SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
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                            PRESENTS...

                         Slayers Chaos :
                            Episode 6

            ...in which breakfast is served, we go once
            more into the breach of fear and loathing, a
          chimera goes postal and Xelloss tells a secret.

       A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
     obviously.  If I ever even considered claiming that these
     were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
     cell where I'd be forced to eat my own MREs to live.)

         --> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
             --> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--

-=-

    Myth and legend speak of Juu Cenquio, the Ancient City of Springs.
Here, in the dawn of the world when days were young and hours were newborn,
a solitary trickle of water arose from the earth -- an oasis in the middle
of a volcanic wasteland.  The few animals that had adapted to live in the
area, great beasts and monsters, came to the spring out of a natural need
for moisture, and drank... upon drinking, they changed into new forms.  For
this was the magic water which could turn any beast into a human form --
and any human that drank the water could take on the form of a powerful
beast.
    When these man-beasts started to roam the countryside, assaulting
normal humans, the local monarch had a large complex erected over the site,
filled with deadly traps and hazardous monsters, all with the purpose of
keeping such powers out of the hands of those who might abuse them.
    In fact, Zelgadis had escaped certain death no less than fifty six
times today.  He was getting used to the 'whoosh' that a swinging
scytheblade made when it snapped out of the wall, and had discovered just
the right combination of spells to annihilate the minotaurs.  He mapped the
maze, a process that took a few hours, and after much hardship had finally
found the spring of Juu Cenquio.
    A nearby sign read 'Juu Cenquio Bottled Water -- Onlye Five Goldde Per
Bottle!!  All Naturale Mineral Watter!', and had a small collection tray
nearby.  The fountain had dried up, but someone had bottled up what was
left of the water; discarded empties were nearby, each in the hands of a
headless explorer.  Only one bottle remained.
    Zelgadis took his time.  He controlled his excitement, notably; a
cure!  A cure for his Chimera body, that could bring him back to
normality!  But be cautious.  Be smart.  Don't let emotion overrun your
sensibility.
    He followed the nearly invisible tripwire from the collection dish up
to the ceiling, where he saw a hidden blade.  So, if you didn't bother
leaving enough weight to match five gold on the tray, the trap would act
like the ultimate collection agency when you went for the water.
Impatience and greed were the downfall of these explorers.
    Zelgadis opened his change purse, and counted his coins.
    Four gold, two silvers and a copper.
    He recounted.
    Same amount.  Confused, since he could have sworn there were ten gold
in there when he last checked, he peered into the bottom of the bag... and
through a hole in the pouch, where the coins must have fallen out.
    He bit back a sense of frustration.  Be cool.  This can be worked out.
    First, he patched the bag.  Second, he took some sand from nearby,
filling the bag until he was certain the whole package would weigh the same
as five coins... he approached the payment dish, examining the mechanism...
taking some sand from the bag, adding a bit more in... and placed the bag
carefully on the tray.
    He didn't lose his head, which was a good sign.  He picked up the glass
flask of crystal-clear water.  And still, he didn't die.
    He had done it!
    The cure!  He had obtained the cure, and beaten all the forces that
tried to stop him!  Now, Zelgadis allowed himself a nice, large smile he
usually reserved for heavy irony or punishment of an enemy.  He uncorked
the flask, took a deep breath--
    And sneezed, when a passing bit of abrasive dust happened to be sucked
up a nostril.  It was heavy, quick body shaking sneeze, totally unexpected,
and was followed by the sound of shattering glass.
    He had dropped the flask.
    His cure was gone, seeping into the dry dust, as if sucked up by a
sponge.  Without hesitation, he shoved some of the mud into his mouth and
chewed, but nothing happened.  The last of the waters of Juu Cenquio was
gone for good.

                                   [-*-]

    "See?  I TOLD you it was a stupid idea," the Mazoku Lord of Lousy Days
said, smug and content, as his Dragon companion sulked.  "Give little miss
justice a magic pen and you expect that to win you Lina Inverse?  Dragons!
Always thinkin' with their egos instead of their ids, or somethin'.  Why,
if I had a copper for--"
    "So what if I lost my pawn?" Angela said, trying to dismiss the
problem, not to appear a failure before this disgusting creature.  "I can
obtain a new one.  That is not the worrying part.  Lina was ASSISTED,
Mazoku.  Someone using the same white magic as me was there, and managed to
deflect my finishing blow."
    "Big deal," Bugger said.  "You're the one who got scared off by a
reversed lighting spell."
    "I told you, I didn't know it was one at the time!  Have you ever seen
a Giga Slave?" Angela asked.  "Me either.  I take no stupid chances.  Only
when I was a hundred miles away did I realize what I was sensing."
    "Either way, it's a bloody poor performance, it was," Bugger said.  He
pulled a chewed cigarette from the black hole behind his ear, and lit it
with his thumb.  "Now, if you'll turn yer attention to the mystic ruins on
my right, you'll see a master in action."
    Angela glanced at the crumbling city.  "Yes, what?"
    "Okay.  See that blue sod moping his way out of the main gate?" Bugger
said, gesturing.
    "It's a chimera.  So?"
    "A chimera?  That would be Zelgadis Greyweirs, close personal friend of
Lina Inverse," Bugger said.  "Self proclaimed man of logic and reason.
Nothing gets to him except, of course, the stuff that gets to him.  And you
knows I'm the expert of what gets to folks.  Just this morning I planted
the dirt of failure in that city, so that he would lose the thing he most
wants.  The poor bastard's feeling like his only chance went out the
window."
    "The water and the myth are just the fabrications of a mad dictator,
hundreds of years gone," Angela said.  "He simply wanted a massive public
works project he could embezzle money in."
    "Zelgadis don't know that," Bugger said.  "This is just the starting
point.  That angsthead's gonna be MY pawn.  You see, Mazoku gots a few
tools for corrupting and twisting humans you Dragon wimps don't got the
guts to use.  We employ the Slow Poison, which I happen to be an expert at
mixin' up.  Acid of the spirit, funhouse mirror for the soul.  Paranoia and
anger and all those lovely yummy emotions."
    "Filthy methods," Angela frowned.
    "Oh, and your fancy stars and bubbles and glory are all that and a bag
of chips?" Bugger mocked.  "We'll see how much you complain when we've got
Lina bagged 'n tagged.  And what's more, I gots a man inside on this
venture.  You'll see.  This is all gonna work out great.  If we're lucky,
nobody'll survive, either.  NOBODY."
    "I think I'll depart, then," Angela said.  "I don't care for your zeal
for destruction.  I'll return after you fail."
    The Dragon opened her wings and flew off, gracefully.
    Bugger hated those wings.  They were nothing but showing off, plain and
simple.  Angela just had to be glamorous, even when making an exit.  Maybe
when this whole affair was done, he'd see to it that the Dragon had a lousy
century.  It would be a bloody marvelous way to pass the time until the
next great war.

                                   [-*-]

    Despite having two of the most powerful human-like beings that are as
old as time in residence, in addition to a psychotic girl in a sailor suit
chained up in the living room, the Gabriev homestead was chugging along as
if nothing was unusual.
    "More coffee?" Mrs. Gabriev prompted.
    Lina took the coffee with a nod of thanks, and turned back to the
problem at hand.
    "Mpmhphm!  Mphmphpmhmph!!" Amelia ranted, through the gag.
    "I don't get it," Lina said.  "Ultra Restoration isn't working.  How
could an enchantment like this be pure white magic?"
    Gourry looked up from the sports section in the newspaper.  "Huh?"
    "Ultra Restoration destroys all darkness," Lina explained.  "But
whatever's turned Amelia into the rampaging spirit of justice is pure
white.  I can't remove it.
    Trying hard to understand, Gourry made an attempt at helping.  "Okay,
so... if white won't work because it's white, what about black?  Would that
work?"
    "I don't know any black magic healing spells," Lina said.  "I don't
think there are any.  That'd be like, 'Okay, we'll heal your wounds if you
don't mind us pouring lemon juice directly into your eyes' or something."
    "Lemon juice can remove stains from carpets," Gourry helpfully noted.
    "Aside from frothing at the mouth, she isn't making a mess," Lina said.
    Someone from the stairwell cleared her throat.
    "I think I might be able to help," Aunt Koirry said, heading downstairs
in her pink bathrobe.  Despite being a wingless in disguise and the
personification of Love, she looked just as bad as anybody would shortly
after waking up; no glamour at all.
    When the group had returned home, to find Myth and Aunt Koirry talking,
Koirry casually mentioned that she was also Love of the wingless.  After
Gourry helped Lina off the floor, Love went on to explain how she had been
enjoying her time with the Gabriev clan, apparently the first family she
really felt comfortable around.  But now that she was needed, Aunt Koirry
would have to take a vacation so Love could come out of hiding.
    Surprisingly, Gourry had very little shock over this.  Since Aunt
Koirry was adopted, it was just a matter of a nice warm hug and a promise
to always be his auntie, and Gourry was sold on the concept of a wingless
in the family -- as was Mr. and Mrs. Gabriev, although they had to explain
it to Mr. Gabriev very slowly and with small words and he had been mumbling
all morning.
    Personally, if someone in Lina's family -- not that she ever saw more
than two of them in any place at any time -- had turned out to be a
mystical being from beyond history, she would have freaked out.  How
Gourry's family accepted this casually enough, much less how unconcerned
they were with having a mental patient on their couch, confused the hell
out of Lina.
    Lina examined Amelia, looking at her glowing silvery eyes.
    "You know of a way to bust through a white magic curse?" Lina said.
    Love stepped over to the couch, bending over to study Amelia...
pausing, possibly doing something Talentable, but Lina couldn't tell.
    "She's not cursed," Love explained.  "She simply... is not seeing
things the way they are.  It's a common trick, more often employed -- and
more successfully achieved -- by Mazoku.  Humans are just a tool to be
controlled to them, not creatures of free will and chaos, which is less
useful and less predictable...  I think Love can break through the gauze
around her perception.  It worked once before when I encountered this
problem."
    "Oh, I get it," Lina said.  "A Talent.  Okay!  Let's get cracking!"
    Love pulled over an overstuffed footrest, and sat on it, facing
Amelia.  "It's not that easy.  I haven't used my Talents in... I really
can't recall, but it's been a long time."
    "Why not?" Lina asked.  "You'd think that the spirit of Love would be
shooting off cupid's arrow's left and right--"
    "No," Love said.  "Some of the wingless throw around Talents like
they're going out of style... Luck, notably.  She's pretty wild about it,
but using Love using Talents on people... Love has to be natural or it's
not real.  I learned that the hard way... I haven't used any of my Talents
on the Gabrievs.  I just talk to people, and that gets the job done, if it
was meant to be done.  But I can't talk Amelia down from this.  It's going
to take awhile to get the Talent going again... why don't you two have a
nice breakfast and relax?  Oh, and if you could do me a favor... check on
Myth.  She's looking for your next quarry, but is having some trouble with
it.  I'll need to concentrate here..."
    "Next quarry?  Who?" Lina asked.
    But Love was already busy looking through Amelia's eyes, both of them
growing very still.  Lina waited for some kind of result, sitting there for
several minutes.  No sparks were shooting back and forth or other obvious
signs of power unleashed; it was about as exciting as watching paint dry.
    "Boy, Aunt Koirry knows a bunch of stuff," Gourry understated, to break
the silence.
    "She's not just your auntie, you know," Lina reminded.
    "I know, but she's still Aunt Koirry," Gourry proved reflexively.
"Does this mean we're back to questing?"
    "Depends on what Myth's up to, I guess," Lina said.  She glanced over
at Amelia.  "Call me if anything happens, okay?  I'll be upstairs."

                                   [-*-]

    If the bastard would just GIVE the weedpuller back, there would be no
need for this, Lawrence thought, sharpening up his razor--
    Myth looked at that last word she had written down in distaste.  This
wasn't the sort of story she liked to write.  Fortunately, she didn't have
to finish the tale; she simply moved on, probing around Lawrence's
narrative, looking for a similar plot thread...
    A knock at the door disrupted her conversation.
    "Come in," she said, setting her spare book aside for now.
    Lina walked in.  "Hi.  Er... Love wanted me to check on you.  Any
luck?"
    "Yes.  No," Myth said.  "Yes.  I'm not sure.  This isn't what I usually
do when fishing around for a good story, you know..."
    "Actually, I don't.  What in blazes are you doing?" Lina asked.
"Love's been calling the shots all morning, without bothering to inform me
of what's going on..."
    "I'm looking for her brother," Myth said.  "They're twins, but you
wouldn't know it by looking at them.  Love and Loathing.  She thinks we
could find him if I can find a bunch of stories of anger and violence, all
clumped together in one region.  That could be him using his Talents.  He
likes to use them as often as he can.  I remember that much about him, from
the early days."
    "Loathing, huh," Lina said, pulling up a chair to chat with Myth.
"Doesn't sound like a happy camper.  Is this guy going to give us as many
headaches as Drama did?"
    "More, probably," Myth sighed.  "Loathing is... okay.  Let's put it
this way : he's himself.  He doesn't really have any friends because he
hates everybody, and he doesn't live anywhere because he hates everything,
and he is not going to want to come quietly because he hates the Lord of
Nightmares above all, if that was possible.  You can guarantee he'll do
anything he can to stop you -- and he may be generally blunt, but he can be
pretty devious when he's determined.  I don't know much more about what
he's become than that."
    "I still don't get how you guys work, or how you do what you do," Lina
said.  "What do you mean, 'what he's become'?"
    "We don't know very much either," Myth admitted.  "The wingless aren't
a very organized group and we don't know all the secrets of the universe.
We're only human.  After all this time... we've adapted, as human ideas
about our names shifted and we tried to blend in.  A good example...
ummm... okay.  Paradox.  He used to primarily be the spirit of when space
and time go wrong.  But then he realized that meant he had some control
over it, and he liked control, so now he actually works to keep paradoxes
from happening...  so there's a chance that Loathing has changed from his
original form too.  And I can safely say that Nightmare has changed.  I
didn't recognize him that time.. we met him.  You know."
    Lina chewed on that for awhile, before swallowing.
    "You know?" she mused.  "I think I like that you guys are pretty out
there.  Humanity came from you people, and we're not exactly the most
efficient species created either.  It makes sense if the wingless don't
make sense.  If that makes sense."
    "I don't like it," Myth said.  "At least in the world we inhabited
before the Fall, we were safe.  From each other and from everything else.
Now, though... um.  Miss Lina?"
    Strange way of putting her name, Lina thought.  She looked seriously at
Myth.  "Yeah?"
    "If you could... I'd like to... would you think it cowardly of me not
to want to accompany you when you go get Loathing?" Myth asked, blurting
the last part out in a rush.  "I just--"
    "No, it's okay," Lina said.  "You want to ride in a jar or stay with
the Gabrievs?"
    Myth paused.  "It's okay?"
    "Sure.  Why don't you want to go?" Lina asked.
    Myth seemed reluctant to say why, in the same way small rabbits are
reluctant to taunt ravenous wolves.
    "What, you don't trust us to succeed?" Lina guessed, curious.
    "No no, I'm sure you will... just..."
    "You're afraid you'll get in our way?"
    "Yes that's it exactly," Myth said.
    "Must not be it, if you agreed that quickly," Lina said.  She put two
and two together quietly, and nodded in recognition.  "Okay.  You probably
should stay with the Gabrievs.  Less chance of the jar breaking in my pack
that way."
    "Good point," Myth agreed.
    That confirmed it for Lina.  Myth was afraid of being killed.
    "Let us know when you've found Loathing," Lina said, smiling with
reassurance.  "And don't worry.  We'll be back before you can finish
reciting all of 'The Adventures of Jean the Clever' backwards."
    "It's four hundred pages in the standard edition," Myth noted,
confused.  "Doesn't that mean it'll take you a long time?"
    "What, you were expecting me to say something really short in some
attempt to belittle the task?  Get real, we're going after some psychotic
bastard from the origins of man, not hopping down the street for a
doughnut," Lina said.  "Give it a week or so, then we'll have him."
    Lina started to leave, after flashing Myth a warm smile.
    "That was my best work, you know," Myth said quietly.
    Pause.  "Eh?" Lina asked.
    "Jean the Clever," Myth said.  "It had been in a rut writing about
these stocky men who slayed beasts for a hundred years, then I met a young
girl with crazy aspirations... and I followed her around.  Quietly.  Now
people say it was the first story that encouraged women to be just as
heroic and brave as men, and it's really important to society.  Although I
did have to make up a lot of what happened, I mean... it was a good story,
right?  I did a good job making it realistic without being boring?  And it
wasn't too long, right?"
    "Best story I ever read," Lina said, a bit shocked at this confession.
    "Oh, good," Myth said, smiling a little.  "I know I haven't done
anything like it in awhile, but... hey, you think this story will do just
as good as Jean's?"
    "Uh, maybe," Lina said.  She shuffled out of the room quickly.

                                   [-*-]

    Events of that day went by rapidly.
    First, Love announced that the healing of Amelia's condition was
complete.
    "I just had to open her up to the love she feels for you guys," Love
explained.  "That needed Talent.  I think I purged the anger and distortion
she had, but she's exhausted from the effort.  Probably will be sleeping
for another six hours before she can recover."
    So, the question remained : What do do with her saccharine highness
now?  Gourry wanted Amelia to come with them, because he figured another
person on the quest would always help, but Lina pointed out that they were
potentially wandering into a very nasty place.  The last thing they needed
was Sailor Justice (she still kept her pen's powers) deciding to clean up
the town and scaring Loathing off.  Plus, Dayvid is probably missing her,
she needs to be back with her family, we don't have enough rations blah
blah blah.
    The group took a quick trip across the world via Myth's Sub Way Token,
and Myth flagged down some passing Sailoon soldiers who were patrolling the
area after the Bigtop Bigtop Bandit Slaughter Incident, writing them as
heroes who found the missing princess and received many commendations and
honors in thanks.  They left Amelia by the roadside for convenient pickup
and hightailed it back to Testabourne.
    Next on the agenda was assembling the raiding party.  Myth had found a
city where apparently most of the neighbors despised each other and the
local lord despised his people and the waitresses despised their clients
and the dogs despised the cats and so on.  Of course, there were also two
other cities which were similar, but this was strongest, so it was more
likely to be the right place.
    Love was a bit dismayed to see that Myth wasn't coming, but decided not
to push her on the issue, taking the Sub Way Token and promising to be back
soon.
    Once they had safely arrived at the Kiyamba Sub Way Station, Lina
decided to push Love on the issue.
    "Do you know why Myth's scared?" Lina asked.  "I know she likes to
avoid trouble, but she's missing out on her big story here."
    "Mmmm... maybe I should let her explain," Love said.  "It's really none
of my business..."
    "I don't think she's going to chat about it, whatever it is.  Is it
really all that bad?"
    "It's not pleasant," Love admitted.  "You know how Nightmare caused the
Fall, right?"
    "He tried to kill one of you guys, and the Lord of Nightmares booted
you out for disobedience," Lina said.
    "Actually, I think She intended to do that from the beginning, once we
had learned enough to question Her laws," Love said.  "But that's besides
the point.  Nightmare tried to kill Myth.  She was the first one of us to
realize that we COULD end."
    "Oh, I get it!" Gourry said.  "Ne, Auntie.  It's like Neil Postman from
down the street, right?"
    "Exactly," Love said.
    Lina waited for an explanation, but didn't get any.  "Okay, I'll bite.
Who's Neil Postman?"
    "He was this really loudmouthed guy who wasn't afraid of anything,"
Gourry said.  "Then one day he challenged one of my friends to a duel, even
though we weren't supposed to fight for real.  He got cut really badly and
almost died.  Ever since then he got really scared of swords and fighting,
and stayed away from that stuff because he thought he could die.  Aunt
Koirry told me it was because he... realized his own morality."
    "Mortality," Aunt Koirry corrected.  "Do you still have the Increasing
Your Word Power book I gave you, dear?"
    "Dad ate it," Gourry admitted, embarrassed.
    "Anyway, that's the story," Love said.  "More or less.  I shouldn't say
anymore."
    "Gotcha," Lina nodded.  "Okay.  Let's head out into the world and find
us a wingless!"

                                   [-*-]

    The area was no longer named Kiyamba; one of the many mysteriously
named nations that fell off the face of the world inbetween the era of the
Sub Ways and the present day.
    Instead, the town Lina arrived in was named Pleasantville.
    The sky was blue; the grass was green.  Tall trees, well cared for and
each bearing fruit, flowers or proud evergreen leaves, lined the streets.
Row after row of houses, all white and clean, occupied the residential
district they entered from the Sub Way gate.  Small children laughed and
played in the street; someone nearby was doing some gardening.  Each house
had a mailbox with a little red flag, a brick chimney and a welcome mat.
Total strangers waved to them politely and exchanged a few words of
smalltalk, usually with Gourry.  It was the kind of town you'd usually see
with nice, slow camera angles and background music that went 'doo doo doo
dee da dee da doo da dee da dee da doo'.
    "Something's wrong," Lina said.
    "I don't know, I think it's a pretty nice town," Gourry said.  "Seems
like a good place to raise a family."
    "It makes perfect sense," Love said, studying the children at play,
kicking a ball around the road, without a care in the world.  "This is just
the sort of place where Loathing would be hiding."
    "What makes you say that?" Lina said.
    Nearby, one of the children kicked the ball into the other team's goal,
and did a victory war whoop.
    "You jerk, you tripped me!" another accused, grabbing at his ankle.
    "You're just a sore loser, you fat doofus."
    "Says who?!  You asshole!"
    "MOTHER@$!@%!%!!"
    "You goddamn son of a bitch!! I'll kick your ass, you sorry little
momma's boy!!" the first kid yelled, before jumping the other one, fists
flying.  "DIE!  DIE!  DIE!"
    Lina stared in dumb silence.
    "A place like this is like an untouched gourmet banquet to my brother,"
Love explained.  "What fun would a place be that was already corrupted?
He's definitely here, and playing."
    "Can you tell where he is, exactly?" Lina asked, looking away from the
melee on the road.
    "No," Love said.  "I'm afraid I'm actually not going to be very useful
to you on this quest, Lina.  I can explain how his mind works, but I have
no useful powers, no magic, and no sword.  I suggest you try to find the
place where he can do the most damage, though.  That's where he'll be
hiding, and directing everything from."
    "In that case...." Lina said, putting some serious thought into the
task.  She glanced around.  She checked the sky.  And after much
consideration, she came to a decision.  "We'll go to the nearest
restaurant."
    "You think he might be making the waiters angry over small tips?"
Gourry guessed.
    Lina shook her head.  "No, but I'm hungry, and I think better on a full
stomach."

                                   [-*-]

    Not too far away, someone else was cursing.
    Zelgadis frustratedly patted out the fires in his clothing.  How could
he have set his tunic ablaze from a simple cooking fire?!  Nothing was
going right today!
    First his sword broke in half while he was busy dealing with some of
the local monsters.  Then, he slipped on some loose gravel and fell sixty
feet into a river below the mountain pass he was crossing.  Then the
piranhas tried to eat him, although they just broke teeth on him, it was
still very irritating.  And to top it all off, he'd ruined a perfectly good
outfit and would have to walk around half naked until he could replace it
-- which he COULDN'T do, because his cloak was now ashes and humans
wouldn't deal with him without a suitable disguise!!
    But that was okay; Zelgadis could handle that.  It was just bad luck.
He was a reasonable guy and could... screw that, he was PISSED.  He just
woke up on the totally wrong side of the bed that morning and now he was
having an awful day, where everything from the trees to the rocks seemed to
be out to get him, and everything was so totally awful and he was so angry
about it all and--
    He readied the recently broken, but servicable, half-of-a-sword when he
heard someone approach.
    "I don't care who's out there.  Don't mess with me," Zelgadis said,
ignoring any polite greetings.  "You have no idea what a day I've been
having."
    The dirty homeless guy walked out from around a tree, puffing on a
rotten little cigarette.  "I could only imagine," he snickered.  "Been
watching you.  Interesting guy.  Nice skin.  Do you put yourself in a rock
tumbler every now and then to make it nice and shiny?"
    "Screw off," Zelgadis said.
    Bugger was privately quite pleased.  He had kept a monitor on the
dripfeed of Slow Poison he had been feeding Zelgadis; a magical spell, like
a nonexistent intravenous drip bottle.  Normally it was given to a victim
much slower than this, while they were being tortured... that way, they
slowly went insane, a smorgasbord of fear, hatred, sadness and terror.
According to his estimates based on the flow rate, Zelgadis would be very
irrational right now, if not downright belligerent.  Soon paranoia would be
in full swing, and it was time to plant a few seeds in his mind.
    "I know exactly who you are," Bugger said, deciding to be blunt but
secretive -- the best way to confuse and distort Zelgadis's grasp on the
situation.
    "Oh?  And who might that be?" Zelgadis said, turning back to his
cooking fire.
    "Zelgadis Greyweirs.  Turned into a freak of nature by your grandfather
Rezo, always in search of a cure, sometimes seen in the company of the
enemy of all who bloody well live, Lina Inverse," Bugger rattled off.
    Zelgadis turned his head sharply, alarmed.  "What?  How did you--"
    "You know that she's laughing at you right now, mate?" Bugger said,
smiling wide.  "Laughin' at how you lost that cure, the one thing that
could've fixed you.  She's a vicious little tart, she is."
    "Go away," Zelgadis warned, voice low.  "I'm in no mood for lies and
games.  I didn't put up with that crap from Xelloss, and I won't from
whoever-you-are."
    "It's true," Bugger continued, dogging the chimera.  "She actually has
your cure.  She's had it for a long while now, but didn't tell you because
it's more fun to watch you beat yerself up lookin' for the flaming thing.
She and Gourry are both having a nice, hearty laugh at your expense.  You
know how mean she is to him; she's just as mean to you, in other ways--"
    Bugger ducked as Zelgadis hurled his sword at him, the blade thunking
into a tree near him.
    "I could get you a little revenge," Bugger said.  "I know where you can
get what you deserve."
    "I said GO AWAY!"
    "Oh yeah?" Bugger taunted.  "Who's gonna make me?  Some demon half
breed that's down on his luck?  What a pathetic sod YOU are, pal!"
    Zelgadis got to his feet, steamed beyond all sensibility.  "That's it.
You are DEAD!"
    And so, Bugger had to dodge fireball and flare arrow and ice blasts and
lord knows what else Zelgadis was pulling out, evading and flying his way
through the forest in a cat and mouse game.  This part was key, Bugger
knew; get the chimera incredibly frustrated, while leading him towards the
goal...
    Finally, Bugger dove into a nearby cave, deep into the darkness.  And
Zelgadis, already six miles towards gone, followed him right in.
    The Mazoku evaded Zelgadis, zipping out of the cave mouth, and sending
a blast of dark energy against the rock to bury the entrance.
    "Sealed, locked, and ready to rock," Bugger grinned.  "My day's looking
up."
    A not-so-innocent bystander, waiting there an hour so far, seemed
relieved.  "Good.  What's to stop him from magicing his way out, though?"
    "I put a seal on the rock to absorb magic," Bugger said.  "Oh, it won't
hold forever.  Maybe a few hours.  But that's all we need, and that's all
he needs to push himself totally over the edge.  I figure he'll come
busting out as a feral beast.  And THAT, mate, is how it's done."
    "You're a sick bastard, Mazoku," the bystander said, adjusting his
sunglasses.  "I can appreciate that, at least."
    "Yeah, I figured you would," Bugger said.  "C'mon, let's get back to
HQ.  Time for phase two."
    "Nightmare will be pleased at your assistance."
    "I could care less," Bugger said truthfully.  "Goal here is to whip
Lina like a bitch, not to please the wingless.  After this is done, I'm
departing."
    "Good.  I loathe your company," Loathing said.  "Less of it I have, the
better."

                                   [-*-]

     The streets of Pleasantville had a quiet tension about them, a tight
cord stretched almost to the point of breaking.  It wasn't obvious, in the
way the people waved hello to each other and always smiled, but the smiles
now seemed forced to Lina... mandatory, so nobody could see exactly how
twisted up inside you were.
     And occasionally there would be a skirmish.  A little old lady walking
her dog passed by a man carrying a keg of ale, and the dog decided it was
time to relieve its bladder; on the man's shoes.  Next thing you know, the
man is throttling the dog and the old lady is beating him over the head
with her cane.  Not far from that, someone on a second story window was
watering her plants, when some water splashed down on a waiter at a street
cafe.  After some insults, she dropped a flower pot on his head, and he
grabbed an armful of baked goods, charging up stairs with intent to do
grievous bready harm.
     Lina stayed close to Gourry.  Not that she was scared, of course; it
just seemed safer to travel as a closer group.  "This place is seriously
bent," Lina critically observed.  "How are we going to find the person
responsible for all this?"
     "I thought a bit about that, actually," Gourry said, intellectually.
"If I was going to try to do a lot of bad stuff to the town, I'd want to
find a place with a lot of power, like the local castle.  Then I could have
the army and the ruler to use.  Right?"
     "That's.. actually a good idea, Gourry," Lina said, stepping a bit
closer to him to avoid a mailman, bearing down on them with a package
tucked under one arm.  "Of course, if he's holed up in the castle, we'd
have to get by the security... he'd be near the lord, right?  Somewhere he
can issue orders."
     "It could be dangerous," Gourry said.  "I'll go check it out."
     "Why you?  I'm fine with danger too," Lina said.  "In fact--"
     "But I could pass myself off as a soldier," Gourry said.  "I'd blend
in more.  Then I could just report back what I saw, and we could decide
what to do next."
     "Where are you coming up with this plan?" Lina asked, boggled.
     Love spoke up.  "He did something similar when he was trying to find
out if the local militia was a government conspiracy.  His father
encouraged him."
     "Well... yeah, but that time it was a bad idea," Gourry said.  "It's a
good idea now, right Auntie?"
     "It was always a good idea.  You simply had a questionable reason,"
Love said.  "You're a very clever boy, Gourry.  You should speak up more
when working with others."
     "Oh, Lina usually smacks me when I say something stupid," Gourry said,
without much emotion.
     "Does she, now," Love said suspiciously, peering at Lina.
     "Ah... great idea, Gourry," Lina covered.  "We'll wait here in this
cafe while you go check out the castle.  Right."
     The swordsperson smiled.  "Gotcha!  I'll be back shortly."  He turned
around, and set off at a brisk trot.
     "Soooo... coffee?" Lina suggested.
     "Do you really hit him?" Love asked.
     "No!  No.  Yes," Lina said.  "A bit.  But only because he doesn't
understand anything!  And he keeps messing things up..."
     "Gourry may be slow to comprehend, but I think you're selling him
short," Love said.  "Besides, if you don't encourage him, he'll be too
hesitant to make an effort."
     "So I'm not exactly the caring, nurturing type," Lina said,
defensively.  "Sue me.  It's not like I don't value him at all, you know.
He's a pretty good adventure companion, and... he's a good guy with a sword
and stuff."
     "And that's all?" Love asked.
     "Before you start not-so-subtly hinting at something, no, it's nothing
that you're thinking of," Lina said, heading that horse off at the pass.
"Like I've said a dozen times in these last few days, we aren't
'partners'."
     "I think I will take that coffee," Love said, claiming a nearby
sidewalk cafe table.  "I'm buying."
     Those being the two words Lina most loves to hear, she was sitting
down and had the menu open in the blink of an eye.  "I'll take the deluxe
mocha mega java with cinnamon swirls and whipped toffee!!"
     "Gourry's handsome, isn't he?" Love sneaked in.
     "Yeah," Lina said.  Then she caught herself, and guarded.  "Of course,
so was Rezo.  Doesn't mean anything if you're pretty, you know.  Merely a
physical attribute with no connection whatsoever or connotation implied."
     "Yes, yes," Love said.  "And I'll have what you're having."

                                   [-*-]

     Quite a distance aways, a boy paced nervously outside the princess's
royal chambers.  His nerves were as twitchy as a n insect nervously
watching someone stalk him with a 500 flyswatters, through 500 segmented
eyes.  Which when you think about it was an awfully specific sort of
twitchiness, but it's still the most accurate representation.
     Finally, the doors opened, and the royal doctor invited him in.
     On the bed, Amelia was lying down in a strange sailor costume, smiling
and giggling to herself.
     "She's still a bit dazed," the doctor said, putting away his tools.
"There seems to have been an enchantment placed on her, but someone removed
it.  Someone seems to have given her a power that increases her strength,
which I can't identify; but it doesn't seem harmful.  She wanted to talk to
you alone, but keep in mind she's not in a very good frame of mind..."
     Dayvid Davince nodded, relieved.  "Do me a favor, and send for a
specialist in enchantments... I want to find out what's happened to her.
Pull any royal-type strings you have to."
     "I think I know of someone," the doctor said.  "I'll be back shortly."
     The doctor left, closing the door behind him.  Dayvid turned to face
Amelia, when suddenly the small girl pounced him, smooching his cheeks.
     "I love you, Dayvid-kun!" Amelia giggled.  "Boy!  It's good to be
home!  I love this palace, and the nice soft bed..."
     "Ghhh," Dayvid said.  "Gleehh... wha?"
     "You'd never believe where I've been!" Amelia said, climbing off
Dayvid, as if nothing strange had happened.  "But I feel so empowered with
love and happiness!  By the way, I tried to kill Lina I think, but it
wasn't my fault."
     His mind quietly denying that he just got kissed, David got himself
off the floor and regained a shred of dignity.  "Ah.. where was Lina?
Where have you been?"
     "I don't know," Amelia said.  "But they're in a lot of trouble.  There
was this Dragon who wanted me to do bad things to them, so she gave me this
really cool pen but lied to me, since Lina said she wasn't on drugs and I
think maybe she was really being honest but I don't remember much after
that.  Boy, I love this place!  Smell that air!"
     Dayvid sniffed.  It smelled like perfume and stuffed animals.
     "I'm excited!" Amelia beamed.  "Lina's on a really big quest and in
danger.  Now, with my magic pen, I can find her somehow and help her out!"
     "Amelia, you can't go anywhere," Dayvid told her.  "We have to check
you out, make sure you're healthy.  Maybe after that--"
     There was a knock at the door.
     "Hold that thought," Dayvid said, opening the door and getting a
trumpet blast in the face.
     The doorman bellowed.  "Now announcinge aye visitor for from the Royal
School of Magick And The Sciences in the Nation of Darata--"
     "Let him in," Dayvid practically begged, trying to rub some life back
into his ears.
     The visitor entered, wearing a white lab coat that was standard issue
for the few scientists in the world.  But it wasn't a him.  The woman
crossed the room, pulling out a pocket light spell on a stick and shining
it in Amelia's eyes.
     "Dilation with flecks of gold glow," she said, skipping the middleman
of introductions and smalltalk and getting right to the diagnosis.  "Silver
traces.  Dragon mood enchantment, same class as Enhance Calm, combined with
nonmagical reversal--"
     "That's a funny little light," Amelia smiled.  "I love it!  Can I have
it?"
     "Is she always this bouncy?" the woman asked, turning to talk right to
Dayvid.
     "Uh..." Dayvid mumbled, a bit off balance from the affair.  "No.
No... yes.  A bit.  But not THIS bouncy.  Er, are you the specialist?"
     "Curious case," the woman said.  "I'll have to study it a bit more.
Specialist?  No, I'm a generalist.  I was on my way to see you, actually.
Call me Reason."
     She stepped over and shook Dayvid's hand before he could react.
     "Did you know that your princess's enchantment was reversed by a
Talent?" Reason asked.  "She's had her sense of emotional love enhanced."
     "I'm lost," Dayvid said.  "What're you talking about?"
     "Let's go to your lab.  There's a great deal I need to discuss with
you that you're not aware of already," Reason said.  "No point in
chitchatting here.  There's important things to deal with."
     "Now wait just a minute, miss--"
     "Hey, Dayvid-kun!" Amelia called out.  "Do you wanna get married?"
     "My lab's not too far from here," Dayvid said quickly.

                                   [-*-]

     The situation in Pleasantville was getting worse.
     Lina winced as she heard another glass shatter against her table; she
had propped it up at an angle to work as a shield, where she and Love (aka
Aunt Koirry) could hide.
     "Tell me," Lina said.  "In your life, and I know it's been a long
one... have you ever seen an angry drink-throwing chair-smashing brawl at a
coffee shop?"
     "Bars?  Yes.  Cafes, no," Love said.  "What started this?  I was busy
watching the street for Gourry..."
     "Someone was arguing over a tip," Lina told her.  The sound of fists
flying and highly intellectual coffee-house trash talk threatened to
overwhelm her.  "Then one thing led to another..."
     "This is the sort of thing I can't stand," Love said, frowning just
slightly.  "When one of us uses our Talents to control others.  I could see
the Mazoku or the Dragons not understanding, but the wingless should know
by now that humans are not meant to be a controlled force.  You can't bend
them artificially to YOUR will for long; it never works out... plus it's
quite tasteless, but that's more an aesthetic issue..."
     "Incoming!" Lina yelled, covering herself as a boiling hot triple
espresso came sailing through the air, over her barricade--
     A sword neatly slashed the mug in half.
     "I'm back!" Gourry proclaimed, guarding the women behind the table.
     Lina stood up, dripping with scalding hot coffee.  "You klutz!  You
just ended up dumping what was in that thing on us!!"
     "Oh... sorry," Gourry apologized.  "I didn't mean to."
     "Why, I oughtta--"
     "Liiina," Love warned.
     "--stop drinking coffee," Lina corrected.  "Considering how often I've
had my person soaked in it lately.  Can you get us away from these nuts?"
     Gourry shoved a busboy armed with an extremely volatile herbal tea
aside, and led Lina and his auntie out to the relative peace of the street.
     "You know, it's the weirdest thing," Gourry said.  "The castle's
gone."
     "You sure you were looking in the right place?" Lina asked, just to
check.
     "Sure.  But all they had left was a big crater," Gourry said.
"Apparently someone sent a bomb there yesterday and blew the thing up.  It
wasn't a very large castle, mind you."
     "Considering this town, it could've been any one of these guys," Lina
said, glancing around the city.  "We're back to square one-- sent a bomb?"
     "Yeah, through the mail," Gourry said.
     Just to emphasize the point, a mailman walked by, carrying a small
package.  Lina watched him go by.
     "Thought occurs to me," she said.  "Let's say you wanted to cause a
whole bunch of chaos in a very organized city.  You could go take over the
army, but that would be too obvious, and you don't want to be found by this
girl with wings who's going to probably come for you.  What's the next best
organization to infiltrate, one that can reach anywhere in the city without
a single comment?"
     "Oh NO!!" Gourry gasped.  "They've going after door to door broom
salesmen!"
     Lina wobbled slightly.  "Not salesmen!  Mailmen!  Didn't you notice
how even with everybody at each other's throats, the mail is still going?
This is mostly a residential place and everybody gets mail... stop that
mailman!"
     Taking this as a direct order, Gourry sprinted after the postman,
grabbed him by the back of the neck and carried him around to Lina, holding
him up for her examination like a coat on a coat rack.
     "HEY!" the mailman protested, as Lina Inverse snatched the box away,
and listened to it, one ear pressed to the side of the cardboard container.
     "Doesn't sound funny..." Lina said.  She considered opening it,
thought better of it and did a gentle magical probe.  "Aha.  Latent
fireball spell, a big one.  Designed to be triggered by remote.  What are
the odds we're going to find these bundles of joy sent to every building in
town?"
     "You can't stop the Legion of Disgruntled Postal Workers!!" the
mailman frothed.  "Our leader Lenny is going to crush this city in a blaze
of glory, and then it's on to the world!"
     "Ah, now this makes sense," Lina said, clapping once in delight.
"Okay.  Gourry, ditch this guy--"
     Gourry tossed the mailman into a nearby dumpster.  The lid swung
neatly shut to trap him.
     "--and now, I believe it's time to make a visit to our local post
office," Lina said.  "I've got a special delivery to make.  Postage due!"
     "And I'm gonna lick the stamp!" Gourry said, posing.
     Lina paused.
     "...what does stamp licking have to do with kicking ass, Gourry?"
     "Uh... I don't know.  What does Postage Due have to do with it?"
     "Nevermind," Lina sighed.  "Let's just go."

                                   [-*-]

    Darkness swirled around inside the cave.  The air was getting
thinner.  His thoughts weren't coming easily.  Who put him here?  He wanted
to hurt that person.  Why couldn't he get out?  Where was his magic?  He
beat on the walls, not understanding what was going on, but wanting escape,
flight, freedom, vengeance, punishment, anger, rage--
    Zelgadis was aware that something was wrong.  He usually kept his
emotions in check, but now they were running wild.  Except each time he
tried to concentrate on that, he just got angry at himself, and then go
angry at everybody else and then he thought he was screaming and trying to
tear apart the cave with his bare hands.  In a lot of ways, he was walking
asleep; acting on instinct in a universe that made no sense.  Try as he
might, he couldn't concentrate enough to understand.
    He remembered something... something about the cure he wanted.  Yes, he
wanted a cure because he was a freak.  Did he say that?  Someone else said
that, he said that, not him, him me.  And someone had the cure and was
laughing at him.  Was that person really laughing?  Lina laughed a lot but
it might not be about that but it might be.  Lina was keeping something
from him him had said to him.  It was all Lina Inverse's fault that he was
a freak and he had to punish her he said to him and he believed it but
wasn't sure but believed it and wanted death from somewhere.  Again and
again and again.
    The chimera pushed out with magical power, unfocused, no spells
attached.  He felt a wall, and he pushed and pushed and screamed and pushed
until the bubble burst.  The mountain collapsed around him, rocky rubble,
with greasy sunlight.
    Free!
    Howling, he took to the air, some part of him knowing his flight
spell.  Now the ones who did this would pay.  Lina Inverse would pay.  He
felt this was somehow the wrong thing to do but did it anyway, because he
was so angry.  Logic took a back seat and moped.
    Zelgadis zipped out of sight, heading for the nearest town.

                                   [-*-]

    It wasn't often that you saw armed guards at a post office, but now
that Lina was seeing it, it almost made sense.
    The mail system was not very developed, at least not on a global
scale.  Each city usually had a post office, and if you were lucky the
letters wouldn't be eaten by bandits or burned or thrown into the sea
inbetween point A and point B.  After all, anything could be in those
letters from money lending papers to government documents, and such things
were quite valuable on the open market.  Those doomed ones who were
supposed to carry these things across open country either needed a very
fast horse or wits of steel or both.  It was only natural for a group of
people who put their lives in pointless risk so Aunt Mabel can find out
that Zippy had three puppies to be close enough to the edge to only require
a little... push...
    So now the postmen of Pleasantville had started packing primitive heat.
    "Crossbows," Lina said, observing the weapons from a hiding spot around
the corner.  "Five shooters, latest technology.  Not good.  If they're
accurate enough, they can pick us off if we try to rush them."
    "I could probably slice an arrow in flight," Gourry said, drawing his
sword quietly; trained swordspeople were able to get ready for battle
without that irritating 'Shing!' sound.  "They're bigger than insects and
about as fast."
    "Could you snag ten of them in a row?" Lina asked.
    "Uhhh... I could try!"
    "Not a gamble I'd put money on," Lina said.  Noticing Gourry's slightly
hurt expression, she added, "You're good with a blade, Gourry, but given
that we'd probably get wooden sticks through our chests if even ONE slips
by, I think we should think of something else.  Ne?"
    "Okay, good point," Gourry said.  "I could walk up and pretend to be
lost, and while they're distracted, you can blast them with magic!"
    "Get real, Gourry," Lina said, rolling her eyes.  "A fully armored and
armed mercenary walks up and they won't shoot first and ask questions
later?  Besides, we're trying to sneak in."
    "But I do like the idea of pretending to be lost," Love said,
supporting some of Gourry's idea.  "I'll do that.  I look plain enough."
    "You'll use a Talent to charm them?" Lina asked.
    "Overkill," Love said.  "I don't use Talents willy nilly.  I'll just
bumble and be an adorably doddering woman with no clue.  It'll work.  I
know people.  Then Lina can step out and zap them while I have them
distracted."
    "Right.  All agreed?" Lina said.
    The other two nodded.
    Love took a deep breath, then... added a slight slump to her walk, as
if she was having back problems, and shuffled around the corner with a
worried expression.  She didn't change her appearance any, but Lina could
swear she FELT older.
    "Oh, sonny!" she called.  One of the guards twitched and raised his
weapon, but Auntie gave him a sweet, harmless smile and the man relented.
    "Whaddya want?" he asked, trying to sound nasty enough to spook the old
woman off.
    "I'd forget me own head if it weren't attached..." Auntie giggled
matronly.  "Could you tell me how to get to Main Street?  Oh, my poor self,
I've lost my way and I need to get to my niece's tea party, she's so
looking forward to it and I wouldn't want to disappoint..."
    The postman gestured off to the side, looking down the street.  The
other did likewise.
    "You want to go one block that way, then two down," he said.
    "Is that down as in to my left or to my right, dearie?"
    "Right, obviously," the postman said.  "Then you continue past the
Florists, after which OH GOD OH GOD I'M BURNING OH GOD--"
    Lina blew some smoke off her index finger, then snapped off two fast
Freeze Arrows, locking the guards down in place.  "The old one two combo.
Stuns them, stops them."
    "A bit sadistic, don't you think?" Gourry asked.
    "Just think of them as bandits, Gourry," Lina said.  "Bandits with a
very alternative uniform."
    "Oh, okay," Gourry nodded.

                                   [-*-]

    Loathing paced ovals into the Postmaster General's room, feeling like a
caged animal.  He grimaced occasionally.
    "I don't like waiting," he said.  "When are the bombs going to be
finished?  I wanna set them off."
    His recently acquired companion checked a clipboard.  "'ard to say,"
Bugger said.  "We got a third of the force out planting the last ones.
Maybe a half hour."
    "And what about Lina Inverse?  Is your chimera hunting her down and
keeping her out of my hair?"
    "Iffy," Bugger said.  "Depends on how fast he broke out of the seal.
He's probably seeking her out right now, though.  Don't worry!
Everything's coming up bloody goddamn roses and such.  Ain't that right,
Nighty?"
    There was a third person here, and a fourth.  They simply happened to
be sharing the same body.  The postal worker slept soundly, twitching
occasionally in unhappy dreams; despite this, his mouth moved, and words
came out.
    "Your plan will come to nothing," the postman said, although his voice
was deeper than it normally would be.  "I have warned you against such bold
strokes.  Drama failed with the same modus.  Simplicity is key when dealing
with Lina Inverse.  Kill her.  She has come too far, farther than any have
expected.  Kill her immediately with every power you can acquire, and
deliver the bard to me.  Then perhaps I will agree that everything has come
up bloody goddamn roses, foolish little Mazoku."
    "Watch your mouth, pal," Bugger said, pointing accusingly at the poor
bastard Nightmare was speaking through.  "You wingless get too uppity, and
maybe Mazoku aren't gonna be as mutual as we are now."
    The body remained silent.  Not out of intimidation, simply because it
didn't feel a need to respond.
    "I hate the way he's doing that," Loathing commented.  "Torturing that
guy with nightmares just so he can posses the body.  It's filthy.  And I
hate how he seems to regard all the wingless as his little siblings."
    "So why are you working with him?" Bugger asked.
    "He's made promises," Loathing said, with a shrug.  "Perhaps worthless,
but if he succeeds, it will all change.  You'd even approve, Mazoku.  When
the wings--"
    There was a knock on the door.
    "Seems like a few of the soldiers are back from their rounds," Bugger
grinned.  "See?  What'd I tell ya, mate?"
    The door swung open, and Lina leaned into the room.
    "Hello!" she said.  "Is there a naughty little boy named Loathing in
here?"
    Bugger's stomach sank.  "It figures.  It just FIGURES that she'd find
us and not be even noticed by my pawn.  Typical sodding bad day, oh yes,
keep dumping it all on Bugger, I say--"
    "I'm not going with you," Loathing said, pulling a large, nasty knife
from inside his trenchcoat.  It was shiny, and sharp, and looked more than
adequate for sorceress sushi.  "I'm not going back to the Lord of
Nightmares.  I hate her and she hates me and I'll never go back."
    Lina took out a jelly jar, uncapping the lid.  She ignored Bugger; just
some smelly guy with no weapons or sorcerer's markings.  "So much for an
easy catch.  Now, if you'll put down the knife, we can--"
    Bugger took a puff on his cigarette, then exhaled; the fumes inflated,
spreading thick and sticky and fast, slamming Lina up against a wall like a
wad of slime.
    "Never overlook a Mazoku, human," Bugger grinned.  "'cause--"
    Gourry was in the room in a flash, sword neatly slicing Bugger's head
off.
    "Oh, please," the Mazoku's head said, as his body picked up the ball
and set it back in place atop his shoulders.  "Like some bit of sharp
metal's gonna keep ME in--"
    "LIGHT COME FORTH!!" Gourry chanted, and the blade vanished; a glowing
nimbus of white light forming, sword length, and vibrating with positive
energy.
    "But that's another matter entirely," Bugger admitted.  "See you later,
wingless." And he knocked a hole in the wall and ran for it.
    The spell gone, Lina unpeeled from the wall, coughing and wheezing.
She felt like she needed four showers immediately, but there was business
to attend to.  Gourry and Lina advanced on Loathing, who took a step
backwards, keeping the knife in front of him.
    "No.  No way, I am not going," Loathing said.  He twisted the knife
around in his grip, then held it up to his neck, point first.  "I'd sooner
slit my throat than go with you.  Stay back!"
    Lina paused.  "Gourry, what do we do when the designated enemy has
taken himself hostage?"
    "I dunno," Gourry said.  "First time it's happened to me--"
    An explosion ripped through the room, tossing everybody onto their
feet; the roof exploded into chunks of rock, exposing the room to the open
sky.
    Lina rubbed a bump on her head, grimacing at the pain and looking up.
"What NOW?!"
    Contrary to all expectations she might have had that day, hovering in
the air was someone she hadn't seen in weeks.  Zelgadis.
    And from the look on his face, he wasn't happy to see her.
    "Lina!" he recognized.
    "Zel?!!" Lina gagged.
    "DIE!" he suggested, and hurled a fireball into the room.  Gourry dove,
knocking himself and Lina to the side; the fireball melted its way through
a wall, and set fire to a stack of several hundred sweepstakes envelopes.
    A voice taunted them from above.  "Looky who I found in my strategic
withdrawal!" the Mazoku laughed.  "It's your old friend and my new friend.
Zel, there's the one who's been keeping your cure from you.  Let's take
care of business, yeah?"
    Lina beat on Gourry's head slightly.  "Quit lying on me!  I've got to
get a spell off before--"
    With a flare of dark power, Bugger and Zelgadis started to pour liquid
fire into the rapidly disintegrating room.  Lina threw up a defensive
shield; a weak one, since she still hadn't practiced white magic to her
liking, but enough.  The threat passed, she took Gourry and opened her
wings, flying into the sky to do battle.
    Silence filled the room, save the crackling of flames and the ooze of
improvised lava.
    Loathing stood up from behind the scalding hot filing cabinets he had
hid behind.  They were gone!
    "I did it!" he laughed.  "Nobody's going to take me back!  I ran 'em
off!"
    "Not all of them."
    He turned, and saw someone across the room...
    "No.  No!  Not you!" Loathing growled.
    "Me," Love said.  "I'm here for you, brother.  Our mother wants us to
come home.  She loves us, and it's time at last for the Council.  We have
to go to her."
    "I'm not going," Loathing said, getting his knife out.  "You can't make
me--"
    Love advanced, a wave of golden Talent flowing through her, threatening
to overcome Loathing with calming feelings of comfort, with understanding
that his sister was here because she loved him, she had been looking for
him for a long time and wanted to help him, help her beloved brother--
    "NO!" Loathing shouted, fighting back, pouring dirty gold into the
fire, hatred, anger, rage, sadness, loneliness, thirst for pain, running
from agony, striking out, fear and loathing like a bad trip straight down
the primal ladder--
    Waves collided, shattering against each other, an inverted tug of war
for emotion.
    The two ignored the self destructing post office.  Their fight was too
important.

                                   [-*-]

    Three dots darted through the sky, hurling fire and lightning at each
other.
    Gourry clung to Lina's torso for dear life.  "I wish you had more to
hang onto!!" he said.  "You're too flat!  I'm going to fall to my death!"
    "GOURRY--" Lina growled, but was cut short, angling her wings to evade
another volley of magic ice.  "This isn't working.  We need to get on the
ground, where you can help out."
    "Yes yes!  Ground good!" Gourry agreed.  "Hurry!"
    Lina swooped low, her flight arc natural and graceful, unlike the
wobbling movements of her opponent's flight magic.  She pulled up at the
last moment, pushing Gourry off -- who thankfully landed on his feet -- and
drawing her sword.
    "I can't hurt the Mazoku without Ultra Restoration, and I don't have
the concentration right now to cast it," Lina said.  "You take on the ugly
freak, I'll try to talk some sense into Zelgadis."
    Gourry oriented himself from pleading agoraphobia to battle ready
warrior in a split second.  "Check," he nodded, and swing his blade out,
firing a shot of the light power from its hilt.
    Bugger nearby got a hole burned through his chest from that one, and
the tables got turned; predator prey reversal.
    "I'm going after him, yell if you need help," Gourry said quickly,
sprinting after the fleeing demon.
    Lina watched him go, and winced as a flare arrow singed her arm -- she
quickly hopped away, as Zelgadis landed.
    Something was really wrong with the chimera.  His skin was an unhealthy
shade of blue-green, and his eyes were totally dilated; unused to the
bright lights of daytime, unwilling to change.  He was breathing a lot
harder than he should have been, and sweat like oil ran down his forehead.
The grip on his sword was almost enough to crush the handle.
    "What gives, man?" Lina asked, keeping her sword ready, defensively.
"You wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"
    "My cure!  YOU HAVE MY CURE!" Zelgadis accused, dashing forward,
flinging blow after blow at Lina; swings sparking as she parried each in
turn.  "I hate you I hate you I HATE YOU!"
    "I could swear we left that guy behind!" Lina joked, her way of dealing
with fright.
    This was not a good situation by far.  Zelgadis was clearly better with
a blade than Lina, and in this berserker mode, he was stronger than ever.
But if Lina took to the skies and turned the battle magical, she stood a
good chance of hurting Zel pretty badly... at least by keeping it on the
ground, she wouldn't have to worry.  Zelgadis's skin was pretty much
swordproof.
    Lina's skin wasn't, though.  No way she could keep this trick up for
long.  She did her best to defend against every blow, and try to talk him
down from his state.
    "What makes you think I have your cure?!" she asked, parrying blow
after blow...
    "The man, him, he told him, he told me, I told me you have my CURE!"
Zelgadis said, punctuating the word that drove him on with a strike so hard
Lina almost lost her balance.  A follow through strike snipped at her leg
-- Lina winced, held it in.
    "How does that make sense?" Lina asked.  "I'd have given it to you if
you had it.  You're being tricked!"
    "You're lying, you always lie to me, you've always LIED!"
    A flash of steel, and Lina felt a sharp pain in her arm -- ignore it,
ignore it.  Your old friend and my new friend, he said-- "The Mazoku
enchanted you.  He bent you to think this way -- you're acting like the
other Lina!" she realized.  "From months ago, you remember?"
    Zelgadis's swordfight slowed slightly.  Sure, he was still attacking,
but not relentlessly... just doggedly.  He was trying to think, and
couldn't fight and think at the same time.  "Other Lina... she lied she
lied, didn't she?  You're lying--"
    "The Mazoku dripped some kind of magic poison in her that distorted her
mind," Lina said.  "Think.  They could have done that to you.   Can't you
tell?"
    The attack staggered to a halt.  Zel's sword twitched, wanting to keep
fighting, but he strained.  "Tell... think..."
    "Are you a logical, reasonable sort of person or not?" Lina said.
    "I'm REASONABLE!" Zelgadis growled, angry at the doubting.
    Lina Inverse stepped way the hell away, in case the fight started
again.  "Think.  Logic.  Reason.  You always told me to think about things
before I do them.  Does this make sense?  Could you be distorted?  Would
that explain why you feel this way?"
    Struggle showed on Zelgadis's face.  He wanted to attack, to strike
out-- but he wanted to think.  He always thought about things before,
didn't he?  He did he didn't did he... he stopped and thought but stopping
would mean not attacking and he wanted death, he wanted to...
    One thought hit him with crystal realization : If he was being used as
a cheap tool in some totally standard Mazoku plot, he'd be very upset about
it.  He wouldn't put up with that sort of garbage.  He'd fight it..
    ..fight who?  Wh???
    "I.. I don't understand," Zel said.  "I have to... death, I have to..."
    "I didn't want to try this after such an active day, but..." Lina said,
approaching quickly, before Zelgadis got a chance to react.  She summoned
the power through familiarity, bypassing the chant and hoping it would be
enough.  "*Ultra Restoration!*"
    Zelgadis blinked, and--
    --he FELT fire course through every part of his body, burning out a
slick layer of filth that had gathered under his skin, leaving it very
tender and pure as it flowed through...
    His mind snapped into sharp focus, realizing where he was and what was
going on.  His emotions ran to hide, his reason coming out to take charge
of the situation.  Zelgadis was back.
    Lina fell into his arms, exhausted from the effort, and Zel caught her
instinctively.
    Also a bit tired, Zelgadis let out a sigh of relief, and eased Lina to
the ground to rest.  He quickly poured a small healing spell into her cuts,
closing them for now to stop the bleeding.
    "If it helps, I apologize," he said.  He got a plan of action together,
and covered Lina with as much scrub brush as he could find, quickly; so she
wouldn't be visible.  Then he put on his best flight spell, and went off to
join the party.  And maybe get some revenge.  This time, he'd have it
served cold, instead of raging hot.

                                   [-*-]

    A short distance away, Bugger was running out of ideas.
    Nobody told him someone would have the Sword of Light on this trip.
Sure, he could probably survive a blow from it; if he didn't mind losing a
limb for good or something like that.  Didn't it just FIGURE?  Blast his
rotten luck.
    "My chimera's probably ripping your little girlfriend apart by now," he
taunted, evading Gourry's swings.  He found it was easier to avoid Gourry's
swordwork than those huge-ass blasts from the hilt, so the fight had turned
into a nasty game of melee squabble.
    "Lina can handle him," Gourry said.  "And she's not my girlfriend."
    Bugger thought he saw a handle.  "We could arrange for her to be your
lover, yannow.  Mazoku 're capable of that.  How about it?"
    Gourry slashed hard enough to nearly take off Bugger's hand, despite
the dark shield the Mazoku kept up.  "Shut UP!"
    Okay, bad handle, Bugger thought.  Maybe it was time to retreat--
    A strike from behind knocked him into a spin, crashing down on the
ground in an awkward heap.
    When he looked up, not only did he have some madman with the Sword of
Light to deal with, but his own chimera.  Who looked pretty good for a
paranoid.
    "Wha...?" he managed.
    "Rezo already tried the controlling gag on me once, you know," Zelgadis
said, raising his sword.  "It didn't work for real long then, either.
Lina's fine and dandy by the way, thanks for asking -- but I can't say the
same about you..."
    Bugger was not a stupid man.  He didn't bother taunting, or fighting;
he was OUT of there, like a bolt from the blue, soaring as fast as he
magically could.  He didn't even look back until he was several miles away.
    And the stink of it was... now Angela was going to tease him.  He
really wasn't looking forward to that.

                                   [-*-]

    Always prepared, Zelgadis had some smelling salts ready from his cloak,
after they cleared the tree branches and bushes off Lina.
    Lina was pulled from bad dreams right away, sitting upright.  She
noticed Zel, moved for her sword, then saw the smile.
    "Good to see you," Zelgadis said.  "Although I'm a bit embarrassed
about the circumstances..."
    "Zel?  Gourry?" Lina asked, just making sure she was awake.  "How long
was I out?"
    "Just a few minutes," Zelgadis said.
    "We chased the Mazoku off," Gourry said.  "I fired a shot after him,
but it must've missed."
    She got to her feet, still a bit weak, but determined to push on.
"Loathing... we've gotta go get him.  If he didn't run off.  Damn!  This
quest isn't going real well, is it?"
    But Lina's grumblings were negated when they jogged back to town, and
to the smoking remains that used to be a post office.
    There they saw Love, hugging her brother, who was sobbing openly.
    "I hate myself," Loathing whispered.  "I'm so sorry, sister..."
    "There there..." she soothed, patting his back.  "There there.  It's
going to be alright.  Sister promises."
    Lina kept out of Loathing's sight, getting a jar out.  She motioned to
it, and shot a questioning look to Love.  The woman nodded.
    The young sorceress pressed the jar up to Loathing's back softly, and
waited...
    Aunt Koirry flashed a wink to Gourry, and a parting smile, before the
two vanished into the jar.

                                   [-*-]

    Returning to Testabourne went faster than Zelgadis was expecting,
through this weird thing Lina had found called the Sub Ways.  She tried to
explain it to him, but clearly the girl was tired, and Zel wasn't
interested enough; so he bluntly told her to explain later.
    Truth was, he was a bit ashamed of himself.  Of course, it was all some
tiresome Mazoku plot; but he always thought of himself as a reasonable
person, not a ball of unhinged emotion.  He didn't like losing control of
his anger, even when coaxed there by outside forces.
    It happened once before, when the other Lina told him horror stories to
whip him up into enough of a frenzy to ignore an obvious trap.  Now it had
happened twice.  He'd have to work very hard to avoid a third accident.
    Night approaching, the Gabriev household was quiet, save Mrs. Gabriev
cooking up some yummy brownies in the kitchen.
    "Oh, hello!" she greeted them.  "I see you found a new friend.  And
he's blue!  That's nice."
    "Aunt Koirry went into a little jelly jar with her brother for now,"
Gourry explained.  "And Zelgadis is going to be staying with us.  He's a
chimera, but I think he likes brownies.  Right?"
    "Er, right," Zelgadis said.  "Brownies are good."
    "Tomorrow, we can drop you off wherever you want, Zel," Lina said,
stretching some kinks out in her back.  For some reason, Gourry avoided
watching that.  "Sorry to get you mixed up in all this."
    "Drop off?" Zelgadis asked, amused.  "I'm coming with you."
    "Eh?"
    "I'd like another crack at that bastard who did this to me," Zelgadis
said.  "You can explain the specifics tomorrow.  I'm sure it's no stranger
than whatever other jaunt you've been on."
    "You sure, Zel?" Lina asked.  "I'll warn, this one's pretty weird...
and dangerous."
    "It's always weird and dangerous," Zel said, calmly.  "But from the
looks of today, you could use the help."
    "Hey--"
    "Tomorrow, tomorrow," Zelgadis insisted.  "You need rest.  Right,
Gourry?"
    "Huh?  Oh, right.  Rest is good," Gourry said.  He gave Lina a warm
smile.  "Pleasant dreams!"

                                   [-*-]

    That night...
    That night, Gourry dreams.
    His dreams are very unimaginative.  He never really understood why
people described dreams with funny words like 'mystical' and 'surreal' and
'hazy'.  All Gourry usually dreamed about were memories.  It wasn't a bad
way to spend the evening, remembering a good family picnic, or an outing
with your friends.  Lately, Gourry had been dreaming about the times he
spent with Lina, slaying bad guys and recovering treasure and sometimes
tangling with Mazoku lords.  They might have been dangerous, but he knew
that everything turned out okay, and could always look back on them fondly.
    And very recently, he had been dreaming about the time spent in a
castle in Ky, when he felt all funny.  That someone he knew and cared about
was in danger and he was in a prison cell, and would do anything in his
power and then some to protect her.  Protect her and... well, it was really
a mess.  His dreams played like a weird mix of Myth's candid explanations
of what happened and the half-remembered visions from the strange place.
Hastily edited footage from life's reel.
    He saw himself trying to bend the bars.  Why would he do that?  He
wasn't stupid enough to think that he could make solid iron collapse...
    "You were saying you'd heard a cry for help," Myth said, because she
was busy trying to get it through Gourry's head.  Was busy.  "You were
acting like a knight who had lost his lady love.  It was pretty touching,
in a weird, Talent-induced kind of way, actually..."
    He saw himself running up stairs, attacking guards and minions with
lightning speed, any obstacle in his path falling to his feet.  Who was
he?  He was Gourry, right?  He felt like a knight, and Gourry wasn't a
knight; technically he was a mercenary, although he didn't like that title
sometimes, because it implied an eyepatch and a knife and a bad attitude.
What was he thinking, barging through like that, anyway?...
    "You kept saying you had to get to her," Myth said.  "But you stopped
saying it was to protect her.  You just had to get to her.  You needed to
or something."
    Finally reaching Lina, who was in some scary looking machine and
defenseless... seeing that sent him into a sort of rage.  He attacked Naga,
which he later apologized for although she claimed not to remember it, and
finally defeated that Drama guy.  And then...
    Well, Gourry wasn't one to delude himself.  He told Lina he loved her
and kissed her.  Facts were facts, after all.
    Jumpcut.
    "You've been traveling with Lina for several years now," his Auntie
reminded him.  Good old Auntie.  She always knew what to do.  In a way he
knew that she never really told him what to do, she just let him talk about
it until he figured it out on his own, but that was okay too.
    She asked another question.  "Did you ever go anywhere WITHOUT Lina?"
    Actually, he did, didn't he?  He didn't remember much about that,
either.  Another weird powerful person had kidnapped him, or something...
he remembered being pulled away, and Lina was running after him... was she
crying?  It was such a long time ago...
    Clip after clip played for Gourry, tiny snippets and moments.  Like a
documentary set out to prove a point which Gourry wasn't exactly sure
about.  His dream-mind, which was simple in a good way just like his
waking-mind, figured this was probably just because he had a late snack
before bed and started to think about Lina, Lina who had been on his mind a
lot lately, Lina who he could see in all these clips that he loved--
    Oh...
    That must be it, then.
    Purpose achieved, his dreams unrolled into a perfectly ordinary
dreamlike remembrance of his friends playing Bonkers one day, until Bobby
had to be taken to the hospital for head injury.  The group generally
agreed that meant Bobby had lost, and a fun time was had by all, and
thoughts about Lina were pushed aside until much later.

                                   [-*-]

    Zelgadis went to bed more tired than he wanted the others to realize.
It had been a draining day; dumped into a state of perpetual rage, then
burned by white fire until he was calm again.  If you bend a reed as far as
it can go one way, then bend it back, it will snap.
    Fortunately, being a chimera and being a reasonable person, he wasn't
the sort that would snap easily.  But he did realize he needed some serious
downtime, and encouraged everybody to get some as well.  The soft blankets
and pillows of the Gabriev lenin closet made little difference to stone
skin, but he was asleep quickly.
    Then he dreamed.
    Zelgadis never liked dreaming.  He thought it was a pointless waste of
time, little more than a meaningless dribble of pseudosymbolic garbage.  He
heard about people who assumed dreams were stories trying to tell you about
yourself, and figured there might be some truth to it, but he'd rather
trust conclusions made about himself AWAKE than ones made ASLEEP.  A sleepy
mind probably couldn't make good decisions, after all.
    That's why he was too busy figuring on the various jutting rock
formations as being phallic imagery and scoffing at the absurdity of it all
to realize where he was -- but it hit him quickly after that.
    This was the cave he was trapped in.
    He didn't get a very good look at the place before he was sealed in,
and wasn't in a frame of mind to appreciate the geology anyway.  But he
must have gotten some kind of brief look, in that dim light, because he
recognized what he was seeing in this dream.
    Zelgadis started to will the dream to go away, a trick he had learned
over the years, but something gave him pause.  Primitive drawings were on
the walls.
    Now, Zelgadis realized whatever he was seeing couldn't possibly have
REALLY been in that cave.  No way he could remember it in such detail after
so quick a look.  It made no reasonable sense.
    But out of curiosity, he studied the paintings anyway.
    It depicted a group of worshippers, kneeling before the a chained
goddess; a woman who, despite being bound to her altar, was blessing them.
Then they'd walk off beyond the altar.  Simple enough, but that wasn't the
curious part.
    The group waiting to be blessed had bluish greyish skin and purple
hair.  After being blessed, they had ordinary pink skin and black hair,
like a human would have.
    Obvious projected subconscious desires of a cure for my condition,
Zelgadis thought.  He glanced past the mural, to a sunken well hidden in
the cave's depths, and a ladder leading down...
    Okay.  MAYBE it was worth checking out.  Despite it being a clear
fantasy of an irrational sort.  It wouldn't take long.  And Lina was
managing just fine.  And he could get revenge on the Mazoku dog after
confirming that this wasn't really anything important.  Right.
    Zelgadis woke himself up, got his equipment and left to knock quietly
on Myth's door.
    "I need to use the Sub Ways," he said softly.  "Just for a minute."

                                   [-*-]

    Lina flew over a dark landscape.  Unseen hands reached for her, pulling
at her arms, her legs, her wings; she tore away each time, flying faster
and faster to get away--
    She burst through some kind of bubble, and landed in a pleasant, happy
meadow, full of cheerful flowers and bright green grass.  Confusion set in
immediately.
    "Kind of blunt, I realize," a voice said.  "But I needed to get your
attention.  You've been ignoring me lately in your dreams..."
    "Wh-who's there?!" Lina said, drawing her dream's sword.
    Xelloss popped into existence with a pleasant little musical melody.
    "Hello!" he said.  "I see you're finally cognizant of this dream.  It
hasn't been easy trying to get in touch with you, you know.  How are
things?"
    "Oh great, I'm dreaming of Xelloss again," Lina groaned.  "I guess it's
better than a--"
    "Shh.  Don't say his name," Xelloss warned, putting a finger to Lina's
lips.  "I'm laying low.  Mmm.  So you think this is just a dream enigmatic
priest, then?  Haven't I appeared in dreams before and been the real
thing?  Think back now."
    Lina's memory rolled back.  "At... hey.  You DID talk to me this way
before."
    "Give the girl a prize!" Xelloss cheered, handing Lina an adorable
plush Xelloss Dolly.
    Curious, she pulled the string in back.  'That is a secret!' the dolly
teased, in a mechanical voice.
    "Now that I have your undivided attention, we have matters to discuss,"
Xelloss said, his eyes opening; it was time to be serious.  "You've done
well gathering the wingless.  Too well.  They're starting to move.  Not
just some lackluster Dragon and Mazoku, this time you have the worst of the
lot keen on your destruction."
    Lina sighed.  "Look, if you're just going to tease me with secrets--"
    "No secrets," Xelloss said.  "I said already.  This is too important.
You have wings now, I see; that's good.  You're going to actually complete
the prophecy, the first one to get this far.  Ever."
    Lina got thoughtful.  "So no secrets, eh?  I can ask any question and
you'll answer it?"
    "Any question," Xelloss said.  "And I do not lie about things like
that."
    She decided to test that.  "Where are you?"
    "I'm currently Paradox's prisoner," Xelloss said.  "I've been using my
little trick to try and maneuver things despite this handicap.  It's hard
to evade the upstart, but I'm managing."
    "Prisoner?!  You?"
    "Things have changed since we last spoke," Xelloss said.  "I'm human
again, for starters."
    "WHAT?!  Why did you--"
    "Unfinished business," Xelloss said.  "I shrugged off the wings once
and fled to darker ground.  But I left in an escape clause with my employer
-- when the time came that another should rise, I would be allowed to leave
and give aid.  To do penance for my.. mistake.  I'm so relieved it was you,
Lina."
    "What the hell are you talking about?!" Lina demanded.  "Shrugged off
what wings?  What--"
    "I'm sorry, we're all out of time for question and answer, so let's
move right to the bonus round," Xelloss said.  "Listen.  There's a fourth
Giga spell that you need to know.  It's the gateway to the world of dreams,
the new home of Nightmare.  He's not supposed to be here, but somehow he
found a way back, and despite limited power, he's got some very nasty
aspirations.  I'll teach you the spell, so you can come and get him, and--"
    A dark rift shredded through the sweet dream Xelloss had wrought,
tearing it in half; Lina was knocked off her feet, her half drifting away
from Xelloss's.  An amorphous cloud of horror floated between them.
    Through the haze, Lina could see Xelloss.  He looked genuinely
surprised.
    "What a silly mistake I made..." he said, quietly.  "I named him."
    "And I have come," Nightmare replied, voice low with malice.  The
darkness swirled around Xelloss, and started to tear at him--
    "STOP!" Lina demanded, leaping across the chasm, striking at the cloud
with her blade.  The blade glowed briefly, just a hint of gold--
    Nightmare struck at Lina, casting her aside, and sliding away from
Xelloss.  The priest looked much worse for wear, very injured in a
metaphoric sense, broken.
    "You've come far, but this ends, Lina Inverse," Nightmare said.
    "Let Xelloss go," Lina demanded.
    "It is done," Nightmare said, casting Xelloss away.  "He has woken in
his cell, and will not sneak out again.  But you and I are not finished.
One opportunity I will allow.  Will you yield in this useless quest?"
    Lina didn't even bother to consider the question seriously.  The answer
was clear.  "No."
    "Then I will stop using underlings," Nightmare said, advancing.  "No
more games, no more subversions.  Every night I will visit you, and I will
break you, piece by piece.  And soon, you will be gone.  You who are Chaos
will not achieve your true place, as my bitch mother desires.  This is my
world again, and I am destined to be the TRUE Lord of Nightmares."
    Somewhere in the waking world, Lina groaned, and twisted in her
sheets...

                              TO BE CONTINUED