SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
                 (http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
                            PRESENTS...

                         Slayers ReBirth :
                    Segment I : The Beginning

       A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
     obviously.  If I ever even considered claiming that these
     were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
     cell where I'd be forced to eat my own sequels to live.)

         --> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
             --> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--

                         [-III----------------------] [-VII--]
      [-O--------------------] [=I===] [-II-] [-IV--] [------]
                                       [-VI---------] [------]
           Time -->            [-V------------------] [------]

-=-

    Dawn rises over the forest, a bright yellow, sinking between the
trees lazily as the sun climbs its way to the top.  Because that's what
Brian was doing -- climbing all the way to the top.
    His professional name was Skeleton Badass, which he spent a great deal
of time thinking up.  He was surprised at how easy managing a gang of
bandits was, compared to his former career of cost accountancy; the profits
were high, and as long as he kept an eye on the overhead and expenditures,
it was quite profitable.  Once he had enough funds, he could invest in
larger scale operations, scaling up that criminal underworld ladder... and
soon, he'd be the most important man in Sailoon, aside perhaps from the
royals and from the musical superstars and other notable persons... at any
rate, a LOT of people would look up to him, and probably wouldn't make fun
of his voice again.
    Because Skeleton Badass felt that waking up early was a good road
towards better health, he survived that day.  (Which just goes to show that
he was right.)
    His bandit camp wasn't anything special... some wooden walls, a
watchtower, a cave to store the loot in.  Still, it was home.  Skeleton
Badass did some stretching exercises, to keep in some sort of reasonable
physical shape, yawned, looked at the fireball quietly wafting its way into
his midst, looked around for his toothbrush, went...
    Wait a minute.
    BOOM.
    The watchtower exploded into so much firewood, Skeleton Badass covering
himself instinctively to avoid any damage; and lucky, avoiding any of that
flaming driftwood.  More fireballs shot into the camp, impacting against
the hill, blowing a hole in the gates, in the fence...
    Now the boys were awake, and had their swords / clubs / maces / knives
out, ready to combat the invaders.  Skeleton was a smart man, and as a wise
battle tactical commander realized his only chance to survive was to go
hide, so he did.
    Through the fire, smoke and haze, he saw a single figure...
    Cost accountancy was starting to look like a very good way to live out
the rest of his life.
    Lina Inverse was here.

                                   [()()]

    She hadn't even worked up a sweat, tossing around the most basic of
shamanistic spells.  This wasn't any real test of her abilities, but it was
akin to morning exercises... you know, get up, stretch, stomp bandits, and
so on.
    Gourry was busy exercising as well, being simultaneously attacked by
six or seven guys all carrying swords longer than he was.  Lina stood on
one of the fenceposts, watching as her 'bodyguard' sliced each sword into
halves, then fourths, then eights... then caused enough minor injuries and
humiliations to the others to make them run away.  Because really, Lina and
Gourry weren't here to murder these guys... just encourage a swift career
change and confiscate their confiscated monies for the betterment of
hersel-- ah, for all mankind.
    "Need any help!?" Lina called, hopping to the side to avoid an arrow.
    "I'm fine, thank you!!" Gourry shouted back up, nicking a false
eyepatch off another one of the bandits.  Lina decided to give him a hand
anyway, scorching/freezing/blasting some of the bandits away from Gourry.
    Within minutes, and we're talking minutes you could count on one hand
if you had your thumb surgically removed, the battle was over and the keep
was theirs.  Lina hopped down from her observation post, her wings opening
just momentarily to allow her to flutter to the ground, before going away
again -- she'd been practicing with them lately.
    "Is there anybody left?  I could use some coffee," Lina commented,
glancing around.  She spotted the mess area (which was a mess, pardon the
pun) and wandered over, in search of warm beverage.
    Motion caught her eye.
    Lina blew the table away, shattering it against a far wall, revealing
the cowering form of Skeleton Badass.
    "Hello!" Lina smiled.  "Are you the leader of these guys?"
    "No?" Skeleton Badass guessed.
    Gourry wandered up, turning the Looming Spectre of Impending Bodily
Harm effect on full.  "What do you want to do with him, Lina?..."
    "I'm sorry!!" Brian babbled.  "It was a stupid career move!  I should
have never left my accounting firm, I just wanted some respect and I didn't
want to be burned alive at the hands of the Enemy of All Who Live, Lina
Inverse!  Oh, god, have mercy!  PLEEAASSEE!!!"
    "You're an accountant?" Lina asked, confused.
    Brian handed her a slightly crumpled business card.  It had several
acronymized degrees after his name.
    Lina studied it a moment, gears turning... and she shrugged.  "Eh, let
him go."
    Seventeen statements of thanks were compressed into five seconds, and
Brian was up and running, out of the nearest hole in the fence, possibly
never to be seen again.
    "You let him go?" Gourry asked.  "I thought you always said 'no mercy
for the bad guys...'"
    "I don't know... he just looked so helpless.  Like a kicked puppy,"
Lina said, having a seat nearby.  "Hrm.  Gourry, are you enjoying our
morning outings to clean the scum out of Sailoon?"
    "Sure," Gourry said, noncommittally.  He sheathed his sword, not
needing it for the rest of the day.
    "My thoughts exactly," Lina said.  "Bit of activity, a little
enjoyable, but... it doesn't have the same appeal.  I mean, these bandits
are people too, just very stupid evil people who deserve a good thrashing.
But does that mean we have to harass them constantly?"
    "Who are you and what have you done with Lina?" Gourry asked, stunned.
    "I never said I LIKED bandits," Lina said.  "Just that I'm not getting
the same kick out of kicking them I once did, you know?  What have we been
doing for the last two weeks, anyway?  Hanging around Sailoon,
investigating bandits, stomping them, getting rich, eating big dinners..."
    "But that's what we always do," Gourry reminded her.
    "I know.  And there's nothing wrong with big dinners and vast
quantities of cash.  Just feels like... there should be MORE, you know?"
Lina said.  "As careers go, this one's pretty repetitive.  Tiresome.
Uninteresting.  What we need is a big challenge.  I mean, a real test of
skills, of magic and swords and wits!"
    "I dunno, Lina.  Auntie always said it's a bad idea to ask for
trouble..."
    "I'm not asking for trouble, exactly, just... a little excitement,"
Lina said.  She paused, examining Gourry like a fine cut of beef.  "Hey,
you wanna go out to dinner tonight?"
    "But we always go out to dinner."
    "I mean GO OUT to dinner," Lina said.  "Like, socially."
    Gourry didn't get it, as was his lot in life.  "But we always GO OUT to
dinner like socially."
    "I MEAN... oh, nevermind.  Let's go get lunch, at least," Lina said,
getting to her feet.
    "Aren't we going to loot the bandit cave?" Gourry asked, pointing to
the hidden dark depths that might contain untold secrets and fortunes.
    "Naah," Lina said.  "We're so rich we don't have anywhere to put the
cash nowadays.  We'll come back and loot it later if we run low."
    Now Gourry was worried.
    This was a new way for Lina to act.  He'd gotten used to her occasional
bouts of depression and fake self-confidence.  He'd even gotten used to her
desire to hide away from her problems.  But he'd never seen her totally
uninterested in her usual hobbies, yet still smiling and carefree.
    Lately, Gourry had taken an exceptional interest in Lina's well being.
True, he'd always been her bodyguard, to keep her from being killed by
people and stuff, but lately he felt she needed... other types of
guarding.  Like keeping her happy, that sort of thing.  But this wasn't an
area Gourry had any formal training in, unlike swordplay.  So far, he'd
just been flying by the seat of his pants, trying to figure it out as he
went along, just working from gut instinct.  Aunt Koirry said that he
actually had a very well developed instinct, but Gourry couldn't tell.
    He knew better to invite trouble, but he secretly hoped something would
happen that would cheer Lina up.  No, she was already cheerful... something
that would satisfy her, then.  Something that would... oh, he didn't know.
He wasn't good with words.  He just wanted Lina to be well, and that'd have
to do for explaining it.
    "What do you fancy?  Saileese takeout, maybe?" Lina asked, summoning
her wings.  Gourry had gotten used to seeing them by now, the pair of
golden butterfly wings that Lina obtained during her last big adventure...
but he hadn't gotten used to her flying all over the place with them.
Lina's feet rarely touched the ground lately, unless they were in a city.
Walking was no longer an option for the sorceress on the go.
    "Do we have to... y'know, fly?" Gourry asked.  "I'm starting to get
vertical."
    "Vertigo," Lina corrected.  "What's to worry about?  With the wings, I
can put a Raywing flight bubble around you separately instead of using the
power on myself.  You're perfectly safe."
    "What if you get distracted?  I'd be a Gabriev pancake!"
    "Sheesh, Gourry, don't be so negative," Lina smiled.  "You know?  I bet
we're headed into some very interesting times."
    "That's good, right?"
    "Of course," Lina said, a brief look passing over her face of
seriousness.  "Hard to explain, but... I've got a feeling that--"
    A low hum came from Lina's waist level, and the inside of her cloak
started to glow a golden color... Lina glanced down, to see the hilt of her
butterfly-handled sword, flaring briefly with power.
    "What the--?" she said, feeling a rush of power through her... not
magic.  Magic had a feel to it that was distinct.  This felt more like cold
liquid gold, flowing upriver to her mind, down the back of her shirt, a
giggle, luck with drama and a myth and a paradox of weather with nightmare
implications spreading out over her wings in a fine coat contrary to
gravity...
    A harsh wind blasted across the land, disrupting the fair weather of
Sailoon.  Gourry changed his footing, to avoid being knocked aside in the
blast; Lina looked up, to see the clouds... move.  Sliding as if in gale
force winds, just a few moments, before going back to their normal slow
crawl across the sky.
    Lina lost her balance, world spinning like a top.  Gourry was there to
catch her, but she righted herself before he got there, the feeling
vanishing just as fast as it had washed over her.
    "Wh.. what was that?" she asked.  "Felt like a wave of something...
didn't the enchantment on this sword die off after I killed Nightmare with
it?"
    "I don't know any of that magic stuff," Gourry reminded her.
    "It's Talents, actually, but... I don't know any of it either," Lina
said, focusing on the single unusual thing to happen that day.  "Maybe we
should visit the palace and ask Reason.  She's still there, right?"
    "You shouldn't have wished for trouble, I think..."
    "Gourry, you can't just go 'I hope something interesting turns up' and
expect something interesting to turn up," Lina said.  "The world doesn't
work like that.  It's very ordered.  If--"
    The wind picked up again, but not from the weather.  A passing blur
shot over their heads, blotting out the sun for a moment, with the
downdraft of a gigantic pair of wings compressing the air... a tail shot
past them, the Gold Dragon flying fast, ignoring everything below it.
    "Da-Dr-DRAGON!?" Gourry exclaimed.  "What's a Dragon doing here?!
Lina, I thought--"
    "Right," Lina nodded, watching it go.  "Gold Dragons tend to stick to
mountains on the edges of continents.  They don't go inland and they don't
show themselves so obviously..."
    "How do you know so much about Dragons?" Gourry asked, curiously.
    "Well, you have to know these things when you're a sorceress, you
know," Lina said, proudly.
    Before Gourry could respond, a second shape slid through the air over
them.  A considerably less pleasant one, one with bat's wings, black
glimmering scales, and razor sharp claws on every hand and foot... and it
was chasing the Dragon.
    "Uh... that wasn't a Dragon, was it?" Gourry asked.  "Dragons look
nicer than that..."
    "That's it," Lina said, flapping her wings, hovering in the air.
"Enough freaking out.  I've GOT to go see what's up.  Gourry, wait here."
    "Wait?  But it could be dangerous up there!"
    "Exactly.  You don't like heights, remember?"
    "But--"
    "It'll just take a minute," Lina said, shooting up into the sky, and
flying off after the two beasts.

                                   [()()]

    There are few things as spectacular as a Dragon and a Mazoku, in true
form, having a mid-air battle.  The majestic blasts of power, arcing
through the sky like black lightning and white flame... the two winged
forms, circling and dodging and trying to get an edge on the other in
freeform dogfighting... it's a sight few get to behold in their lifetimes,
and rarely more than once.
    Because usually, anything nearby such a battle doesn't escape alive.
    "Did you think you could throw me from the hunt with that tainted
weather, Mazoku demon?!" the Dragon roared, hurling several balls of
whiteness towards his prey.  The Mazoku dodged, letting them harmlessly
impact against a mountain three miles away, causing a landslide.
    "Hey, I got knocked aside in that wind too, you cretin!!" the Mazoku
roared, in a voice like acid over flesh.  "You're the one that caused it to
throw ME."
    "Lies and trickery!" the Dragon howled.  "Today you end, foul lord of
the--"
    "TIME OUT!!!!"
    Both beasts glanced over at the funny human, then went right back to
fighting.
    Lina dodged, as a missed volley of darkness almost knocked her out of
this world.  Okay, maybe it wasn't going to take just a minute... something
to get their attention, something to... aha.
    She grasped the power of darkness, calling on one of the few rogue
spells that draws on the Lord of Nightmares.  "*LAGUNA BLADE!*" she cast,
pulling a lance of flaring darkness out of the air, holding it steady (with
much effort) in her hands.  She slashed through the Dragon's next attack,
canceling it completely, then spun and annihilated the Mazoku's waves of
darkness.
    Now they were ready to talk.
    "Stand aside, strange winged human," the Dragon requested, politely.
"I must destroy this beast of evil, lest its wrath be felt on your kind,
and on all the world."
    "Beat it, kid, we're busy," the Mazoku summarized.
    "Have either of you looked DOWN?!" Lina asked, letting her Laguna Blade
vanish.  "There's villages and forests and other easily breakable things
down there!  What are you doing fighting here, anyway?"
    "I am afraid a demon wind brought the battle here," the Dragon said.
"We could not resist its pull.  But fear not!  I will vanquish mine enemy
before too many of your kind are killed in the crossfire!"
    "Weird, but an acceptable answer," Lina agreed.  "Now.  WHY are you two
fighting would probably be a better question, yes?"
    The Mazoku grinned, teeth like nineteen inch long steak knives.  "You
don't know?  AHAHAHAHA!!!  Oh, you'll know sooner or later, kid!  Assuming
you live long enough!"
    Lina glared at the demon.  "What's that supposed to mean?"
    "The third Mazoku War is now on!" the Mazoku declared proudly.  "We
declared it today.  Tremble and weep, humanity!  The foretold moment is
here, and this time, we'll beat those Dragon saps and destroy the pillar of
the world!  It's the end, the end of everything!!"
    "Unless we stop you, as we have the last two times," the Dragons said.
"This will be no true war.  Fear not, human.  We will protect your kind--"
    Lina decided to fear instead of fear not.
    "WAR?!!" Lina boggled.  "Shaburanigdo got resurrected again?!"
    "Who needs him?" the Mazoku shrugged.  "We'll win this war without
him!  We've got the edge!"
    It's not every day you're told, without any dramatic buildup, that the
apocalypse had started while you were asleep.  What's more, she was told by
two mere footsoldiers in that war; and not very bright ones at that, ones
who just happened to blow through the area, so to speak.  Fortuitous timing
of bad, bad news.
    In the last Mazoku War, right before the Age of Wonders, almost 75% of
the human population died in the fighting.  Not that they did any fighting,
having no way to hurt either a Mazoku or a Dragon... they simply happened
to be in the way.  If it wasn't for the sudden wave of magical genius in
the aftermath, humanity would never have pulled itself out of the anarchy
and ashes and rebuilt civilization.  Given how stale magic had gotten in
the current day and age, and given how much more of humanity there was...
tomorrow didn't look pleasant.
    But it didn't make sense.  Lina had killed two of the Mazoku Lords,
generals to Shaburanigdo; and if the Demon King himself wasn't resurrected,
how were they hoping to win?  None of this made sense...
    She should probably be running.  They'd stop this chit-chat and start
back up again soon, or turn on her.  Stupid as the Mazoku were, they'd
cause a lot of damage on the way down.  She should be finding a good spot
to hide for the next few years, if there really was going to be a war to
end all wars.  Those are all things she should be doing...
    An idea struck her, source unknown -- no, source clear.  It came in a
rush of power, similar to the one she felt when the weather changed.  And
suddenly : Lina knew what she REALLY should do.  She cleared her throat,
ignored the suicidal insanity of what she was about to say, and continued
to address -- or rather, order -- the two beings.
    "Fine!" she declared.  "But you're going to go fight somewhere else,
got it?!  There's people down there who don't want to have any part in your
stupid war.  And--"
    "Mazoku fight where they want to," the Mazoku said, puffing out its
scaly chest.  "Your little insect pals will all die anyway once we win, and
end the world.  What're YOU gonna do to stop that, pathetic mortal?  I
laugh at your--"
    Lina had had enough.
    "*ULTRA RESTORATION!!*" she cast, linking a white string between
herself and the Mazoku--
    And moments later, the Mazoku started to fall apart, heavily wounded,
smoke rising from burns all over its body.  It shifted down to a more
humanlike form, easier to maintain, and tried to staunch its bleeding.
Coughing, it glared evil flaming hatred with loathing on loathing at Lina.
"You'll regret that!!" he shouted in an obligatory way, and vanished,
teleporting to a safer location.
    Lina felt a wall of fatigue hit her.  That was a strong Mazoku... one
dose of the strongest white magic wasn't enough to kill, simply cripple..
and it took everything out of her to do it.
    "Well fought, human," the Dragon congratulated, also shifting to a
common human appearance, to thank Lina on a personal level.  "I will pursue
and finish him off.  I thank you for your--"
    The rush tingled at the back of her mind again, reviving her
momentarily.
    "What I said applies to you too," Lina interrupted.
    The Dragon hovered in place, confused.  "What do you mean, good human?"
    "Keep this garbage away from my people," Lina said, realizing how
cheesy 'my people' sounded.  "You know how many folks died last time you
two tangoed?"
    "We preserve life," the Dragon said.  "Any casualties are
unintentional.  We do our best--"
    "Try harder," Lina said.  "You're so hot on being our friends, prove
it.  Because we're not going to put up with it the way we have before.
We'll defend ourselves from Mazoku AND Dragons if we have to.  Understood?"
    The Dragon's heckles were ruffled by this.  Patience and wisdom could
only carry it so far.  "Who are you, little human?  Who do you speak for
with such unusually direct tones?"
    "I'm Lina Inverse," Lina said proudly.  A tingle... more words.  "I am
Chaos of the Winged, Knight of the Lord of Nightmares.  And you can quote
me on that to your superiors.  In fact, definitely quote me.  Now, if
you'll excuse..."
    In dumb silence, the Dragon watched the winged human limp her way back
to where she came from.
    Briefly, it considered chasing after the Mazoku he was hunting, but
higher need tugged at itself.  The Council must be informed of this.
Turning, it flew straight as an arrow, back to the mountains.

                                   [()()]

    Gourry's concern was justified; Lina flew back to the ruined bandit
camp, pale and weak.  Quickly, with cunning speed and instinctive skill, he
calculated where Lina was about to land, and moved to intercept, to catch
her on her entirely-too-fast incoming run.
    "Don't worry, Lina!  I've got you!" he shouted reassuringly as Lina
flew two feet to the left, skimming right past Gourry and coming to a
crashing halt in the ruins of the mess hall table.
    'ow,' Lina said, picking herself uneasily from the wooden chunks.  "Bad
hands, Gourry."
    "Sorry," he apologized.  "I was never good at Throw The Ball back
home..."
    "I just did.. a very stupid thing.  Probably two very stupid things,"
Lina said, rubbing her head and opting to sit down for awhile.  "Brace
yourself, Gourry : apparently, while nobody was looking, the Mazoku
declared war.  We're all going to die and the world's going to burn.  It's
time for the apocalypse."
    Gourry nodded.  "So?"
    Lina wobbled.  "So?  SO?!  Don't you remember the history lessons I
gave.... no, nevermind, you don't.  Let's just say a lot of really powerful
maniacs are going to come tearing through here soon and we need to RUN.
Those two just happened to be knocked off course, but there'll be more
within days!"
    "Oh.  That's bad," Gourry agreed.  "But.. what were the two very stupid
things?"
    "I whipped the Mazoku and sent it running home, then practically
declared war on the Dragons," Lina groaned.  "I don't know what possessed
me to do that.  It just felt... right.  Stupid, but right."
    "You should always do the right thing," Gourry recited.
    "Not when the right thing puts your whole species at risk!  Not that
they weren't before, but..."
    "What do we do now?" Gourry asked.
    "What else can we do?" Lina said, getting up, dusting off her wings.
"Get to Sailoon and warn Amelia that her country's at ground zero!  Then,
I'd suggest we find a really good place to hide, preferably one that's
heavily armored..."
    "We're not going to fight?"
    "Us?  Fight THEM?  Both of them?" Lina asked.  "Are you nuts?  Look, I
may be pretty hot stuff with magic and you can swing a sharp bit of metal
around, but we're talking about megapowerful beasts from the dawn of time
here.  Even if we had an army of sorcerers, or a bunch of heroes with
legendary powers--"
    "We do, though."
    "Since when?"
    "Since that day back at the palace, remember?" Gourry said, being
remarkably fast on the uptake.  "Those wing people are yours to command,
that god lady said.  Sooo... we've got heroes with legendary powers.
Right?"
    "I can't ask them to fight in this!" Lina said.  "It's not our war,
even!  It's a Dragon and Mazoku thing--"
    "Which a lot of people could get hurt in, right?" Gourry said.  "So
we're involved the war."
    Lina eyed him suspiciously.  "You know, you're taking this whole 'end
of the world and we're all in horrible danger' thing remarkably well.  Even
I can admit this is not good news and I'm spooked.  How are you managing
it?"
    "It's just a war," Gourry shrugged.  "The Gabrievs have always fought
in wars, one for every generation, so we're used to them.  We're good
swordspeople and stuff."
    "I don't think they're going to be using swords--"
    "My point is," Gourry continued, "Even if you're not going to fight in
this, maybe you can organize the winged guys to help DEFEND people.  That'd
be a good thing to do.  Then less folks have to get hurt by the time it all
ends.  It seems simple to me... weren't you saying you wanted something
interesting to do?"
    "I didn't mean a THIRD MAZOKU WAR!  I just meant--"
    "Maybe it's not what you meant, but it's what's happening," Gourry said
nonchalantly.  "So we'll just have to deal with the war, somehow.  It's a
nice day for it, at least.  Right?"
    Lina just... stared at him.

                                   [()()]

    Some say that the mark of an intelligent man is that he knows his
limitations.  Others say that the best men have no limitations, or push
beyond the ones they have.   Still others claim that the finest men in
history are ones whose limitations are unknown, remaining... ah, forget
it.  Zelgadis knew when he was licked and had no problems admitting it; he
was at a loss as to how to heal this girl he had found in the caves.
    His specialty was Shamanism.  While it was terrific for gathering and
controlling the elements, it was lousy for healing.  The best he managed
was to hydrate the woman, improving her health somewhat, but she was in
this weird restless sleep and wouldn't come out of it.  Sweat actually
oozed through the cracks in her stone skin...
    That was the other thing that was stumping him.  She was a chimera.
Probably a mix of a golem and a blue demon like he was, in fact, right
down to the hard candy shell and purple hair.  As far as Zelgadis knew,
he was the only humanoid chimera in existence; there were some wild
chimeras, strange beasts with three heads or six arms that smelled bad as
a result of having no underarm deodorant, but they didn't count.
    When Zelgadis snuck the girl back to his inn, he had to use his cloak
as a blanket, to prevent anybody from seeing her skin.  Pleasantville, the
dinkwad suburban community he was hiding out in, had been a bit twitchy as
of late; only recently, someone had discovered a plot inside the post
office to blow up the town following a strange wave of fighting and
hatred.  Things were getting back to normal, but everybody stayed on their
toes.  The last thing they wanted to see was some monstrous chimera in
their midst, even if he paid his inn bill and bought food and generally
contributed to the community, which just goes to show.
    He spent the night trying to work up some magic that could heal her,
but didn't have what it took.  That's okay.  He knew someone who did, and
figured she'd still be where he left her, in Sailoon.  Amelia was well
trained in white magic and would know what to do.  Zelgadis kept the
chimera girl in his room to make sure she would be okay, and slept on the
floor, clocking himself to snooze exactly six hours.
    He woke up four hours later.
    An explosion rocked the inn, knocking things off shelves and onto him.
Zelgadis woke and got alert fast, no time to dally around yawning.  Stuff
was happening.
    He went to the window, looked out, and saw that most of Pleasantville
was on fire or blown to smithereens or both, and the three dueling monsters
causing the mess were coming this way.  Screw walk, do not run to the
nearest exit; he made his own exit with a controlled fireball, scooped up
the girl, snapped a bubble around himself and flew out to safety.
    If there could be safety.  He could see through the smoke and haze now,
as a gold Dragon battled it out with two Mazoku, from the looks of it.
That was weird.  (An understatement, but Zelgadis would panic later, when
it was more convenient.)  What on earth were they doing here?
    Quickly, he flew back to the cave ruins outside town where he had
originally found the girl, using them for shelter.  Briefly he considered
doing something against the attackers, but what could he manage?  Ra-Tilt
tended not to work on strong Mazoku, and you don't want to attack a
Dragon.  They were almost the good guys... except for the time he went into
the future and they were totalitarian dictators, of course.
    Besides, he didn't have time.  The two Mazoku teamed up, creating a
ball of darkness the size of a small mountain, and pasted the Dragon with
it, smashing it -- and all of Pleasantville -- flat.  An explosive haze lit
up the area, and when the dust settled, a huge crater was all that remained
to mark the spot.  The two then raced off, moving on for some other
purpose, leaving the flaming wreckage of what was once the world's nicest
and most polite friendly town behind.
    A few survivors were crawling out of the wreckage at the edges of the
blast.  Others who had fled the city only now could gape in horror at what
happened.  Zelgadis, eerily, didn't feel one way or the other.  He'd had
some bad experiences in this town, for starters.  And besides, what could
he do?  What could any of them do after a couple big nasties came and
happened to crush your town?  The surviving humans seemed to mirror his
thoughts, standing around, unsure of what they should be doing...
    Right now, Zelgadis had a task he COULD do, he could take care of.  Of
course, it'd be a long, long ride back to Sailoon...
    A clinking sound drew his attention.
    Maybe it would have been a good idea to search the girl's pockets and
pouches earlier; then he'd have spotted the rather dented and rusty Sub Way
Token she carried.  What on earth was the girl doing with this thing? he
wondered, picking it up.  From what he understood, it was a key to an
ancient transportation system, that he'd only used twice to date.  But with
this... with this he could be in Sailoon and up to the palace in under an
hour.
    And for the best.  The way these people were, chances were they'd take
some potshots at him.  He was a monster, after all, and didn't a couple of
monsters just pass through here?

                                   [()()]

    All over the world, the word was the same : War.
    Some hadn't seen any actual action yet.  Some had been a little too
close and it was the last thing they saw.  Nobody remembered what the last
war was like, since it happened hundreds of years ago, and nobody was alive
now who had been in it... at least, nobody human.  Some towns armed
themselves with any weapons they could find, figuring maybe they could
defend their homes; usually these people had only heard of Dragons or
Mazoku in children's stories.  Others hired sorcerers to keep the town safe
in the weeks to come, only to find these magicians had taken the money in
advance and then headed for the hills, which was starting to look like the
only sensible thing to do.
    In actuality, although the war was becoming common knowledge at
incredible speed, not very many battles were being fought.  After all, this
climactic struggle between good and evil had only started about eight hours
ago.  Mostly all you had was widespread rumors, fanatic disbelievers, panic
and paranoia, no real focus, nothing to shoot at.  But in remote places,
away from the major cities or communication routes, you'd hear the same
thing.  War?  What war?  And sometimes : What's a Mazoku?
    In the the world of dreams, the occupants had heard of Mazoku, but they
hadn't heard of a war yet.  Some explanation is needed as to why this is.
    Everybody passes through the world of dreams while they sleep, but
until recently, nobody lived there.  There were originally eight occupants,
but they were evicted by their landlord for not following the contract --
the Palace of Chaos, home to the original wingless (now winged again) had
gone into horrible disrepair since then.
    When the latest tenant arrived -- a priest by the name of Xelloss -- he
was quite dismayed at the state of the palace.  Most of it had fallen into
shapeless matter, leaving entire wings of randomly appearing and
disappearing rooms, as sleepers wandered here and there, lost and
confused.  But since then, he's had a week or two to tidy up, and has made
a support crew of his own out of the raw dreamstuff; adorably nasty little
daemons, running tasks here and there, re-wallpapering the place and
generally getting the world of dreams up to code.
    Despite all this efficiency, news in this place only gets updated every
night, when humanity sleeps.  It's gathered by the tiny daemons, who crawl
inside their brains and kill them -- WAIT!  That's not entirely true.
Xelloss had rather harshly punished the last daemon to do that, and since
then, they had stuck to the task he created them for, which was information
gathering.  And sneaking smoke breaks when New Nightmare, Xelloss's
professional name, wasn't looking.
    Right now, New Nightmare had a houseguest.  The two were in Xelloss's
parlor, his favorite room of the palace -- quaint, tasteful, quiet.  Both
were sipping tea, and engaging in the game of kings and nobility.
    Xelloss slid a piece off to the left.
    "Check," he announced, smiling.  He always smiled.  Even when he was
losing.
    "Uhhhh..." his guest said, not smiling.  "How does the horsey thing
move again?"
    "Honestly, Myth-chan, you'd think you've never played chess before,"
Xelloss sighed.
    "I haven't."
    "You haven't?  You've been alive since before time was time and you've
never played chess?"
    Myth looked sheepish.  "I don't usually play games.  Paradox and Drama
like them, though."
    "Yes, but Paradox is still angry at me over that whole nasty incident
at his former home," Xelloss reminded.  "And Drama takes entirely too long
to plan his moves.  He covers it up with speechmaking and heavy-think
posing, but I think he has trouble remembering how the horsey moves as
well..."
    "Is this all you do up here?" Myth asked, looking around.  The parlor
was poorly lit, but had enough light to make out the bookshelves, pool
table, tea set, and so on... "Play games and relax?"
    "Oh, this is just my day job," Xelloss said.  "At night I'm quite
active terrorizing people and so on.  I do love not requiring sleep, it
makes life so much more productive... why are you looking at me like that,
Myth-chan?"
    Myth got slight shivers.  "Could.. you not call me Myth-chan?  It's
just this thing, I mean..."
    "Ahhh," Xelloss said, recognizing.  "Still not quite over your fears of
my predecessor.  Don't worry, Myth.  I assure you that our work together
will be pleasant and beneficial to all."
    "Work?  But... we don't work together," Myth said.
    "Ah, but don't you recognize the parallels?" Xelloss asked, sipping
from his teacup.  "You are the positive of stories, I am the negative.
Well, I'm currently hired to be the negative, although I'm working on
making it official by some means... just because Nightmare has been
something of a bastard lately doesn't mean I'll be, you know."
    Myth sighed.  "Can I be frank?... I really don't want to work with you
on anything.  I know, you're not him, but.. I'm just not comfortable with
this yet.  I'm sorry..."
    The priest-turned-rent-a-wingless thought it over, and nodded.  "Quite
alright, quite alright.  Perhaps another time... hello, what's this?"
    A tiny red daemon clawed its way up Xelloss's chair, hissing in his ear
in a language Myth couldn't understand.  Xelloss nodded, and flicked it
away with his finger -- the daemon hit the floor and scampered away.
    "Seems there's trouble brewing outside," he said, rising.  "Big
trouble.  Three reports in of dreamers imagining the same city being burned
to the ground, and two more with identical dreams of different village.
I'd better go attend to these nightmares, see what I can see... perhaps a
few nudges in terror here and there will yield more secrets, mmm?"
    "Umm... good luck," Myth said.
    "Stick around, ne," Xelloss suggested.  "You might be needed.  I trust
my hunches, and you know what they're saying right now?..."
    Myth swallowed.  "What are they saying?"
    "Can't say, it's a secret," Xelloss smiled, waggling a finger.  He
melted into darkness, one of his many new tricks, and flowed through the
cracks in the palace brick, on his way to someone's dream.
    Myth couldn't resist another shiver.  He was so polite, and never
seemed to menace, but.. she wasn't happy with this.  Wasn't happy at all.

                                   [()()]

    Zelgadis decided to start an exercise regimen the minute he had some
free time.  Assuming he'd have some free time in the foreseeable future.
    The girl weighed a ton.  Stone skin would do that, but the effort
required to keep that much dead weight going without magic was
intolerable!  And he didn't have a choice, since he didn't want to approach
Sailoon City by air; the last thing he wanted was a few arrows shot at him
for being a flying menace, especially not after today's events.  He pulled
up the mask on his cloak, did his best to wrap the girl in a spare cloak,
and get her through the city streets.
    Bad idea, in one way; good idea in another
    The guard came right away, wondering why a mysterious masked man was
dragging a limp body through the streets.  Zelgadis was about ready for a
fight, when he realized he could use this to his advantage.
    "I've got a foreign dignitary here," he lied.  "She's badly hurt, but
I'm her escort to the palace.  We need an audience with Princess Amelia
immediately."
    "Sure, pal, and I'm the Egg Hiding Day Kangaroo," the guard joked.
    Zel was going to push the issue or try a few more fast-talking scams,
when he realized it was more effort than it was worth.  "Okay, we'll play
it safe.  Send a message up to the castle saying that Zelgadis needs to see
the princess, and it's an emergency.  Let HER decide."
    The guard was about to turn Zel away again, but looked up at the lovely
weather, and gave a shrug.  "What the hell, it's a slow day.  NORD!"
    The runner was off.  Zelgadis waited, and assembled the day's events
while he had the chance.
    First of all, he got to see some Dragons and Mazoku tangling in public,
in a really violently obvious way.  That wasn't the way they worked, to his
knowledge; more often they were attacking.. well, him and Lina's groupies,
but that didn't count.  Second, here he had this chimera woman who had a
Sub Way Token that hadn't seen use in a long time and had told him... what
were the words again?  Something about needing to find some wings.  And
there was that strange cave painting he dreamed of seeing, where a chained
goddess turned chimeras into humans... waaait, there's a connection he
didn't think of before.  If there was an entrance to a series of caves
below that painting, and he found this chimera in the caves...
    The runner returned, sweaty and exhausted, and Zelgadis was escorted
quickly into the castle.  He'd have to finish that line of thought later.

                                   [()()]

    Lina wasn't the least bit worried about being shot down on her approach
to the palace.  By now, the tower guards were used to seeing her fly
around.  She got over the embarrassment of showing off those wings a long
time ago; they felt natural to her now, and if anybody stared, she could
stare right back -- harder.
    Gourry kept his eyes closed the whole way to the castle, trying to
ignore the impossibly thin bubble of magic that was the sole thing between
himself and a short, sharp demise hundreds of feet down...
    "Are we there yet?" Gourry asked.
    "We're safe, scaredycat," Lina said, letting the spell go, and dropping
Gourry gently on to the bed in her room.  Gourry opened his eyes, saw a
floor, and felt much relief.
    "Head to your room and pack up all your stuff," Lina said, grabbing her
own travel bag.  "Once we tell Amelia what's up and get word to Xelloss
with orders for the winged, we're OUT of here."
    "Why?  Aren't we going to help them with the war?" Gourry asked.
    Lina groaned.  "How many times must I explain this?  We can't DO
anything.  Maybe you could smack down a few Mazoku with your sword, and if
I really drain myself each day I could also do some fighting, but chances
are pretty high we'd just end up a thin paste across the landscape if we
tried.  The winged have enough power, let them handle it."
    Gourry frowned.  "It's not right to run away when people are in danger,
Lina.  And since when are you afraid of danger?"
    "Danger?  Never.  Spectacularly gory demise?  Quite often," Lina said.
"And if that makes me a yellow bellied coward, then just call me Lemon
Inverse."
    "Auntie always said lemons weren't proper for good girls," Gourry said.
    Lina paused.
    "I don't get it.  Did she say why?"
    "Uh... no.  I never understood it either."

                                   [()()]


    Papers sat on papers on top of papers next to papers beside stacks
of papers which were organized into clumps of papers that were starting to
spill onto the floor.
    But Dayvid insisted that this new method of office communication was
going to be more efficient than messengers... once he got the system
working.  He'd been laying 'Noo-Matic' tubes all over the castle, and soon
the THUNK! sound of a message shooting through the tube was becoming as
common a sound as the BLAM! sound of one of those tubes exploding.  Sailoon
was moving into the modern age, whether it wanted to or not.
    Right now, Dayvid and Amelia were plowing through the daily load of
messages, trying to approach them in a sensible, organized manner.
    "Okay, from the Old Business pile..." Dayvid said, pulling a random
paper from the peat-moss compressed layers of back work.  "The roofing on
the royal guardhouse is starting to leak."
    "Really?" Amelia asked.  "I heard the other day from Ms. Madigan that
the roof had collapsed a week ago."
    Dayvid scanned the header again.  "Oh.  This was dated from... two
weeks ago.  Don't worry, I'll put a request for a request to gather
appraisals from new builders onto the New Business stack.  Now, as for--"
    The doors burst open, and the Royal Trumpeter blasted three shrill
almost melodic notes.  Amelia covered her ears in pain.
    "Announcinge visitores fore your royal majesty!!" the trumpeter
screamed, since he was almost deaf.  "Lina Inverse ande Gourry Gabriev!"
    "Can we go in now?" Lina asked.
    "Now you can," the trumpeter confirmed, taking leave to go announce
other comings and goings in the palace.
    "Hieee!!!" Amelia cheered, running over to them and knocking over six
piles of carefully organized work in the process.  She glomped Lina into a
big 'ol hug!
    Lina's spine bent.
    "It's good to see you!" Amelia smiled.  "I hear you've been defeating
bandits in Sailoon.  That's the spirit, Lina!  Through the power of
justice, we will make this world safe from danger!"
    "Ano, I think she's not supposed to be blue," Gourry said, pointing to
Lina.
    "Hmm?  Oh, sorry!" Amelia apologized, letting Lina go.  She bounced
back to her desk, and had a seat; her princessly tiara being the only thing
visible over the In Box.  "So!  What brings you back?"
    "war," Lina choked, pounding on her chest a few times.  "The Third
Mazoku war is on and this whole region's going to turn into melted slag in
a day or three."
    "Oh, that's New Business," Amelia said.  "First we have to do Old
Business.  You need to go through the proper channels.  Don't worry, we'll
be done with the current requests in a day or three!"
    Dayvid, who had a better grasp on the situation, went white.  "Uh.
Um.  War?  As in, like, the historically bad big war?"
    "The same," Lina said.
    "Now now, it's very important that we follow our new system of
organization," Amelia interrupted.  "Dayvid's very proud of it and I'm sure
it'll be beneficial for everybody, as it was crafted with love of the
people and therefore can never go--"
    A fireball incinerated all the paper on the desk.
    Lina lowered a smoking hand.  "HELL-OOoo!!  Amelia!  Wake up and smell
the apocalypse!  We're talking about a global event here!"
    Realizing the princess could possibly explode any second now, the way
she was staring at the melted remains of her desk, Dayvid jumped to the
rescue.  "If she's right, Amelia, this is bad stuff.  Um .  The rest can
wait and I don't think it'll lower efficiency by that much.  Okay?"
    "Oh, okay," Amelia said, going right back to cheerful.  "If it's okay
with you.  So, what kind of a war is this?"
    Lina explained.
    "AAAAA!!!" was Amelia's response.  "THAT war?!  The Mazoku and Dragons
are gonna fight and try to destroy the world?? When did this happen?  Why
wasn't I notified?"
    "I.. think I saw something like that in the New Business pile," Dayvid
admitted.  "Erm.  I think I'll redraft the standard operating procedures.
Later.  Much later."
    "We're doomed!  We're doomed!" Amelia ranted, waving her arms in a
blur.  "The end is nigh!  It's all--"
    "AMELIA!" Lina shouted.
    "...yes?"
    "I've got a plan," she said, quietly, calmly.  "At least, an inkling of
a plan.  Can we borrow the Great Hall for a war council?  You can help
out... ah!  Perhaps... (ugh) the spirit of love and justice can overcome
this horrible situation!  Yes, Amelia, you indeed can help lead the charge
against evil, and together, we will WIN!"
    "RIGHT!" Amelia cheered, standing on the ruins of her desk so she'd
have a better position to make a speech from.  "Together we'll defeat the
dark menace that rises before us, and bring love and joy to all of
humanity!  Evil dare not stand before us, for the vengeance of heaven is--"
    "Anyway," Lina said, coming back to planet reality, "We'll just nip off
to the hall and get things organized--"
    The proceedings were interrupted by another series of noises like a cat
stuffed into a trombone.
     "Announcinge visitores fore your royal majesty!!" the royal announcer
repeated, having returned to the scene of the crime.  "Zelgadis Greyweirs,
andde friende!"
    "Hi," Zel greeted truncatedly, wandering in with a girl draped over his
shoulder.  He shoved stacks of papers off a nearby table and onto the
floor, then finally got to relieve his burden by lying his friende down.
    "Uh.. hi," Lina said, watching.  "Long time no see... who's that?  What
are you doing here?  How are you?  And, um, how's it been?"
    "I don't know, I need Amelia's magic, fine considering I had to run
from a few Mazoku, and it's been rotten," Zelgadis counted off.  "Any more
dumb questions or can we begin?  I just had to carry this person across
several thousand miles and deal with snotty gate guards, so I'd like to get
to business."
    "Boy, Zel hasn't changed a bit," Gourry commented to Lina.
    Amelia got up, and examined Zel's new find.  "Ano!  She's a chimera
like you!  Wow!  That's really neat!"
    "She's also pretty near death, from what I can tell," Zelgadis noted
calmly.  He'd had a while to get used to the idea.  "Can you do anything?"
    Amelia spread some white power over her hand, and swept it above the
woman, concentrating... "I think I can.  It's just a fever disease.  It'll
take a little while..."
    "I'm in no rush," Zelgadis shrugged.
    "The third Mazoku war's on," Lina decided to interject.
    "I'm in a rush," Zelgadis stated.  "I'll wait here and then split when
you're done."
    "Meanwhile, I've got a war room to make in the next five minutes and
some troops to summon," Lina said.  "I'll be in the Great Hall if anybody
needs me.  C'mon, Gourry.  Zel, remind me to fill you in on our recent
madness.  Interesting stuff."
    "I'll be too busy seeking cover, but thanks for the offer," Zelgadis
said nonchalantly.
    "With her?" Lina asked, gesturing to the chimera...
    "'course," Zelgadis said.  "Unless she slows me down, or something..
you know."

                                   [()()]

    Lina found Xelloss tying small spiders onto a string.
    She wasn't used to the topography of the world of dreams yet.
Fortunately, Giga's Dream could be tuned to land you right near the person
you wanted to find... a trick Xelloss had found.  Or rather, instantly come
up with, as if he had designed the spell himself.  Lina had some sneaking
suspicions, but whenever she tried to ask him... well, the answer was to be
as expected.
    "Ah, Lina," Xelloss smiled, tying off the string onto a stick.  "Hang
around, I'm just crafting a small nightmare here.  Only take a second."
    Below them, in a stone room with no windows and no doors, sat some poor
dreamer... terrified and alone.  Xelloss didn't seem to mind, whistling
cheerfully as he puppeted the spiders, dangling them into the room-dream
and plopping them right on the man's head.  There was plenty of frantic
screaming and slamming against the walls, trying to get the spiders off....
then the man awoke, and the dream-room vanished.
    "Foo," Xelloss almost frowned.  "He always does that.  Here I am trying
to explain the symbolism of his parental fears through the eight legged
creatures they kept around the house and he refuses to face that.  Oh well,
perhaps tomorrow night.  Now, how can I help you?"
    "...interesting work," Lina said, unsettled.  She tore her attention
away from the puppets, which Xelloss was now putting away, and back to
matters at hand.  "We've got trouble.  The--"
    "Third Mazoku War, yes, I know," Xelloss smiled.  "It's going to be
quite an interesting time in the world for the next few years.  I'll have
my work cut out for me, being the New Nightmare, and all."
    "Wha.. how'd you--"
    "That is a secret."
    "No, nevermind," Lina said.  "I don't NEED to know how you know.  So
now you know.  You know?"
    "Oh, I know."
    "We've got to do something about this," Lina said.  "It's only a few
hours old and already there's probably a bloodbath out there.  Summon the
winged, bring them to the Great Hall at Sailoon... um.  You're not going to
have a problem with us turning on your.. former employers, are you?"
    "Why would I?" Xelloss asked, dusting off his hands.  "I'm human now.
I signed off on my last job.  I want to help you, Lina.  I'd like to prove
to be of great assistance to you, an invaluable resource, working together
on such things..."
    "And why is that?" Lina asked, looking suspiciously at him.
    "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," he grinned.
    Lina swallowed that.
    "I think you should stick to 'That is a secret,'" Lina suggested.
"That one's a bit too... morbid."
    "As you like it," Xelloss bowed.

                                   [()()]

    Zelgadis paced impatiently, pretending to examine the decor of the
state room.
    "How much longer?" he asked for the second time.
    "Almost done..." Amelia mumbled, through a magical haze.  Light flowed
gently from the table, as Amelia worked a complex healing spell.
    "Lina was serious, wasn't she?" Zelgadis asked.  "About another war.  I
saw some Mazoku beat down a Dragon on my way over."
    "Mmhmm," Amelia agreed, working.
    "I'd rather they have waited another few hundred years," Zelgadis
grumbled.  "Or better yet, just not had another war.  It seems so... stupid
that it'd be starting now.  And why is Lina organizing an army?"
    "There!" Amelia smiled, stepping away from her spell.  "She'll recover
in awhile.  Oh... didn't you know?  Lina's apparently got some kind of
Knighthood from the Lord of Nightmares.  She--"
    "What?" Zelgadis interrupted -- a pang of familiarity in those words..
    "She's the Knight of the Lord of Nightmares now after that last quest
she did to gather the wingless," Amelia summarized.  "I guess she figures
this is part of the job."
    ...three things, the keys, the spokes, the pillars of white, black and
grey in the middle, beings on top of each...
    "When did this happen??" Zelgadis asked.
    "Not too long ago," Amelia noted.  "Maybe a week or--"
    The woman on the table sat bolt upright, coming out of a deep sleep in
a big way.  "AAH!.. I have.. I have to... where am I?  What's going on?"
    "Take it easy, mou," Amelia soothed.  "You caught a fever.  We just
healed you.  You still need rest, though--"
    "I'm Above, aren't I?" she asked, looking at Amelia.  "You're a human!
What am I doing Above?"
    "I found you... Below, and you were sick," Zelgadis said.  "So I
brought you to a friend.  Who are you, anyway?"
    The chimera ignored Zelgadis's question, looking around.  "Is the
Knight here?  Have the winds of chaos blown in fortunate ways and brought
me to her, despite all hardships?"
    "Who, Lina?  She's downstairs in the Great Hall," Amelia said without
thinking.
    The woman didn't bother with saying goodbye; she was up and out the
door in the blink of an eye.

                                   [()()]

    Myth was busy trying to practice her storytelling skills in front of a
crowd of daemons when Xelloss notified her.  She took the news of the new
war just as Xelloss suspected she might; she fainted.
    Luck had a good craps game going back at her casino, and the house
stakes were at sixty million gold.  All breaths were held as she made the
next roll... and Xelloss appeared from nowhere to let Luck know what was
going on.  She missed the throw and put the entire casino into the
poorhouse, except for those large bags of gold that happened to fall off an
oxcart a few minutes later.
    Drama was busy getting fitted for a new suit of armor, since he felt
his previous one lacked an important, highly masculine feature that no
dramatic warrior should be without; nipples.  The codpiece was also too
small.  He vowed to pick up the armor when finished with whatever nonsense
Xelloss was dragging him into.
    Love and Loathing were busy doing some spring cleaning around Aunt
Koirry's house.  Love had been trying to improve Loathing's self esteem and
outlook on the world by immersing him in a good, healthy family
situation... the Gabrievs took to him easily, but he still had some
distance to go.  Burning down the town hall wasn't a good sign.  Love was
relieved to see Xelloss, as perhaps a little sibling bonding could be done
during the adventure.
    Paradox was in the bathroom with his robes around his ankles when
Xelloss came knocking.  Actually, Xel planned that.
    Reason was busy giving a lecture to a group of students at Sailoon's
only university about the theory of numeric magical matrix transformation.
They were soaking it up too slow for her tastes.  In quiet frustration, she
whipped out the chalk, solved the three blackboard wide equation and left
them to sort it out when she left with Xelloss.
    Chaos, or at least Lina Inverse, was busy trying to arrange eight
chairs around the great table in a way that would suit a war planning
council.
    "I thought these sorts of tables were supposed to be octagonal, like
those knights met at in the stories," Lina said.  "This one's just...
rectangular.  And too damn long.  We'll strain our necks trying to look at
each other."
    "War causes a lot of inconveniences," Gourry said, proud that he was
able to use that big word.
    "How do you know so much about war?" Lina asked.
    "Well, every generation--"
    "I mean YOU, personally."
    "My uncles talk about it a lot.  Dad, too," Gourry said.  "He was a
brilliant tactic guy in the last war Testabourne had.  But when he came
back, he talked a lot louder and longer than usual and made less sense.
Mom told me what went wrong, but I don't understand how seashells can shock
you."
    "You do know that in war people get killed in really painful ways,
right?" Lina asked.
    "Sure.  That's war," Gourry smiled.
    "Then how can you SMILE about it?!"
    "Gabrievs always survive wars," Gourry said.  "We're really good at
fighting them.  It's in the jeans."
    "You mean genes," Lina said, remembering the word from one of the many
boring papers she had browsed through in Dayvid's lab.
    "No, jeans.  See, it's an old saying, that the ability of a man's
fighting is related to the size of his--"
    A glowing portal opened from the world of dreams, and the procession
entered, right on cue.
    "Hello!  We're here to kick ass!" Xelloss cheered, waving a little
white flag he had taken from the dreaming that read GO TEAM GO.  He also
had a giant foam hand with one finger raised and a #1 printed.  Lina had
absolutely no idea what logical purpose it served.
    The other winged filed out; already the usual sibling arguments had
started, as they started to fetch chairs from Lina's hastily arranged war
council.  But clearly, Lina's presence had some effect; when she cleared
her throat to begin, everybody got quiet.  Eerie, she thought.
    "As Xelloss probably told you, the unthinkably bad happened.  The
Mazoku declared war today," Lina said.  "We're not going to be involved in
the fighting, but we should defend as many humans as we can.  You guys have
Talents you can use that are probably pretty useful against Dragons and
Mazoku, so... use 'em however you think would work best to keep the most
people from harm.  That's all.  Good luck."
    The group sat in silence.
    "Shoo!  Shoo!  Go defend," Lina said.
    "Umm.. that's not how war councils work," Gourry whispered to Lina.
"You need to direct them."
    "What do I know about directing an army?" Lina asked aloud.
    "Weeeellll..." Gourry said, thinking with visible effort.  "Anybody got
a map?"
    Paradox snapped his fingers and stole one from a mapmaker in Darata.
    "Thanks," Gourry smiled, and started pointing to spots on the map.
"Now, our best bet is to cover the largest cities.  That way we can cover
the most ground, since urban centers have the highest concentration of
population.  Plus, if we shoot for capitals or important trade cities, the
people in the rural areas and villages can flock there for evacuation and
shelter.  Then, we can maximize the number of people under protection while
minimizing the area we need to cover.  Sailoon City can hold a lot more
refugees and in a state of emergency, more room can be made; we should have
Amelia and Dayvid work the details, but given the large task, Reason
probably should help.  That okay?"
    "I'm on it," Reason said, starting to process the theoretical numbers
involved while Lina was unable to lift her jaw from the table.
    "Luck, hmm... you should probably just pick a city at random.  Knowing
you that'll take you right where you need to go."
    "I'll goooo........ here!" Luck said, stabbing randomly at the map.
    "That's over the ocean," Gourry said.
    "It feels lucky," the blonde bubbled.  "I'll take it anyway!"
    "I guess you'd know best, then... Aunt Koirry, you should probably
handle Testabourne, since you're well known there and with my family's
support can easily gather the people together in New Piper's Cove," Gourry
continued.  "You probably should take Loathing with you, since it's like
you guys work in a team.  Now, I don't know much of the geography aside
from that, but I've got a few ideas... Justivalero could probably benefit
from Drama, from what I know... Paradox, you've got a lot of power, so if
you could take on several of the smaller cities, things would be less
overloaded.  How's that with you guys?"
    "I will defend Justivalero with all the valor and courage of the most
glorious nights!" Drama announced.  "With noble steed and sword by my side,
as well as a healthy knowledge of the arts, white, black or otherwise, we
shall drive back all invaders!"
    "Who needs all that?" Paradox said, swiping Drama's thunder.  "Encase a
city in a bubble of hard reality, boom, nothing gets in.  I could manage
three... heck, FOUR.  And probably protect more folks than Drama could
manage with his stupid pointy metal thing..."
    "Is that so?" Drama said icily.  "I'll have you know--"
    "Moving on," Gourry continued, "The war likely will move around a lot,
so if you feel you should shift focus to a new city that's coming under
attack, check in first.  If it's an emergency situation, you can skip the
chain of command.  Myth... I'm not sure what you can do for defending, but
if you think of anything, go for it.  Otherwise, I'd say we should attach
you to our recon division.  Xelloss, you have access to the world of dreams
and can see a lot of stuff through it, so you and Myth should probably
handle all lines of communication between the others as well as keeping us
appraised of new events.  Maybe if you checked in every night when we're
asleep and did an update session, it would work well."
    Xelloss was terribly amused by Gourry's antics.  "Certainly, sir," he
said, snapping off a sharp salute.  "Forward the war effort!  Seig Lina!
Long live Big Sister!"
    "Uhh... work with..?" Myth asked.
    "Unless you have a better idea," Gourry said.  "And if you do get one
later, feel free to implement it after checking with Lina, since she's the
commanding officer in the war.  Right, Lina?"
    "Geh?" Lina asked, after a long pause.  She felt... bewildered.  "Wha?
Who?  Commanding what?"
    "Your troops, of course," Gourry said.  "They'll need your leadership
in the field."
    "Nobody said anything about being in the field," Lina reminded.  "I'm
only mortal here, you know?"
    "So are we," Love noted.
    "Yeah, but... I mean, what can I do?"
    "You've got the Giga Slave," Reason reminded her, entering the
conversation.
    Lina pulled at her hair.  "Are you nuts?!  I can't control it!"
    "Maybe you can now, with your new powers."
    "I don't HAVE any new powers!"
    "Maybe you just haven't recognized them yet," Reason reasoned.
    "Fine, fine!  I'll.. find something I can do and do it.  But I think
Gourry's plans for the rest of you are fine... um.  Good work, Gourry.  So,
are we ready to do this?"
    "No time like the present," Xelloss stated.
    "At least this time, we've got a pretty clear mission to accomplish,"
Lina smiled.  "Trust me guys, that's better than I usually manage.  We have
to save the world, of course, but we've got a plan to save it.  Now,
barring any wild, unforeseen problems popping up at the last--"
    As if the crazed pace of the discussion wasn't crazed enough, the doors
flew open and in walked a chimera.  Except it wasn't the one Lina was used
to seeing.
    "Which one of you is the Knight?" she asked, scanning the group.
    Xelloss helpfully held up a large blinking arrow-shaped sign over
Lina's head reading "KNIGHT".
    Lina looked up.  "Don't make me regret giving you your job, Xel."
    "Sorry, sorry, I just get a bit carried away," Xelloss smirked,
compressing the sign back into raw dreamstuff and shoving it deep into his
pockets.
    Amelia and Zelgadis came skidding around the corner, looking through
the doors for their prey.  Spotting her, they ran in, trying to talk some
sense into the woman.
    "Ne, you need to rest!" Amelia said, tugging on her arm.
    "She's busy," Zelgadis pointed out.  "Whatever it is can wait."
    The woman ignored them, and continued to approach Lina anyway, dragging
Amelia along.  "The Hi'Chi'Orld require your talents in locating the Most
Important Things In The World, Knight.  Will you accompany me?"
    The room fell into an awkward silence.
    "Umm..." Lina said, breaking the tension.  "Ten minute recess, guys.
Maybe I'd better attend to this."

                                   [()()]

    A small group gathered outside of the Impromptu War Room.
    "No, not happening, forget it," Lina said.  "I don't have time for a
quest.  I've already got a rather clear agenda that could occupy the next
few years of my life!  I don't know who you are or where you came from, but
I'm busy trying to run a war here.  So if you don't mind--"
    "The clasps have been stolen from my tribe," the woman said.  "Our
elder, Chi'Leas, has sent me to find the one human who could possibly help
us find them, the Knight of Chaos.  Without you, all is lost!"
    "That's very poetic, but it doesn't change the fact that this country
is going to be assaulted tomorrow," Lina said.  "Maybe after we take care
of this, assuming we're all still alive, I'll look into whatever it is that
you're going on about.  Fair?"
    Having taken it onto himself to participate in the discussion without
actually being asked to join them, Xelloss cleared his throat.
    "Now now, Lina, you're making a snap judgment," he warned.
    "Xelloss, we--"
    "What exactly is this a quest for again, miss?  And your name, please?"
he continued, ignoring Lina.
    "We must locate one of the Most Important Things In The World, embodied
in a pair of golden wrist clasps that my tribe once held.  They are part of
the ultimate power over all powers.  My name is Chi'Nai, Priestess of the
Lord of Chaos," the woman stated.
    "See, Lina?  Very Important, it seems," Xelloss said.  "It's even in
the name of the thing.  At least they didn't try to drape whatever it was
in The Mystic or The Legendary or so on.  Very direct, very honest, mm?"
    "We don't have TIME for this!" Lina protested.
    "Stolen, you say?" Xelloss asked, opting to ignore the sorceress
again.  "Does the perpetrator have a name?  What does he look like?"
    "They were taken by a human with the name of Luna," Chi'Nai said.
    Lina's eyes went wide.  "Big sister?!!"
    The chimera studied Lina for a moment.  "I can see the resemblance...
a woman claiming to be named Luna Inverse came as a stranger to our caves,
weeks ago.  She was malnourished and suffering the effects of a long
journey Below, and being good hosts we helped her back to health.  However,
despite weeks of friendship, she must have tricked one of ours into helping
her steal the clasps from my father... I fear I do not have enough time for
explanations.  We have to hurry.  The elder priest can explain more than
me, but if we don't make the journey, all will be lost!"
    "What did this Luna look like...?" Xelloss asked.
    Lina sighed.  "Purple hair, huge bust, waitress uniform, smiles a lot."
    "What?" Chi'Nai asked.  "No, she had black hair."
    "Did she happen to have a small, diagonally angled scar on her left
cheek?" Xelloss asked specifically, tracing the mark with his finger, at an
exact length.
    The chimera nodded in confirmation.
    "Hmm.  Very well!  I see no other alternative.  Better pack your bags,
Miss Inverse, you're going on a little quest," Xelloss nodded.
    Lina bonked him over the head with a conveniently handy marble bust of
Prince Phil.
    "I am NOT going on a quest!!" she shouted.  "I don't know this person
from... from someone I don't know at all!  This is way too sudden, too
stupid and I--"
    "I neglected to mention," Xelloss said, rising and continuing along as
if he didn't have a huge bump on his head, "But there's something very,
very important about this war that you have overlooked, Lina Inverse."  His
eyes were even open.
    Lina recognized one of the few times the trickster Got Serious.  "And
what's that?"
    "The Mazoku are crippled," Xelloss stated.  "Two of the lords are dead
and they do not have the demon king to lead them.  To start a war now would
be absurdly suicidal, and yet, they have.  The Mazoku are not absurdly
suicidal -- suicidal, perhaps, but with more intelligence than you might
suspect."
    "Yes yes, strange.  Now, what does that have to do with Lun--"
    "Which means, logically, that they MUST know of a hidden power that
will tip the balance in their favor despite the handicap," Xelloss
concluded.  "Something making them so assured of victory as to start a
hopeless war.  Something calling itself the Most Important Thing In The
World, say.... which seems to have recently been stolen by the Knight of
Shaburanigdo, according to our new friend here?"
    Lina paused.
    "Xel, I don't know where you're getting your information, but my
sister's the Knight of Ceipheed, not the Knight of Shaburanigdo," Lina told
him.
    "I've met the left hand of darkness once before," Xelloss said.  "Black
hair, scarred, as described.  Also, I know that she tends to enjoy using
your sister's name as an alias just to besmirch her opponent's record.  She
rarely does anything that we know about, since she works outside the main
Mazoku hierarchy... but if she's interested in Chi'Nai's family heirloom,
odds are the Mazoku are too.  And likely that's why they've started this
war.  If we just sit on the side ignoring this report and put cute little
umbrellas over the humans, we'll keep them alive for a few months or years,
likely.  But then it would all end."
    "Everything changes," Chi'Nai said, a plain tone of doom in her voice.
"The end is the beginning and the beginning is the end.  That's the
prophecy of the Most Important Things In The World."
    "Ah... I see!" Lina smiled.  "In that case..."
    She clobbered Xelloss again with the statue.
    "Why didn't you tell me this IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!"
    "...because it wouldn't be dramatic enough?" Xelloss grinned weakly, a
second bump appearing next to his first.
    "It's all conjecture, anyway," Lina said, tossing the bust aside.
"Some crazy comes out of left field shouting about some Important Thing and
you immediately assume--"
    "Know, Lina.  Give me some credit for knowing my former inferior
superiors."
    "KNOW, then, that the Mazoku already have it and are holding a WAR with
it?" Lina asked, through clenched teeth.
    "Already have it?... oh, of course not!" Xelloss said, aghast.
    "That's better.  If--"
    "If they already had it, we would not be breathing right now," Xelloss
said.  "You misunderstand.  Correct me if I'm wrong, miss, but this is only
one of those 'Important Things'.  Yes?"
    Chi'Nai nodded.  "A single part to the whole."
    "That means the Knight of Shaburanigdo will be looking for the rest.
It would have to be war-winning in order to be worth this mania, something
that inspires such confidence in the Mazoku as to let them start early.
And likely, they're calling the war early as a distraction to keep the
Dragons occupied; keeping them from noticing a single human via extreme
measures.  It sounds like the kind of overblown gesture they're famous
for... I suppose you play along with this ridiculous deception, but really,
Lina, you have to learn how to depend on your advisors if you're going to
be winning a war -- especially ex-Mazoku advisors."
    Lina's head was figuratively spinning from the implications.  "But--"
    "I realize the timing is bad, but that's exactly why it's happening, so
that nobody will look away from the war... including you.  But if you DO
hang around and help the winged fight the war," Xelloss noted, "You could
be killed.  And with no leader, regardless of how clever or resourceful
these nice people are, they will be demoralized.  Given that I can keep
communication and direction open from any location in the world, wouldn't
it be better for you and Gourry to head off and investigate this while the
others go into battle...?"
    Lina stared at him.
    "Just tell me in very, very simple words, Xelloss.  What makes you so
sure that all of this hokum is true?" Lina asked, quietly.
    "Ah..." Xelloss said, waving a finger in front of Lina.  "That is a
secret."
    Lina punted him down the hall, then turned to Chi'Nai.  "Assuming that
my communications officer isn't on drugs and that this wouldn't be a
glorious waste of time, how fast do you think we could take care of this
and get back?"
    "As fast as chaos itself wills it," Chi'Nai promised.
    Sighing, she felt defeated.  "Fine.  We'll just waltz away and go on
some ridiculous quest at the worst possible time.  I guess it's my life's
calling..."
    "Yes," Chi'Nai said truthfully.  "It is."

                                   [()()]

    The War Room was dripping with sibling rivalry when Lina entered
again.  Someone had started up a betting pool on who would be more
successful in the war campaign, Drama or Paradox, and the pot was up to
sixty five million gold when Lina broke it up.
    "Change of plans," Lina said, laying on the ultra mega compressed
summary of the day's events.  "You guys fight the war, I'll direct through
Xelloss, Gourry and I are going on a quest which could possibly involve
wild geese.  Any objections?  Not that it'll change anything, but I would
like to make sure we're all cool with this."
    Nobody reacted as badly as Lina was expecting.
    "We'll be fine," Love said, smiling softly as she played the reassuring
role.  "I'm sure whatever it is is quite important to merit the decision.
There'll be a world for you to come back to when you're done, we
guarantee.  Right, guys?"
    Nodding went all around the table.
    "I don't care where you're going, I'm coming with you two," Zelgadis
said.  "I've got unfinished research to do."
    "I wish we had more time for explanations, but I don't actually know
how to explain it myself," Lina explained.  "I'd advise you guys to take
the Sub Ways to your respective assignments as Gourry laid out.  Leave
right now; the war's going to spread fast.  Myth can ferry you if you don't
have a Token.  Check in with Xelloss each night when you're dreaming and
don't leave any details out.  Good luck, people."
    "Good luck to you too, Lina-sama!" Luck cheered.  "Good luck to
everybody!  Except Paradox."
    Paradox's chair picked that moment to come apart, the ancient glue
drying up completely.
    "HEY!" he shouted from the floor.
    The winged filed out quickly and orderly, chatting and arguing as
usual, heading off to the stone circle of the Sub Ways just outside of the
city.  Gourry went back to their rooms to pack, Zelgadis immediately
started interrogating the underintroduced Chi'Nai about some kind of cave
painting... but two people stayed behind.
    "Umm... Lina?"
    Lina looked away from the battle planning map.  "Yeah?"
    Myth seemed nervous, approaching her.  "I didn't want to tell you this,
because... well, it's not good to tamper with stories, but I thought you
might want to know..."
    The bardess showed Lina the book she was carrying.  It was titled 'Lina
Inverse and the End of Everything.'
    "...a work in progress," Myth added.
    "That's.. the story I'm in right now, isn't it?" Lina asked, getting
that sinking feeling.
    "Yeah, but.. keep in mind titles aren't... I mean, they're..." Myth
tried to cover.  "Look, I'm.. I'm a bit scared by all this.  Maybe I
shouldn't have shown this to you, I don't want you to be scared too, but...
I had to show SOMEBODY."
    Lina paused, trying to think of the best way to help Myth.
    "I'm not scared," Lina decided.
    "You aren't?"
    "No," Lina said.  "Because I don't have time to be scared.  This is how
my life works, Myth; one insanely weird experience after another, with
little breathing room and almost no time to pause and panic about what
might come next."
    "So.. how do you deal with it?" Myth asked.
    "Oh, that's simple.  You enjoy any food and fun you can get along the
way, make sure you're around friends, and if you survive it all you can
relax in an inn and reflect on how well it turned out."
    "But.. what if you don't survive it all?"
    "Then you don't need to worry about it anymore, do you?" Lina asked,
grinning.  "There.  Little home spun heroine philosophy for your book.  You
should also talk to Xelloss.  He's probably got his own ways of staying
happy, considering how much the bastard smiles.  Even when he's being
beaten severely."
    "I don't.. I'm not all that comfortable with him yet."
    "You don't have to worry about him.  Sure, he's backstabbed us in the
past, but I've got a hook on him now," Lina said.
    "A hook?"
    "A long time ago, I made him promise to leave if I asked him to.
Haven't cashed that in yet, but I'm sure he'll adhere to it if I use it.
And besides, he's mellowed out a bit," Lina said.  "Helps that he's not
working for the opposition anymore."
    "Unless he is," Myth said.
    Lina paused.
    "Whad'ya mean?"
    "Uh.. nothing, just... I mean, it's an old plot device," Myth said,
hesitant to explain.  "Double agents.  A staple of a mystery story.  I've
written a few of them.  Umm... but he's not following any of those gags,
right?  Not doing anything strange like suggesting you take unexpected
risks or be sidetracked, right?  Or withholding information, or telling you
big long explanations to make you do things you wouldn't...  Right?"
    "...right," Lina said.  "I think I'd better go check on Gourry.
Excuse."

                                   [()()]

    Mazoku have standard operating procedures, and one of them says that
if you're going to assassinate someone, the best time to do it is at
midnight.  It's symbolic of the death of a day, the darkest pitch of night,
the end of hours and of lives.
    That's why Bugger had taken to sleeping during the day and really,
really watching his back around the twelve chimes.  He wasn't stupid and if
he was going to survive, he'd have to imagine what he'd do if he wanted to
hunt himself down -- then go opposite that.
    The worst case scenario had happened -- of course it did, bugger it
all, of course it did.  Naturally, Zelas-Metallum heard from SOMEWHERE that
he was working with a Dragon and that he failed to stop Lina.  He did the
task Luna demanded, so she wouldn't have told; Dragons and their human pets
are honorable, if nothing else.  So who told her?  Nobody KNEW!  Nobody
except the folks in Lina's crew... and the only one of them who even knew
how to contact Beastmaster was Xelloss.  The little piece of trash was
probably a double agent.  Wouldn't it just figure?
    But where to throw the blame didn't matter, not when you're running for
your life.  Despite the war, which Bugger was also quite non-thrilled to
hear about, they had plenty of time and resources to keep hunting him
down.  Tonight they had sent an expert assassin after him.
    The slithering blue lizard's head extended from the confines of his
black robe, the magical crossbow aimed right at Bugger's heart.  Naturally,
Bugger had jumped into a dead end alley in the chase -- wouldn't you just
KNOW it?
    "Time'sssss up, Bugger," the Mazoku lackey hissed.  "Nobody
crosssssesssss the Beassssstmasssssster.  Esssspecially not sssome two-bit
lesssssser Mazoku like you."
    Bugger started to inch his hand towards the pocket on his overcoat...
the crossbow shifted and pumped a razor sharp arrow into his arm, severing
it before he could reach his dirt stocks.  He grimaced in pain, but tried
not to show it.
    "No goodbyesss," the lizard said, retargeting and firing.
    The arrow melted, hitting a disc of white magic, the two canceling each
other out.  Before the lizard could react, a similar disc slashed him in
half, top to bottom, and he vanished into a puff of moist air.
    Relieved, Bugger allowed himself a moment to have a spark of hope that
things were now officially looking up.  Until he did look up, and see who
had saved him.
    A waitress looks pretty out of place hovering in the air, surrounded by
a flaming white magical aura.  Unless you know why.
    "Oh, bugger," Bugger cursed.
    "Hiya," Luna Inverse said, landing and smiling most maliciously at him.
    "If you're here to whack me, gel, just know that I can reach into my
pocket with my other arm before you..." Bugger said, attempting to, and
being unable to do so.  "Well... I can bite your legs off, then.  See that
I don't."
    "Whack you?" Luna asked, surprised.  "Naw."
    "What is it this time, then?  Haven't you wrecked my career enough?
I'm a rogue Mazoku thanks to you!"
    "Good," Luna said.  "Work fer me."
    The Mazoku glared evil flaming horrible nasty badness at her.
    "Oh, gee, bang up job you did improving my life LAST time I worked for
you," he said.  He picked up his severed arm, remembering it, and used some
black healing to re-attach it.  "I hope you'll forgive me if I ask that you
kiss my ass, Knight of Ceipheed."
    "What else are you going to do?" a voice asked, from behind him.  A
female voice...
    Bugger whirled around, looking at the figure, who was leaning against a
wall, arms crossed.  One of her wings was white and fluffy, the other
leathery and batlike.
    "Angela," he recognized.
    "I'm in the same position.  A fallen Dragon," Angela sighed.  "Although
I'm not sure where a Mazoku can fall from, frankly.  Nowhere to go but up,
I'd suspect."
    "Who cares?  At least the Dragons aren't trying to kill you," Bugger
said, glancing at Luna.  "Got you working for their little human friend,
too."
    "Screw 'em," Luna politely said.
    "What my understated forced colleague means is that neither of us are
working for the Dragons anymore," Angela explained.  "They had... a falling
out, so to speak.  She works for Ceipheed only.  And we're on a quest,
although she refuses to tell me exactly what it's for..."
    "Tellya now," Luna said, grinning.  "Gotta team now."
    "Good for you," Bugger scowled.  "Lah dee dah.  So what's the deal?
MAYBE, and that's a damn big maybe, I'll tag along for kicks if it's
interesting."
    "Simple.  Gonna end everything," Luna said quietly.  "Ceipheed's
orders."
    He had to admit.  It had potential.  But...
    "Why's the Knight of Ceipheed planning to destroy the world?" Bugger
asked.  "That's our.. that was.. it's the Mazoku's job, not the Dragon's."
    "Not gonna destroy.  End," Luna said.  "Everything changes."
    "I don't quite understand," Angela remarked.  She considered her
situation.  "But I guess it doesn't matter.  Whatever."
    Bugger glanced askew at the Dragon.  "Gee, you seem happy to be on the
job."
    "What choice do I have?" Angela asked.  "I have nothing left in life.
All my power and glory are gone.  Luna's the only one who's interested in
my skills or even my continued existence.  I'll go along with it."
    "Now you're starting to sound like me.  I don't like that.  I'm me, not
you.  So who cares about Luna?  You could slum around, like I'm doing..."
    "Be safe with us," Luna reminded him.  "Safety 'n numbers."
    "Something tells me you two aren't going to be 'safe' to be around in
any respectable definition of the word," Bugger said.  Everything about
this smelled.  Luna was being tightlipped about it, and even if she did
save his ass from assassination a moment ago...
    He glanced over at Angela, and winced.  Some days, he knew, you just
LOSE.
    "Fine, fine," he said.  "I'll tag.  Just fer a little while, you
understand.  We'll see what happens after that, right?"
    "Right," Luna smirked.
    "So who we goin' up against?  Presumably there's some conflict 'ere,"
Bugger said.  "Otherwise you wouldn't need to recruit muscle like me."
    "Just the Knight of Shaburanigdo," Luna said.
    Bugger's heart would have sunk, if he had one.  Didn't it just figure?

                                   [()()]

     Somewhere far away, it was also near midnight.  But here, the
moonlight touched nothing.  Night is eternal in the cave kingdoms Below.
The few dwellers down here either were carnivorous and simple minded,
sleeping whenever they felt like it, or organized and adhering to a
standard 'sleeptime' that could almost be called night.
    She wasn't sleeping, however.  The last thing she needed were a few of
those simple minded carnivores looking at her and the chimera brat snoozing
away and thinking 'Yum!  Dinner!'.  Besides, she had a meeting to keep, and
she liked to be punctual.  Very punctual.
    In fact, the internal clock-spell she had kept running since she first
learned magic was approaching the midnight hour.  She timed the words of
her spell, so that the astral projection would arrive at its destination
right on the final tolling of the bell, the exact moment of meeting.  It
served two purposes.  One, it impressed anybody who knew how difficult
astral projection was, and two, it showed that she could leave herself open
like that and not care because she knew how bad it would be if you messed
with her, and you'd know too if you tried it.  Everything had an implied
reason.  But if you asked her, she'd tell you directly.  No sense in
playing stupid secret little games like the Mazoku play, when you can tell
them up front how you feel and what you're going to do.
    So when she arrived in the throne room of Beastmaster Zelas-Metallum,
she only allowed herself a tiny formal concession before falling into her
usual tone.
    "I greet thee, mistress of animals, of predators and beasts," she said
in a formal tone.  Then her posture shifted.  "We're still hunting down the
pieces, but the vision Shaburanigdo gave me is like a roadmap right to
'em.  I'm tracking the chain right now.  We won't have any problems beyond
basic cave monsters, and are making good time getting to the next
location."
    "That's the same report you gave last night," Beastmaster commented.
"Do you have no new progress at all?"
    "Moving around down here takes time," she said.  "Deal with it.  I'm
working as fast and as effectively as possible, Beastie.  You'll get the
power when I get to it, no worry.  How's the war going?"
    Beastmaster's feathers were ruffled.  She never failed to be insulted
by this foolish little human.  She could move, to crush her astral form, so
easily..... but the penalty would be harsh.  "The war is serving well.  By
hurting the humans, the Dragons are moving to intercept, and we have caused
them enough injuries to keep them hooked.  These play-skirmishes should be
maintainable for at least a month before we have to fully commit to a true
Mazoku War.  However... we were not able to distract the Knight of the Lord
of Nightmares.  She is moving to intercept you, leaving her absurd winged
friends to fight in the war in her stead."
    She frowned.  "How do you know that?"
    "That is a secret," Beastmaster smiled.
    "How do you expect me to get anything done if you don't give me the
information I need?  No, scratch that.  I don't need to know how," she
said, frowning the whole way through.  "The Knight won't be a problem.
I've been meaning to deal with her for a long time, anyway; and this time I
have a head start.  What about the Knight of Ceipheed?"
    "No word on her."
    "She'll be coming too, if she finds out what's going on," she
rationalized.
    "Perhaps if we sent you some aid...?"
    "I don't need help.  I can handle it," she said.  "I am the Knight of
Shaburanigdo.  By his dark hand I slash through history like a sword of
fire and destroy everything in my wake.  Trust me, Beastie... according to
what I've been told, it's all going to end, and I'll be there with my
finger on the button!"
    That was enough report for now.  Without asking for permission to
leave, the Knight of Shaburanigdo pulled her astral form back into place in
the astral plane, shivering from the displacement as her senses returned to
that cold, dark cave.
    It was bad news, the other two being on her trail.  But she was
expecting it to happen eventually.  Expecting it and wanting it.
    "It's about time, Lina Inverse," she said to herself, to the darkness.
"And this time, I'll be the one who's laughing, not you..."
    Her companion stirred in his blankets.  "Wh..?"
    "Shut up and get back to sleep," she ordered.
    The chimera sat up slowly.  "Can't... I wake up too fast," he said,
stretching.
    He was lying.  She glared at him.  "You need your downtime.  Rest."
    "I need it," he reminded her, smiling while trying to make it look like
he wasn't smiling.  "I can't get to sleep without it anymore.  You know
that, Luna..."
    Luna didn't sigh.  But she wasn't pleased.  But she couldn't get around
it.
    "Fine, but make it fast," she said.  "I'm suddenly feeling very tired."

                                   [()()]

    The moon rises over the village, a bright white, visible between the
buildings as it slinks its way along the sky.  Because that's what Brian
was doing; slinking around.
    He was chased out of the last village he went to.  The only clothes he
had were his bandit's uniform, and Skeleton Badass was no more.  Never
before had cost accountancy looked so good to him.  So nicely safe.  Yes,
he could see a bright, bright future for him, if he could just get into
some normal clothes so the local cops wouldn't try to haul him in for his
past career difficulties...
    He didn't know how to mug anybody, but that was the idea; find someone
his size, bonk him over the head and take his clothes.  Then he could check
into an inn with the little money he had handy, and maybe find a job doing
someone's books and finances the next day.  There was still money to be
made in finance, yes.  Things were looking up.
    The accountant formerly known as Skeleton Badass allowed himself a
smile of hope, looking around the street for a willing vict -- err,
volunteer, glancing up at the stars, seeing a huge ball of black lightning
come wafting his way, seeing...
    Wait a minute.
    BOOM.
    Brian was knocked to his rear, as an entire city block went up in dark
flames.  Windows in buildings miles around shattered from the concussion
wave...
    The gigantic lizard thing swept in a whirlwind over the town, doing
battle with another gigantic monster thing.  Another blast, and the lizard
was knocked to the ground, taking out a few structures with it.
    Cost accountancy was starting to look like a very unlikely way to live
out the rest of his life.
    The war was officially here.
    Professional running, now, that had a future...

                                  2b Continued