Ranma 1/2 : March of the Pigs Part 9 (final) A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne (All characters copyright Rumiko-san, obviously. If I ever even considered claiming that these were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where I'd be forced to eat my own legs to live.) -=- And here I was thinking part eight would be the end. This is it, though, folks. See the end of the story for series wrap- up info and thanks. I could extend this to a ten parter and make for a nice round number, but there are only nine halos, and I've been keeping this silly nin pun going so far... To recap; Charlotte banished Ryouga and Akane into a dimension based on Ryouga's imagination so they could be alone together forever. Ranma admits he loves Akane, and Charlotte decides to give him one chance to see if Akane wants to return. Ryouga accepts that Akane doesn't love him, but vows to destroy Saotome to keep him from ending up with her. The two jump into a hole in Ryouga's mind, which leads them somewhere... darker... -=- "This is partly why the family doesn't use the ban-nan mirror anymore," Charlotte explained. "Sure, it makes for good picnics and weekend escapes, but in the wrong hands... say, Victor's... it can be extremely hazardous." "Can Ryouga really kill Ranma here?" Akane asked. "I mean, this is just a dream, right?" Charlotte pinched Akane. "OW!" "There are dreams and then there are dreams," Charlotte said. "I get the feeling that Ranma's really in for it this time. I've seen what Ryouga can do when he's mad or depressed... I hate to think how powerful he's going to be without the restrictions of the physical world." "We've got to do something!" Akane said. "I'm not just going to stand by and let Ranma get killed!" "Ditto. Ryouga could crush his own brain if he overexerts himself. I figure if he tries a roaring lion whatsit in here, it'll toast everything, including him and us." "So what do we do?" Akane asked. Charlotte thought. "Well..." she pointed to the hole. "You mean... go in there?" Akane asked, looking at the downwardly spiraling trench of Ryouga's hatred. Hideous, half formed nightmares lurked there, the thoughts you tried to keep hidden from everybody, including yourself... * (Soundtrack note : Mixes of various songs are needed here to enhance the mood... remove the lyrics and take the hard parts of Burn, Closer to God (coil remix) and Eraser for instance. One particular song won't do it... yet.) RANMA 1/2 : MARCH OF THE PIGS PART 9 (FINAL) : NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW Ranma tumbled down the abyss, mind reeling. Where was he? Was he in hell? Distorted shapes reached out of the walls, burning with malevolence, colored pus yellow and dark black. "SAOTOME!" cried a voice above him. Ryouga was diving, umbrella point first, directly at him. "YOU WILL DIE HERE!" A thousand arms reached out for Ranma, grabbing him and wrapping around like fresh tar. He was immobilized in the tube, straining against the forces of Ryouga's depression, being pulled apart at the seams... Ryouga swooped down, hovering just above Ranma. His eyes burned red with anger and sadness, tears of pain flowing freely. He pulled out the umbrella, opening it with a SNAP. "If she never has me, she'll never have YOU either," he said, spinning the umbrella in one hand. He made a slicing maneuver with it, but Ranma managed to wiggle away enough for the whirling umbrella edge to only cut his shirt sleeve. "Hold still and let me finish you!" Ryouga demanded, swinging wildly. His umbrella span, silver edge slicing through the rubber arms that held him in place, causing inhuman wails to erupt from the walls. Ryouga covered his ears in pain, letting the umbrella fall... cutting through the last of Ranma's bonds. Ranma rubbed off the remaining tar and free-fell, praying that the bottom wasn't covered in spikes or something like that. The bottom was covered in spikes. Ranma quickly examined the pattern, and twisted his body into an awkward position... landing in such a way as to go around the spikes, but damaging his body in the process. "Arggh," he groaned, pulling himself back up to standing. "RANMA!" Ryouga called, landing on the tip of one of the spikes, standing on it as easily as standing on a pole. "Ryouga, jeez, calm down!" Ranma yelled. "Look, I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you wanted! Hell, my life hasn't been a bed of roses either!" "SHUT UP! You have no idea the hell I've endured!" "Join the club! I've got three fiancees, several blood enemies, and a sex change problem. Don't even START to think that I'm happy." "At least YOU have Akane," Ryouga said, grabbing a few bandannas from his pack. "Who'd want an uncute tomboy like that?" Ranma reflexively said. The walls ignited on fire. "You take that back about her!" Ryouga demanded, swinging his bandannas in one hand while pointing an accusatory finger. "You take that back NOW!" The bandannas flew, tripling in size to become whirring blades as the skimmed around Ranma. One of them lopped off his ponytail. Ranma blinked. He felt up near his hairline, at the broken stub of hair, still with the string that bound it in place. "You... cut... my... HAIR..." Ranma said, picking up the severed ponytail in his hand. He clenched it in his fist. Ranma charged. * "Boy... Ryouga must have been more depressed than I thought..." Akane called out, as the two girls free-fell down the pit. "I've been with him for the last few days. He's really been down. Poor guy. He really deserves someone like you." "But I don't love him," Akane said. "He's nice, he's sweet, but he's not Ranma." "Eh?" "Sorry. Slip of the tongue... I meant to say, he's not... umm... what's an adjective that rhymes with 'Ranma'?" "Save it, I get the picture," Charlotte smiled, blue bow whipping behind her in the wind of gravity. "Sigh. I guess my plans didn't work. I'm sorry to manipulate you like that, but Ryouga really seemed to like you, and I wanted to make him happy..." "It's okay," Akane said. "I wonder what's at the bottom of this pit, anyway?" * (Soundtrack note : Okay, the moment you've all been waiting for. Take Halo Eight (the downward spiral) and go to March of the Pigs. It's time. This is meant to be played extended and without the piano parts, though, to keep with the pace, but the original should catch some of the mood...) "One of us isn't leaving here alive, Saotome!" Ryouga said. "It comes down to this." "Fine with me," he said, casting the useless fibers of his hair aside. "You're so intent on crushing me, let's see how good you are at backing up your own words." "DIE!" Ryouga shouted, arcing the flames higher, over his head and redirecting them at Ranma. Ranma gritted his teeth and punched through the firewall, praying that they weren't real... ...and emerged on the other side, singed but safe. He reared back and laid a punch on Ryouga, knocking Ryouga off his feet. Ryouga laughed, climbing back up to fighting stance. "You don't stand a chance in here, Saotome! I control this world, and can use it against you!" "Big deal. It's just illusions. It doesn't hurt a bit," he said, shaking some soot off of his shirt. "Come on! Give me your best shot!" Ryouga howled, as a thousand little black objects swarmed in from around his feet, each with glaring white piggy eyes and little bandannas around him. Ranma backed off, as the wave of P- Chans rushed forward, nipping at him, biting, scratching. "The pigs have won tonight, Saotome," Ryouga gloated, as Ranma was buried in wave after wave of enraged black piglets. "Admit defeat. Akane is mine!" Ranma brushed off the pigs, trying to remember they weren't real. "Just a second ago you were saying she was nobody's! Are you losing it, Ryouga?" "SHUT UP!" Ryouga screamed, as the pigs tripled in number. Ranma was quickly trampled, trying to swim through a sea of yellow and black. Illusion, dammit, it's just like that Toma brat from last year... Ranma stood up, ignoring the pigs. Let them flow THROUGH me, he thought. "Illusions can't hurt people, Ryouga," Ranma said. "Perhaps..." Ryouga said. "But they can scare." With a flick of the wrist, the waves of pigs were now cats. Cats. "Cc....cc..c... CCATS!!" Ranma freaked, spasming and trying to avoid the black, meowing, pushing, crushing tidal waves of felines. "AAAUUGUGIEIOEOEEEE!" "S'matter? Cat got your tongue?" Ryouga joked, reveling in his own bad pun. Ranma sat in the cat-sea, unable to move, eyes bulging. His muscles wouldn't respond. "Now to finish it..." Ryouga said, a familiar taste of copper filling his mouth as the yellow aura spread, first over his back, then flooding towards the front and his outstretched hands. "ROARING LION--" "RYOUGA!" Akane yelled, plummeting down. Ryouga stopped, yellow glow bulging and looking for an outlet. "HELP!" "A...akane?" Ryouga said, watching her fall. At that speed, and the ground... "NO!!" he screamed, projecting safety in all directions. The cavern of Ryouga's mind flashed, cats replaced with mattresses, covering all surfaces. Akane and Charlotte bounced several times before coming to a soft, fluffy halt. "Akane? Are you alright?" Ryouga asked, extending a glowing yellow hand towards her. She backed away instinctively. "Ryouga, did you just try to do your lion blast thingamajig?" Charlotte asked. "Yeah... but... I'm much calmer now... I didn't mean to..." "The power's looking for a way out!" Charlotte said, pointing to the cooling fires that swept over Ryouga's body. "You're gonna blow sky high and take Akane, Ranma and me with you!" "No! Quick! How did you get here?" Ryouga asked, trying to pat out the growing sparks and electrical arcs on his skin. "Magic mirror!" "Use it again! Get Akane and Ranma out of here!" Ryouga demanded. "I don't want them hurt!" "Everybody bunch up where the mirror can see you. You too, Ryouga, I'm not leaving you here," Charlotte said, trying to stand on the mattress. Akane dragged Ranma's stunned form over, and Ryouga stood as closely as he could without hurting the others. "Alright, here goes nothing," Charlotte said, tapping the back of the mirror... ...and Ryouga's mind collapsed. * (Soundtrack note : stop the music, fading down quick) Akane BAMFed onto the cafe sidewalk, holding Ranma tight. Charlotte appeared next. Silence filled the cafe, light pouring away to wherever light went during the afternoon sunset. "Where's Ryouga?" Charlotte asked. "Ummm..." Akane said. "He was in front of the mirror..." "I'm going back to find him," Charlotte said, flipping the mirror open again. "It won't work, sis," Victor said. "If the ban-nan space is empty, it'll use your own mind. Unless he's still there, which means you'll end up in his--" The cafe exploded. "--technique," Ryouga said faintly from the center of the shockwave. The building stones were scattered over a one block radius, leaving mysterious gaps where Buford, Charlotte, Akane and Ranma stood. Victor groaned under a large rock. "Sure, leave ME out of your protection," he grumbled, trying to push the rock away. "Snotty little--" "Ryouga!" Charlotte called, rushing over to his side. "How did you..." "..tried to mix the two... to reroute it and get away..." Ryouga said, smiling weakly. "I guess it worked... you're safe. Akane's safe. I'm... quite happy about that." Ryouga's eyes shut, and his breathing slowed. "RYOUGA!" "Get him to Doctor Tofu's," Akane said. "He'll know what to do." "I hope so," Charlotte said, supporting Ryouga's head up. It was bleeding. * Doctor Tofu examined Ryouga, lying peacefully on his bed with a silly smile spread across his face. The doctor scratched his chin and sat down on the other bed, taking care not to sit on Ranma, who had passed out from shock. "I don't get it," Tofu said. "He's fine... better than fine, really. Quite healthy with normal EKG readings. He's just not waking up." "I'll wake him up," Victor sneered, trying to see under the massive bandage wrapped around his head. "Hibiki-san, wake up so I can strangle you--" "Please?" Buford asked, pleading to Charlotte. Charlotte nodded. Buford grinned evilly, and tapped Victor on the shoulder. "I've been wanting to this for awhile," Buford said, and smashed Victor across the jaw. Victor span around, surprised, and collapsed to the ground. "Buford!" Akane said, annoyed. "He had it coming," Buford said, massaging life back into his fist. "Sorry, doc." "I think I know what to do," Charlotte said, pulling the disc out of her pocket. "How do you know it'll work?" Akane asked. "He's really here, he's not in his mind... is he?" "One way to check," Charlotte shrugged, opening the mirror. "Either I'll end up in my own brain or in his. Be right back. Everybody stay away from the mirror." Charlotte tapped the back of the mirror, and was gone in the familiar blast of light. "I wish she'd stop doing that," Buford said, rubbing his eyes. "I'm gonna go blind if this keeps up." * Charlotte appeared on the beach, the very beach she had left. Ryouga was there, basking in the sun and attempting to read a very bad legal thriller. "Ryouga!" "Oh, hello," he said, waving gently to her. "How do you do?" "That's what I was going to ask. Come on, Ryouga, wake up in reality. We're waiting." "I dunno if I want to," he said. "It's nice here. It's quiet. I don't turn into a pig in my own mind. I don't get beaten. I don't have to worry about dating or revenge or even sleeping. It's nice. Very nice." "The OTHER problem of the ban-nan mirror," Charlotte said. "My uncle once used it and never came back. Slipped into a coma and died three years later." Ryouga face-faulted. "Died?" "Yeah, died. Once someone decides they want to stay, their body is ejected but the mind remains. They have to want to leave again, either that or kick the bucket later." Ryouga considered this. "I don't know. It's lousy out there. Nobody likes me, I get lost all the time, and I'm unhappy." "It is possible to be happy in reality, despite the proof to the opposite you've seen," Charlotte said. "You just need to know the right people, be with them. Like... me." "Eh?" "Get off it, Hibiki. You're always wailing 'My life sucks! My life sucks!'. It's people like you that get our generation labelled. You've had happiness right under your nose and have ignored it. What about me, bub? You think I was helping you for my health? I like you, Ryouga. You're a great guy. Come on, let's get back outside. I'll buy us dinner." "But in here, I don't need to worry about not having Akane." "Ryouga, you two weren't meant to be together. Deal," Charlotte said. "You can't wallow in your own warm place here forever when you've got people that care about you on the other side. I want to stick with you, Ryouga. Let's go. The others are getting worried." Ryouga considered this. Sure, living in your own mind meant never needing to feel pain, never needing to take risks... but here, there wasn't anybody else. Nobody but him. Forever, until he died. "Okay," Ryouga said. He promptly vanished, secondary ban- nan urges no longer supporting his need to be here. Charlotte sighed in relief and mirrored out of there. The island of Ryouga's mind vanished, never to be seen again. * "He's gonna be okay," Charlotte said, mirroring back into the room and pocketing the ban-nan for good. "Ryouga, wake up." Ryouga lie there, still with the smile, still breathing shallow. "Come on, quit kidding around. Ryouga? Yoo hoo! Earth to Hibiki!" Ryouga didn't move. "Is he..." "Gotcha," Ryouga said, sticking out his tongue and laughing. Charlotte reached out and strangled him. "You jerk!" she yelled. "Making me think you had... GRRR!" Ryouga wheezed, trying to pry her hands away. Charlotte let go. "Well, you're my jerk at least. Welcome home." "Thanks," Ryouga said, swinging his feet out of bed. Tofu looked alarmed. "Ryouga, you're in no condition to be walking around..." Ryouga ignored him, and walked over to Ranma's bed. "Is Ranma... okay?" "He's going to be fine," Doctor Tofu said. "Just a bit of a shock. Whatever he saw in your mind must have frightened the living daylights out of him." Ryouga nodded, and rested a hand on Ranma's arm. "Sorry, Saotome. Go in peace. Akane?" "Yes, Ryouga?" "Take good care of him," Ryouga said. "If you'll excuse me, I'm starving and need some food." "Hey boss," Buford said, pulling the crumpled form of Victor up to its feet. "What do we do with laughing boy here?" "Send him back to France," Charlotte said. "Attach a note. I'm not coming back. There's nothing for me there now. Come on, Ryouga. I have a yen for some okonomiyaki for some reason." * "Where are we going?" Charlotte asked, stepping over a log as Ryouga led the way. "Well, I've always wanted to visit Tokyo Disneyland," Ryouga said. "With this revenge deal and Akane, I've never really left Nerima without returning. Now's a good opportunity." "What makes you think we're gonna find it?" Buford asked, hefting the trio's gear over one shoulder. "Trust me," Ryouga smiled. "I know the way. It should be right... over..." Ryouga's pointing finger lowered, as he looked up. And up. And up. "Hey, who put this statue here?" he asked, pointing to the green, copper state of a lady carrying a torch. Buford groaned. "Silly," Charlotte said, smiling. END (Closing theme : Down In It) -=- (author's postscript) PHEW. One week of slightly tipsy academic standings, and March of the Pigs is finally done. It's got some problems, but is pretty damn good for my first fanfic. Look for more. (evil grin) Okay, the greets and thanks. Thanks go out to : Andodikion (who boosted my ranma collection so I'd finally see P-Chan), Benjamin and Abigail (faithful readers and good buds), Trent Reznor (for providing the title pun and general scheme I chose to follow and for not suing), Megazone (for providing r.a.a.s to us writers in the first place), Josh (for providing Superior Ranma through his kick-ass movie set), Julio (how's bowie treatin' ya?), Nick (I'll return your call when I finish posting this), Rumiko-san (for draining my money out of the bank by my new anime addiction), Future Crew (just because they always get da greetz), John Biles and all other fanfiction writers (rock on!), the folks over at AnimeMUCK (I'm Tsubasa there, in case nobody knew), PaulS of ETEXT (without whom my account would be vapor and this story wouldn't be out), Ryouga (you kick ass, never give up), Buford (quit whining and I'll make your part bigger), Mikado (maybe next time), and of course the good folks at Frito Lay for nourishing me throughout this writing experience. Ack. Thanks done, now with the postscript. March of the Pigs has every element I've found to be good and proper in fanfiction. Random chaos, silliness, bad puns, character development, someone for Ryouga and the occasionally twisted bit of darkness. I originally set out NOT to end the Ranma series, as most fanfictions do, but I just couldn't see leaving Ryouga friendless and broken in the end... plus, Charlotte was made for him. Originally she was going to be evil and plotting, like Kodachi, but that character rubbed me the wrong way, as did Buford's original cigarette-smoking 'Kill the Lawbreaker' attitude and Victor's 'All people are mindless sheep and must be punished' attitude. They were toned down to fit in the comedic world of Ranma 1/2. The series technically could have skipped the test date and Azusa and other silliness, but that wouldn't have given me enough of a lead in to the concluding battle between Ranma and Ryouga, where the title track for the series is used. As for the music... originally it was just going to be a pun, but when I came up with the neat idea for P-Chan's Nightmare in part1, I liked that header format with chosen score and kept it throughout most of the series. I tried to picture what those scenes would look like... Sasuke's mad dash through the trees to the tune of March of the Fuckheads, P-Chan's spiral into pain with Help Me I Am In Hell, and Ryouga's beach dream with A Warm Place. Azusa's happy music and Pinion don't really fit, but that's minor. The closing songs are mostly just for pun- silliness, except latter parts where I felt that wacky fun didn't fit the closing mood. That's it. If I do another fanfiction series (very likely), it probably won't be an extension of March of the Pigs, since Ryouga would be left out. I'll probably center the next one on Mousse, who also deserves a little justice done... until then, love, luck and lollipops. E-Mail : gagne@locust.cic.net WWW : http://www.wam.umd.edu/~twoflowr/index.html FWLS FTP : etext.archive.umich.edu /pub/Fiction/FWLS MUDs : Twoflower or Tsubasa (Furry, Anime, Aleph) Doesn't it make you feel better? The pigs have won tonight They can all sleep soundly And everything is alright.