Received: from nak.berkeley.edu (nak.Berkeley.EDU [128.32.136.21]) by pg2-srv.wam.umd.edu (8.6.9/8.6.9) with ESMTP id LAA06783 for ; Tue, 13 Dec 1994 11:08:48 -0500 Received: from maillink.berkeley.edu by nak.berkeley.edu (8.6.8.1/1.40) id IAA25835; Tue, 13 Dec 1994 08:08:47 -0800 Message-ID: Date: 13 Dec 1994 08:07:08 -0800 From: "Richard Frankel" Subject: spork song To: "Stefan Twoflower Gagne" X-Mailer: Mail*Link SMTP-QM 3.0.1 Reply to: spork song _SPORKIE_ (To the tune of "Brandy") There's a sailor, in a coastal town He's unhappy and he wears a frown He's got a spoon and he's got a fork But he'd rather have his spork Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon But a good fork you'll never be But you're still my favorite utensil, out at sea There's a meal that he wants to eat He wants to scoop some soup and jab some meat There's a tool that'll set him free And Sporkie is her name Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon And a good fork you would be If your tines were a little bit longer, and more than three All the sailors get together to brag About their eating utensils and their seaman's bag But this one sailor, ridicules their forks And talks about his Spork Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon But a good fork you'll never be But you're still my favorite utensil, on the sea Stranded on a desert isle He's got his spork so he still wears a smile When the cannibals try to eat him up He kills them with his spork Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon But a bad fork you do be And an even more lousy ladle and slicer of cheese Out at night on a stormy day The wind is high and there's hell to pay Another sailor washes overboard But he dives in after his spork Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon But a good fork you'll never be But you're still my favorite utensil, out at sea Well he's lying in a watery grave But his spork he did manage to save Now he cradles her in his arms And keeps her safe from harm In the end, when he was old and gray Thinkin' 'bout the ones that got away A hundred ladies, a hundred ports But he always had his spork Sailor says Sporkie, you're a fine spoon But a good fork you'll never be But you're still my favorite utensil, under the sea --- written by Martha Conway, Christian Crumlish, Bruce Sherin, Richard Frankel, Briggs Nisbet and Miriam Sherin one warm summer day in the High Sierra.