Okay, bear with me here:
The break happens right after Gilbert dreams up his crazy plan. I did add an extra scene to the end of lf05, which you’ll want to read. After that, carry on to lf06, which includes several new scenes in which we attend a fancy dinner party in an effort to destroy the evil empire.
I mentioned on my Twitter that I wasn’t sure I’d made the case for the British Empire being evil and needing to be taken down. Twitterfolk helpfully pointed out A) enslaved angel, B) killing kids to make calculators, and C) generally oppressive jackasses.
All valid points. I guess my worry was I didn’t make them obviously horrible enough, since I was also trying to show that the general population either doesn’t MIND a little economic divide and oppression as long as they’re not being actively crushed into paste. Britain’s evil exists at a high level, and only generalized societal problems get noticed at the lower rungs of the ladder, not enough to instigate more than a few weak rebel movements and general noncompliance with the law (trading contraband for fun). I suppose that makes it a realistic example of an evil empire, since it can persist and thrive, despite its evil.
In this chapter, we explore that from the top, where we see the viewpoints of those who actually DO pour milk over a bowl of kittens for breakfast. It’s not pretty, but even these guys are just trying to make money and don’t care who suffers, which is petty and nasty but not comic book supervillainy. And that’s working for me.
Hopefully the new character introduced here isn’t too shoehorned. I worked hard, writing and rewriting him. He’ll be playing a bigger role later. And since lf06 doesn’t have a ‘cold opening intro scene’, I might put him there… preparing for the party, introducing his character a little, as a tease for things to come. …yeah. That’s the way to go. Look for that Sunday.
EDIT: Actually, you know what? This is too important to leave until Sunday. I’ve added it just now. So if you read the draft in the first hour after I posted it, reload and check it out.
Meanwhile… there is what we have here. Read, enjoy, and I’d love to hear your reactions.