Ranma 1/2 : Ministry of Confusion Part 1 A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne (All characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously. If I ever even considered claiming that these were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.) -=- Hey, kids! Do ya like that dark future? This story SERIES (ongoing until I find an end) is a mix of what I like best in my FWLS (A Future We'd Like to See) series and my Ranma 1/2 anime fanfictions. As a result, it will be posted to both rec.arts.anime.stories and alt.cyberpunk.chatsubo, since it applies to both. Here are some individual notes for both groups : R.A.A.S : This story lifts the Ranma cast out of the series and implants it into a dark utopian society. As a result, some relationships are just not going to work right. However, I've tried to keep most of them stable and constant... Shampoo still is defeated by Ranma and falls in love, Akane and Ranma are still a bit rocky, Ryouga is still lost etc. The only gap would be surrounding the Tendo sisters, who have been given a much larger role. It's like the Sailor Ranma series : a cross-rip. Just not ripped with a single series, but a blend of all that rocks in the genre of Dark Utopia. A.C.C : Fret not, FWLS isn't dead. It's not doing well, but hopefully this series will be a kick in the ass to it to get it in gear, since it'll put me back in the cyberpunk frame. A lot... hell, probably all of you are unfamiliar with the anime series Ranma 1/2. My response is don't worry. The relationships will be explained, and you won't need any background material. It'll just look a bit weirder, but since when has weird been a BAD thing? >:) And look at it this way; r.a.a.s is *moderated*. You'll be getting it FIRST! NYAHAHAHA! There won't be a postscript, since this is a series, so I'll get all the trivia and information out here. The idea formed when I was on AnimeMUCK pretending to sell Lum clones. I smelled fanfic and figured a cyberpunk anime mix would work nicely, crafted up a beta universe doc and flashed it around. Things went smoothly from there on (I hope, I'm PREDICTING this will work). You will see MANY references or borrows from 1984, Blade Runner, Brazil and Brave New World. This isn't truly a parody of those movies but another in a series, another in a genre, borrowing from the masters and paying tribute in return. It's your basic Boy Meets Girl Boy And Girl Get Crushed By An Oppressive Bureaucratic Government Which Controls All Aspects of Life story with a few twists. So read over a few stories, see what you think, I'm always available for commentary or discussion at gagne@locust.cic.net. I'll try to keep a running archive of this on my web page, http://www.wam.umd.edu/~twoflowr/, but it might not be up for awhile. I welcome fan art (but probably won't get any. :) Enough banter : off to Tokyo. Please fasten safety belts. -=- "Excuse me, what do you mean you don't have it anymore?" Ranma Saotome asked the librarian. The librarian, a Kasumi model, peered over her just-for- effect hornrimmed glasses at the boy. "We don't have it anymore. Or rather, won't in a few minutes. I'm afraid that section of the library is getting very old, and in accordance with the Ministry of Sanitation guidelines on safety, it's being carted away for destruction..." "Destruction?" Ranma asked. "I thought the library didn't burn books!" "It doesn't. We vaporize them. Don't worry, sir, the material won't be lost; we'll be getting the next version of the book on fireproofed archive format in a month. If you like, I can put you on pre-borrow for it..." "No thanks," Ranma waved away. "Have they taken the books away yet?" "The safety officer is still in the back packing them," the Kasumi said, pointing to the back of the library. "Thanks," Ranma thanked, turning around and making a run for the shelves. The book section was clearly visible, even down the football-stadium sized archives of the Tokyo Public Library. It wasn't blue, first of all. It wasn't plastic, and it wasn't housing millions of little compact discs. It was real paper, with real leather binding; real BOOKS. Ranma ran by the endless, unidentifiable shelves of CD holders, deftly weaving in between researchers carrying stacks and stacks of the blue plastic containers. The CD-Readers were, of course, in another room; there just wasn't enough room in the library to house both the archives and the readers in the same area. This meant that you'd have to walk the football yardage at least four times, once to get a CD, once to walk back, once to find a terminal, and once to return the CD. Ranma liked books. He got eyestrain trying to read from a monitor, and books could be read right where you were standing. This floor just wasn't suitable for running, not like the dojo mats back home, and the less he had to plod across it the better. The boy came to a skidding halt at the single shelf of books left. Already a Ryouga model in the blue garb of the Ministry of Sanitation was busy dumping books by the armload into a huge cart, nearly the size of a chinese junk. "Whoa, whoa!" Ranma said, interrupting the man's progress. "I need one of those books." "Forget it," the Ryouga said. "These are off to be copied and fried. They're hazmat now, too easy to catch on fire. I already got in trouble once letting one of these firetraps loose and having some idiot burn it in a peace protest. So, before you ask, no, you can't have the book you want." "Please?" Ranma asked. "I can pay you, mister..." "Adam Ryouga Akari," he said. "And FYI, the Ministry of Sanitation doublechecks my income twice weekly and I don't need a bribe on my record, thank you." "What would you do if I just TOOK the book?" Ranma asked. "Simple. I'd kick your ass. Ryouga extenders are rather good at that," Adam said, cracking his knuckles and smiling. "I haven't gotten into a good fight in so long..." "Aha!" Ranma said. "But the library has a Pax Law Restriction on it. You'd be breaking the law. I don't think the Ministry of Sanitation would approve." Adam froze. He grumbled, bearing some really horrible dental work. "Damn. I hate that law. Would just tackling you to the ground count?" "'fraid so. I've read up quite a bit on the Pax laws." "You a wannabe lawyer like half these dorks?" Adam asked, pointing to a few random researchers. "Of course not. I'm a martial artist," Ranma said, puffing out his chest. "And in my line of work, you either know where you can and can't fight or you go to the slammer and dishonor your family." "Terrif," Adam said. "Well, I happen to be a wannabe lawyer dork too, and I know that according to the Ministry of Data, theft of a book from the Tokyo Library is also against the law. You could snatch it if you wanna, but you'd be up the creek. Whaddya got to say to that, fighter boy?" "I don't want to steal it," Ranma said. "I just want to borrow it. I'll be back with it in ten minutes. How's that sound?" "Errrmmm... iffy," Adam said. "Alright, it'll take me that long to load up the rest of these. If you're not back by the time I get the cart to the desk on the ten yard line there, I declare the book stolen and you can be looking at some Ministry of Sanitation boys on your ass faster than you can blink. Got it?" "Why is it that you Ryouga extenders are so pissed off all the time?" Ranma asked, beginning to root through the worker's cart. "We aren't," Adam said. "Deep down, we're very caring people who just want to be loved." "Then why is it that every Ryouga I've met has hated my guts?" Ranma asked. "Can't like everybody," Adam Ryouga shrugged. * Ranma's feet pounded against the knobby steel floor once more, hurting all the way. He didn't care, though; he was running out of time. A two minute's jog from one end of the cavernous library to the other. One minute to locate the machine. Three to copy. Three to get back. Nine minutes. Not Good. Still, this was the only legal way Ranma could get the book. Ranma couldn't stand all these ridiculous laws, but his dad knocked some sense into him at an early age, back when he'd break laws all the time just to be breaking them. Now he had seen the light; the laws were still silly, but they could be danced around in really evil ways. For instance, the high-speed copy machine in the Reader Room. Nobody used it anymore, but the Ministry of Data was notorious for not updating equipment terribly fast; it would still be there, just like it was last time Ranma visited to read the book. The book would be destroyed, and very likely changed before put back on the shelves in CD-ROM format, but HE would have a copy of it nobody could claim was illegal. Well, okay, MILDLY illegal since stacks of paper over fifty sheets were hazmat, but that was IT. Really. Ranma jogged by the desk where the Kasumi librarian was busy alphabetizing CDs, and into the tiny doorway of the Reader Room. Two minutes down, right on the dot by Ranma's archaic wind- up watch. He jogged down row after row of identical grey boxes, each flashing the ASCII of the archives to various bored-looking researchers. His machine was grey too, but didn't have a screen, and it was about... THREE rows over, one column... There. Ranma grinned evilly and stepped up to the dusty machine, forcing the input slot open and stuffing the book inside. Sliding his Tokyo Express card through the reader, the xerox machine rumbled to life like so much kitchenware falling down a mountain. It shuddered, it shook, it whanged loudly against the wall several times. Ranma didn't care about the confused looks from the readers and the readers manning them; he was almost there. Ding! Three hundred sheets of ultra-thin paper slid into the slot, the robotic staple-nailer jamming three identical bolts through the spine. KACHUNK, KACHUNK, KACHUNK and he had a perfect color copy of the book. Sans cover, but whatever. Ranma stuffed the copy into his backpack and yanked open the book slot, pulling on the textbook inside. Which was jammed. He made some experimental tugs on the book, which rattled around in the slot like a cheap brass doorknob. The book was stuck, the dented spine caught on the copier's page-turning arm. "No, no, this can't be happening..." he mumbled, using both hands to pull at the book. His watch said he had two minutes to get his ass back into the library and over to Adam... AH, Forget it. There were easier ways to do this. Ranma reared back with his hand, curling up the fingers into a fist. With a WHOOSH of displaced air, the fist slammed through the cheap metal and plastic of the copier, breaking it to component parts. Each bit and gizmo in the copier gave up and fell into a heap of fragments, never to work again. Grinning evilly, Ranma pulled the book easily out of the wreckage, and made a run for it. * "Hey, you seen a kid come by here?" Adam Ryouga Akari asked the librarian, slowly pulling his massive load towards the main door. "Tacky red shirt, black hair, pigtail? Or is it a ponytail? One of the two, old hairstyle. I think he was about sixteen." "A boy with that description just ran into the Reading Room at unsafe speeds several minutes ago," the Kasumi librarian said, pointing to the door with a pen. "Buggering book thief. Alright, you better report one of the books as missing." "Which one?" Kasumi asked, pulling a digital notepad out from a desk drawer. The door to the Reading Room burst open, bouncing off the wall and closing itself. It didn't close fast enough for Ranma to sprint, screaming all the way, through the door and headfirst into the book cart. "Hrmph!" Ranma mumbled under a small pile of economy textbooks, waving the original book around in the air. He pulled his face out of the profit and gross national product, and handed the book to the workman. "I'll be damned, you didn't swipe it," the Ryouga worker noted, fiddling with the book. "Go off for a quick read, huh?" "Could say that," Ranma said, hopping out of the cart. "Kasumi, I think your photocopier broke." "That's Ada Kasumi Francis to you," the librarian corrected. "It's okay, sir, the Ministry of Data was going to replace it later today anyway." "Guess I struck it lucky," Ranma nodded. * Ranma paged through his book, slumped against the wall of his family dojo. He turned page after page, slightly smudgy but certainly readable, and chock full of information. "Hey, dad, did you know that they used to let you own and drive a car in Tokyo?" Ranma asked. "What, not just taxis?" Genma Saotome asked, pausing in his punches to a training dummy. "Isn't that bad for the city? Traffic and pollution would be terrible." "Pollution is already terrible, dad." "I mean worse than it is now. Bad air is bad for breathing, which hinders how well you perform in combat." "Speaking of which, why haven't you attacked me yet?" Ranma asked, setting the book down. "It's been all night and not a single patented Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts Pop Training Session." "I have more important plans for you tonight, boy," Genma said, pushing up his glasses. "I don't think I like the sound of that." "Nonsense, boy. It's about time you faced up to your obligations to carry on the family name!" Genma huffed. "I REALLY don't think I like the sound of that. Dad, what're you talking about? "Congratulations, Ranma, you're engaged!" his dad cheered, shaking Ranma's hand strongly. Ranma took advantage of the moment to casually toss his dad across the room and into a wall. Genma impacted upside down, and slid down the wall to a halt. "That was impolite, Ranma," Genma noted, flipping over into a standing position. "You had better not be that impolite to your new fiancee." "What do you mean, pop?" Ranma asked. "You know I don't have time for a fiancee. I've got my training to worry about. And this," he added, pointing to the book. "YOU FOOL! You're in no position to whine about time constraints," Genma warned, wandering off to his room. From inside the cheap plastic walls, the continued. "Listen, Ranma, before your dear mother passed on, I promised her you'd be carrying on the proud line of the Saotome family. Since you've shown NO signs of doing that on your own, I've had to press the issue. You brought this on yourself, boy. Now take it like a man." "You can't MAKE me marry anybody, pop. It's in the law." "Quit quoting your law books at me and give me a hand with this," Genma demanded, pushing in a huge crate. "Eh?" Ranma asked. "What's this?" "It's... URGH... your new... RRG... fiancee!" Genma finished, having pushed the crate to the center of the room. "I'm married to a box?" Ranma asked, confused. "Of course not, boy. I've scrimped and saved for two years, and finally I had enough to grow you an extender to make a fine wife!" Genma cheered. "I read the sales brochure. She's guaranteed to be a good housewife, a kind mother and a lifelong companion. She's perfect, son!" "Aw, YUCK!" Ranma gagged, pretending to stick a finger down his throat. "Dad, you got me one of those clone things to MARRY? That's... TWISTED. Can those things even... well... you know?" "You should know," Genma grinned in an unpleasant way. "And why is that?" "Who do you think YOUR mother was?" Genma asked, folding his arms in triumph. Ranma opened his mouth to rebuke, but nothing came out. He left his mouth open, brain scrambling like a chicken with its head cut off, looking for anything he could say. How was he supposed to react to that? "You're lying," Ranma confirmed. "She was a Nodoka model, Ranma. Missus Abigail Nodoka Saotome. The finest woman I'll ever know... a gentle soul truly... how it broke your father's heart when she was involved in that taxi accident. And YES, she was an extended human, just like your new fiancee." "I'm... a half breed?" Ranma asked. "Don't be dense, boy. The Ministry of Sanitation would never allow messy genes to cause medical problems. You're 100% human, just like any child of an extender and a normal human. And so is she, just a little bit... better. It's perfectly acceptable in the society we live in, son. It's just the adjusted natural order of things." "This is nuts," Ranma concluded. "Totally and completely nuts. Mom couldn't have been a clone, it's just... silly. How can one of those things be a real person? HOW?" "If you doubt, take a look at THIS!" Genma said, popping the latch on the crate open and swinging the door open with a flourish. A shower of styrofoam peanuts rained down upon Ranma, followed by a lumpy object which sent him crashing to the floor. Buried under fluffy bits of not-snow, he waved his arms wildly around, grabbing at the air and trying to push the sack of potatoes that had fallen on him OFF. He was rather surprised when it moved away on its own. Ranma forced himself into a sitting position, spitting out rice cake bits and shaking his hair dandruff-free. He turned to yell at his dad for doing that, but there was a naked girl in the way. "AIEEEE!" she yelled, diving under the sea level of the peanut ocean. "PERVERT!" Before Ranma could object, a slap landed heavy and hard on his right cheek. "Hrm. Forgot they shipped them without clothes," Genma noted. "You stay here and get acquainted with your new fiancee, Ranma, and I'll go get the outfit I bought for her." Ranma nodded weakly, not sure what else he should do. He avoided looking at the girl right in the eyes. "Umm, hi," he greeted without looking. "Ugh," she groaned. "Peanuts? I was shipped like stereo equipment? That's awful! And like THIS... and you looked, you pervert!" "Hey, wait a minute, I did NOT--" Ranma protested, turning to face her. She ducked under to cover herself, and Ranma continued. "I did NOT know you were gonna be like that. It's my dad's fault for literally springing this on me-- and YOU slapped me, you violent girl!" "Only because you were leering!" "I wasn't 'leering'. I was 'shocked'. There's a difference, and certainly one that doesn't warrant being pounded by some maniac." "MANIAC? Who's the hentai loon here, you or me?" "Just my luck, dad bought me a tomboy," Ranma humphed. "Just my luck, I'm engaged to a pervert," Akane countered. "Where's that dress already? I'm freezing!" "So you're an extended human, huh?" Ranma asked, wanting to switch to a topic that didn't involve violent perverts. "I'm just Akane," she replied. "As for extended, if that's what you call it, whatever." "Whoa. Give me SOME credit for knowing how this works in relation to the name game. Akane's your middle name, right? From the person you're cloned off of?" "My FIRST name is Akane, pervert." "Hey, if I recall, *I* get to pick your first name," Ranma said. "Purchase of growth rights, Ministry of Data Extender Grow Laws. I dub thee Tomboy Akane Saotome. It's very you." "It's AKANE TENDO, not TOMBOY!" Akane said, hoisting herself up in anger, ignoring the results. "And I'm NOT going to marry you!" "Fine by me," Ranma said. "I wouldn't want to marry someone named Tomboy anyway. People would talk." "I wouldn't want to marry a pervert." "Now, look--" "I got the dress!" Genma said, leaning in from his bedroom. "Umm. Is something wrong?" "Gimmie that!" Akane yelled, charging across the room and snatching the dress. She was a pink blur on her way into Genma's room to change. Genma blinked at the spot of space where the dress used to be. "What back alley clinic was she grown in, dad?" Ranma asked, standing up in the landslide. "She's a violent freak! Kinda like one of the Ryouga extenders out of control." "It MIGHT be a defect..." Genma wondered. "I got it directly from the Ministry of Data's Biogen Division. I wanted quality for you, boy. Isn't she kind and nice and such?" "HA! Demonic is more like it." "Hrm... maybe I ought to call the MoD," Genma thought. "Forget it, dad," Ranma said. "I'm not marrying ANYBODY. Especially not an extender. Go see if you can buy some normal girl off the street if you're so eager to play meat market for me, okay?" "RANMA, you've got no right to be picky about women!" Genma growled, getting mad. "If I say you're marrying this Akane, you're marrying her. You do NOT have a say in the matter." "This bites, dad. I'm outta here," Ranma said, fishing through the mess for his prized book. "Where do you think YOU'RE going?" Genma asked. "Anywhere," Ranma said. "I'm going to go read. Or train. SOMETHING. This is no time for fiancees." "FINE by me," Akane said, wandering out of Genma's room, still buttoning the yellow dress up. "I'm out of here." "Whoa, wait a minute!" Genma protested. "Akane, I paid two years' salary to have you grown for my son. Now, I know you aren't legally obligated, but you ARE honor bound to stay with him." "Honor? What honor is there in being grown from a tube for a baka like him?" Akane asked. "Baka? Who're you calling a--" Something's wrong here, Genma thought. Extenders don't normally disapprove of who they are or why they're around... what was wrong with this one? Something had to be wrong. He had paid way too much money on his son's happiness to let it be ruined now. "I've got to go make a call," Genma announced to the two kids, who were too busy arguing to notice. * "Look, we had more than enough shipping problems AS IS with your extender," the clerk responded testily. "Replacements, double checking, debugging... and now you're saying she's DEFECTIVE?" "Exactly! She's not getting along at all with my boy. She's not anything the brochure claimed. What's going on down there, boy? Why, I remember when my dad ordered MY wife that she was something special, a diamond in the rough... this thing you shipped me is just the rough." "I'll pass your comment along," the clerk said, "But I can't do anything. The warranty is null and void in the event of a defect in the product." "What?!" "Hey, if it wasn't, we'd have to chuck our 100% satisfaction advert, right?" the clerk said, smugly. "She's your problem now, pops. Thank you for choosing Ministry of Data Biogen. Click." "I oughtta come down there and give you the thrashing of your--" "PERVERT!" "TOMBOY!" Genma groaned, hanging the phone up. This wasn't how it was supposed to go at all. He KNEW what was supposed to happen, a carbon copy of the day he met Abigail Nodoka... maybe he should have had the box on the right end when he opened it, but to have this mess arise from THAT? It was his bed now, and he'd have to lie in it. Technically, Ranma would have to lie in it, but family honor doesn't localize. "Alright, you two, knock it off!" Genma demanded, exiting his bedroom. "I don't care how you two feel about each other, Akane's here and we're going to have to deal with it." "Pop, you can't be serious--" "What, would you have me toss her out on the streets?" Genma asked. "Well... no, but... isn't there anything you can do? Call the factory and recall her or something?" "Recall?" Akane asked, insulted. "I'm not a refrigerator, I'm a human being!" "I checked. They don't do recalls," Genma noted. "She's going to have to live with us until she figures out what she wants to do, Ranma, like it or not. Get used to the idea." * The air hung thick with tension in the Saotome home that night. Ranma and Akane rarely exchanged words, relying only on the occasional evil glare as a communications medium. Genma tried to calm the two down and get them together with hearty family activity, which didn't work very well at all. "How about bowling?" Genma suggested. "She'd just drop a ball on my foot," Ranma said. "Then let's go to a movie!" "Nothing new is out." "ANYTHING! You two can't just sit around the dojo and be mad at each other all night. You're engaged." "Not under Ministry of Data marriage law we aren't. Nothing is legal until the papers go through to finalize the wedding," Ranma quoted. "Is this a dojo?" Akane asked. Ranma turned around slowly, not sure how to react to the only non-insulting thing Akane had said all night. "Yeah. It's the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts." "I used to train in a dojo like this years ago," Akane said. "No you didn't. You weren't even alive years ago." "Well, WHENEVER Ranma. Point is I remember it, okay? Let's put it to good use. I'll spar with you." "Spar?" Ranma asked. "Ummm... I'd rather not..." "Calm down, I won't hurt you for real," Akane said, getting up from her seat. "Unless, of course, you're afraid to get hurt..." "Yeah, right, like you could hurt me," Ranma said. "Okay, let's get this over with." "That's what I like to see!" Genma applauded. "You two are getting along just fine--" "HIYA!" Akane yelled, rushing at Ranma with a punch. Ranma easily ducked it, and sprung back up with a bounce that neatly avoided Akane's sweeping kick. Genma leaned back and enjoyed the moment as the two kids fought. At least they weren't arguing; and such HEALTHY activity, too! Healthy until someone got hit, of course, but Genma knew Ranma better than that. Akane didn't, however, and pressed the attack on as Ranma ducked, dodged, and otherwise avoided every single blow. In a final desperate attack, Akane managed to punch straight through the nonflammable plywood of the dojo wall -- Ranma simply jumped over her and tapped her on the shoulder from behind. "Done yet?" he asked. "Why... why didn't you fight back?" Akane asked. "Simple. I don't hit girls," Ranma said. "It's not right." Akane started to ask why, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, knuckle on fireproof plastic. "I'll get that," Genma said, walking across the dojo floor. he reached out and opened the door, greeted by the cheery green of a Ministry of Economics worker. "This the Saotome Dojo?" the worker asked, noisily clacking some chewing gum. "The Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, yes," Genma nodded. "Can I help you?" "Certainly. You called the Ministry of Data earlier about a defective Akane extender, right?" he asked. "One that went kinda not-so-right in the head, yes?" "I am NOT crazy," Akane said, getting defensive. "Uh-huh," the workman replied. "Well, I've got a recall order here to take her in to figure out what went wrong. Come along, miss." "Wait a second," Ranma said, cutting in front of his father. "Something's fishy here. If anybody would be recalling her, it would be the Ministry of Data, right? I mean, it was THEIR labs that grew her for my dad. Why would the Ministry of Money be interested in her?" "That's Ministry of Economics, lad," the workman reminded. "Well, you know how it is, a veritable Ministry of Confusion, as usual with these things. See, you've got your Ministry of Sanitation handling cleaning up the crime pun intended, you've got your Ministry of Data doing genetic research and cloning, and Ministry of Economic's been picking up the slack where they can find it. Ministry of Peace ain't gonna do it because they're too busy fighting on the front, you know? Akane here is a special case scenario which the good 'ol MoE is gonna handle. I've got orders from the Director herself." "According to law, Tomboy Akane Saotome--" "HEY!" "--has rights too," Ranma said. "I'll need to see a warrant before you can do anything." "Don't need one," the man said, gum clicking away. "She's not registered yet and doesn't count. Now come on, lad, don't make this any harder than it's got to be. She's hazmat now, too dangerous to leave unchecked. Don't wont to impede public safety, do we?" "What exactly are you planning on doing to her?" Ranma asked. "Oh, the usual. Take her apart and see what went wrong. Got to do research to prevent future botch jobs, you know? S'not good for sales to have loose cannons running around." "Are you planning on putting her back together again?" "Huh? 'course not, lad. What made you think that?" "What exactly do you plan to do if she doesn't WANT to go?" Ranma asked. "Oh, probably call in a few of the lads to grab her. Rather high priority, she is." "And if I object too?" Ranma asked. "That'd be impeding a Ministry of Economics investigation, lad, and a felony." "Thought so," Ranma said. "Dad, sorry, gotta break the law. I'll apologize later." Before Genma could say a word, Ranma had slammed a haymaker across the workman's jaw. The workman fell over, with the same bored look on his face he walked in with. "Alright, Akane, let's go," Ranma said, grabbing Akane by the arm and making a run for it. "RANMA! What are you doing?" Genma asked. "You just hit an officer from the Ministry of Economics!" "I know. I'm sorry," Ranma said. "Gotta go." With that, Ranma was out the door and running, Akane in tow. * "Ra... RANMA... slow down!" Akane demanded, digging her shoes into the pavement to drag Ranma back a little. "Come on, you KNOW they're gonna swarm the place any minute now," Ranma said. "You want those freaks to take you off to the Ministry of Economics and rip you to bits? Huh?" "No, of course not! But..." "But what?" Ranma asked. "Don't object to the person who's saving your life." "Why ARE you saving my life?" Akane asked. "Why? Why... I don't know. Because I don't like to see people die. Because I know the Ministries are run by jerks. Because I found out how things USED to be and I just feel like exploding when I see what's they've done to it since," Ranma said, stopping in his tracks. "I've had to obey the law, dodge around it on a promise to my dad up until now, but I can't handle this anymore. Especially not someone charging in and asking if we could hand you over to be slaughtered. That never would have been done before, I've been reading about the way we used to li..." Ranma paused, searching that thought. He quickly pulled his cheap backpack off his shoulders, and ripped the zipper open. "What?" Akane asked, looking into the backpack. "What's wrong?" "It's not here!" Ranma said, in fear. "I left it back at the dojo!" "Left what?" "My book!" Ranma said, dropping the backpack completely. "It was the only copy left on Earth... I gotta go back for it." "Didn't you just say the place would be swarming with people? What's so important about a book?" "It's not just a book," Ranma said. "It's the past. It's the only history textbook I've ever found that goes back, back farther than the millennium end. I need to go get it. YOU stay here." "But you'll need help--" "I don't want you getting hurt," Ranma said. "It's my book, I'll get it. Don't move." "But--" Ranma was already twenty feet away and accelerating, straight back on the path they had taken to escape the hornet's nest. Hmph. Idiot, Akane thought. I hope nothing horrible happens to him, though. * "That was really dumb, Saotome," a green-suited solider said, poking through the Ministry of Data package with a rifle end. "Honestly, buying him an extender? A *bride*? You should know better than to introduce a potentially hazardous element into the mix." "I know, I know," Genma said. "Still, I did feel obligated. Abigail Nodoka made me promise..." "It doesn't apply, now does it?" the soldier asked. "Whatever. The damage is done. We'll get whatever data we can and cover up the rest." "What are you going to do to them?" Genma asked. "We're not authorized to tell you that," the soldier replied. "Alright, boys, they're probably not coming back. Let's fan out and search the area. I want those kids back alive. You find one, you'll find the other." The other soldiers nodded, and began exiting the dojo through the various holes they had made on the way in. Genma frowned at his ruined dojo; all this, just to look for an extender that had turned wayward... "Pop!" Ranma called, hanging from the ceiling via an air duct. "Yoo hoo!" "Ranma?" Genma asked, looking up. "What're you doing up there?" "I've been here for five minutes. What were you doing talking to those psychos, dad?" "I can't explain," Genma said, regretfully. "Look, you'd better just take Akane and go somewhere safe. It's too dangerous for you two to stay here." "I know," Ranma said, dropping to the floor, twisting in the air to land like a cat. "Dad... are you mad at me?" "For what, boy?" "Breaking the law. I know you made me promise on my mother's grave that I'd never do it again, way back when I was six..." "Son, there's a time for respecting the government and there are times when you can't," Genma said. "At this point, I trust you to make that decision. Your mother would approve." "Good," Ranma said, calming down slightly. "Anyway, I just came back for one thing..." He walked over to the room where Akane originally landed on him, and picked through the rubble. Finding his color copied book, he dusted the cover off until he could make out the words : History of the World, Twentieth Century. "I think I know a way to keep her safe from them," Ranma said, stuffing the book under his shirt. "I've got a plan that'll let me end this nonsense quickly and get on with my life. Bye, dad. I'll be back soon." With that, Ranma jumped up to the air duct he had crawled in from and exited, just as silently as he had entered. "Just make sure you're safe too, Ranma," Genma said to himself. "You've got more reason to worry than she does." End of File Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.1 Private use only