Making this friends only, because… eh. The general public doesn’t need to see me mope.
Probably the #2 frustration in my life right now is my disability. (#1 is my lack of time, but I’ve whined enough about that.)
I’ve been raised to believe that disability is not a big deal. I can cope. I’ve got tools to take care of things, accommodations can be made, and anything I want to do can be done with enough clever thinking and good engineering. As a result I rarely, if ever, really THINK about my disability. It just doesn’t enter into my brain — no big deal, it’s just this thing, like wearing glasses.
Then a potential job offer floats along and I discover that I’m too damn disabled to take it.
I can’t leave home. I can’t provide for myself in several critical areas. I can’t live outside of a sphere of family assistance. I can’t take less money than I’m making now because of health care concerns. I can’t stray too far from doctors who would need to be nearby in case of emergency. I can’t take a job that’s not loaded with years and years of job security because I can’t afford to be without health care or money…
Suddenly instead of being some guy who happens to have a cartoon of a wheelchair on his lisence plate I’m damn near a pathetic cripple, confined not in bed but in house, unable to make any major changes to my life without unplugging the resperator.
I mention this because yet another job offer floated my way and unless they can make some serious changes to the job itself, it’s also not going to happen. (Once again, names withheld to keep things smooth. I don’t intend to ruffle any industry feathers.) Thankfully someone’s going to bat for me on getting this adapted, which I’m thankful for… but let’s be realistic, it’s just as unlikely as the last one. The only game company I could work for without leaving the iron lung is Bethesda Softworks. I’m actually hesitant to apply there, since if I DO get turned down, it’s basically the end of the pipe dream of working in the game industry.
I have my fingers crossed, but I’m too much of a realist to expect anything to happen. I’ll probably be stuck in this dry, irritating government job for a long time — at least, until they move the office to White Oak like they’ve been threatening to and I end up unemployed because I can’t leave this spot.
If I could wave a magic wand and make all my orthopedic problems go away so I could literally pack a suitcase and hop on a bus and go chase my dreams, dammit, I WOULD.
Totally Unrelated Happy Side Note: I actually managed to make reasonable copies of Naru and Kaolla in SYM. Go figure