Mallory’s eyes like so many freshly baked, honey dipped doughnuts.
A few flicks of the thumb verified his second worst fears, as it continued on and on like this, complete with incomprehensible diagrams and flow charts using words that had more syllables(sp) than nature should allow.
Mallory’s eyes gratefully peeled away from the textual nightmare, sliding instead on the welcome vision of Meiko Mirai.
“House meeting,” Meiko explained, nodding towards the kitchen table in the other room. “C’mon. You’ll have plenty of time to study for the REC later.”
…hmm, I wanted to do the house meeting too, but I’m not sure what the next line would be. If I think of more I’ll post in comments on this thread. This is an interesting way for me to write; it’s very immediate, and that’s how I do my best writing, by just sitting down with a GENERAL idea of what needs to happen (‘Mal looks over the complex REC stuff before Meiko calls meeting’) and making it HAPPEN.