Ranma 1/2 : Ministry of Confusion
                              Part 2

           A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (All characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously.  If I
     ever even considered claiming that these were my own
     characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
     I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.)

-=-

     Ryouga squelched through the rain, blinding running from
building to building.  WHERE?  Where could she have gone?  After
so much time and effort to develop another extender without
mental inhibitors, to lose her in a shipping error was just...
just... stupid.

     He walked up to the nearest door, and forced it open. 
Ignoring the confused looks from the family of four inside, he
repeated his question :

     "Where is the Saotome Dojo?!"

     The family blinked a bit, not sure what to say.  Ryouga
pulled the waterproof, fireproof map out of his backpack and held
it out for the head of the house to examine.

     The father peered at the laminated paper, trying to figure
out what it was.  "Hrm.  That's a map of the Nerima district,
isn't it?  North side of Tokyo?"

     "Exactly," Ryouga nodded.  "How do I get there?"

     "But... this is the Juku district," the man said.  "The
farthest southeastern point in Tokyo.  You're fifty miles away at
least."

     "Fi... fifty miles?" Ryouga asked.  "Nevermind.  Sorry to
bother you.  Goodbye."

     "But--"

     Ryouga shut the door behind him, entering the rain once
more.  WHY?  Why did he have to completely burn out his sense of
direction while fighting his own mental inhibitors?  What justice
was there in it?

     Time was running out.  The longer it took to find her, the
more likely it would be for the Ministry of Data to notice the
error and try to get her back.  Or the Ministry of Sanitation, or
maybe even the Ministry of Peace; none of them would be happy
with an extender loose on the streets that had free will.

     What they'd do to her was too horrible to think about.

     "Akane, I WILL find you!" Ryouga called to the rains.  "I
promise you!"

     "You too, huh?" a man next to him asked, polishing off a
cigarette.  "Don't get myself what's so big about this stray
Akane model."

     "Huh?" Ryouga asked, turning around.  "Who're you?"

     "Ryan Tuttle Giji," the man said.  "Ministry of Data.  So're
you, by the uniform."

     "Uniform?  Oh, yeah," Ryouga nodded, remembering that he had
yet to take off his yellow MoD lab coat from this morning's work. 
"So... I take it the MoD is having trouble?"

     "Yeah.  Mousse's got us scouring the city for some Akane
model and a human who's helping her hide," he said.  "Don't catch
the point myself, since the Ministry of Sanitation'll probably
pick them up first.  Or Ministry of Peace.  You know how it goes,
right?  MoC?"

     "Ministry of Confusion, yes," Ryouga nodded, recognizing the
popular joke term.

     "They all got their reasons.  Data doesn't want anybody to
know they botched it up, Sanitation is worried about public
safety and Peace wants... ah, I don't know what they want. 
Nobody does, that's how buggering secretive those blokes are. 
Rumor has it the Ministry of Economics even has people out
looking for her tonight.  A full squad of guys with guns.  Wot's
the Ministry of Economics doing with a swat team?  Argh.  Kinda
makes you sick, don't it?"

     "I... don't follow."

     "It's such a sodding waste of resources!  Every Ministry is
sweeping the city.  They can't decide who should handle it, so
they're all doing it.  Most of us don't even know why we're doing
it," Ryan said.  "I don't buy Data's excuse.  Data claims it's
just trying to get the defective Akane back.  Won't work. 
Peace'll get the kids, sure thing; that's what they're good at. 
I give up.  Wanna go back to the shop 'n have a few cups?  No use
hanging out in the rain.  I'm a scientist, not a bounty hunter."

     "N... no thanks," Ryouga said.  "I'm going to keep looking. 
I've got orders, like you do, right?"

     "Suit yourself.  Catch your death of cold if it's your
fancy," Ryan said.  "Care for a cig?"

     "Sorry, I don't smoke."

     "What do you do at MoD, anyway?" Ryan asked.  "I haven't
seen you around.  Well, maybe I have, but with all the bloody
Ryougas we have running around, I'd never know it were YOU."

     "Oh, this and that," Ryouga said.  "I lift the heavy stuff. 
Carry files around.  Reload the biotanks... things like that. 
Sometimes I handle data entry into the tanks."

     "Tricky business, that.  Maybe this Akane's your fault,"
Ryan joked.  "Put in a B where you should have put a T or
something and gummed her brain up something awful, eh?"

     "I did NOTHING of the sort!" Ryouga exclaimed.  "I'm a loyal
Ministry of Data worker and I do not tamper with the goods!"

     "Whoa, whoa mate, I'm only kidding," Ryan protested, backing
off.  "Probably just another bloody inhibitor error.  I wish
they'd stop using generation twos, they're unreliable.  'sides,
you Ryouga extenders are too bloody strong for 'em.  Keep
overriding the program, developing mental viruses to keep the
inhibitors from working.  Gone total frankenstein, you know?"

     "Lucky thing I have no intentions of doing that," Ryouga
lied.  "The Ministry of Sanitation would hunt me down for
presenting a danger to the public."

     "Right on, mate.  That's the whole problem, we need stronger
inhibitors.  'course, can't tell the public too much about those,
right?  Make 'em get all edgy about man's rights to free will and
all.  Laymen.  Just don't follow why we do it, right?"

     "Why do you think they stick those things in extenders?"
Ryouga asked, genuinely interested.

     "Well, the official banter is that by keeping 'em from
breaking the law or objecting to what they are, it prevents messy
conflict and social disorder.  I think it's just some silly
Ministry power play, like they're sticking subliminals in there
to whack MoP troopers or whatever if the Ministry of Data decides
to take over.  We deserve it, what with the crap we put up with
on a daily basis from those other Ministries..."

     "Tell me about it," Ryouga nodded.  "Just today I was
hauling boxes and boxes of research data over to the Ministry of
Economics.  They never tells us Ryougas why, of course, we're
just the delivery boys."

     "Dark stuff goin' on in Tokyo, lad," Ryan said, puffing
away.  "I'd move off to the Americas if they'd let me.  Like it
or not, I guarantee you when the crap hits the fan the MoD is
going to be the first to go down."

     "You think someone's going to bomb the Ministry of Data?"
Ryouga asked.  "Like, terrorists?"

     "Wouldn't put it past them.  Either terrorists or another
Ministry.  Wossname?  The Commander of the Peace.  Never trusted
her.  If she doesn't get us, those ridiculous Ministry of
Confusion Anarchists will get us.  Blown up, either way.  You
hear about the Anarchists, lad?"

     "Of course.  They're on the news every day," Ryouga nodded.

     "I'm surprised the MoP or MoS hasn't bagged them yet," Ryan
said.  "Just a bunch of street punks, adopting a perfectly
harmless joke term for a terror threat.  Nuisances, all of them. 
You see one of those lads, you steer clear, hear?  They're
nothing but trouble."

     "I'll keep that in mind.  Listen, mister... um..."

     "Ryan.  Ryan Tuttle Giji."

     "Yes, Ryan.  I'd better go off looking for that lost Akane,"
Ryouga said.

     "Luck to you, though you'll probably not succeed," Ryan
said, tipping his hat.  "Those two kids are probably already in
some dungeon in the pits of the MoP by now.  I'm off to the lab. 
Obligatory overtime to pull."

     Ryouga nodded, and walked away in a random direction.  He
probably won't be going back to the lab, not after they discover
what he did.  It's not often that someone copies a part of their
own mind into a growing extender.

     He didn't have a choice, really.  The other Ryougas that had
broken through the inhibitors and developed a natural resistance
to them were mad, driven insane by the effort of breaking your
own mind.  Ryouga managed to centralize his own attack on his
sense of direction, destroying it completely but surviving
intact.

     The only safe way for an extender to break free of the
chains of an inhibitor was to have a natural resistance built in
before the inhibitors arrived.  Ryouga had no choice but to try
and implant his own immunity into a growing extender.  It was the
only way to see if it was possible, the only way to see if his
race had a future.

     Besides, he was in love with the Akane in question.

     He knew this when he first laid eyes on her projected final
growth report.  So beautiful... so innocent.  She'd never know
what they intended to do until it was done, the Ministry of Data
Biogen scientists using inhibitors to suppress the clone's
natural personality and render her docile.  It was a crime to do
something that horrible to a sweet girl like that, who couldn't
do anything to fight back.

     Ryouga gave her a weapon to fight their plans, and it had
worked.  Through careful work, he managed to let her grow, immune
to the inhibitors which were installed partway through her growth
cycle.  When the final day came, this day, she was ready to be
shipped to the fake address he gave them at his hideout.  She'd
be safe, secure, and the first in a new line of freemen.

     Then... something went wrong.  Chaos gripped the Biogen
department of the Ministry of Data today.  Ryouga wasn't sure
what went wrong, but through the myriad of transactions and
coverups he traced his Akane to the Saotome Dojo.  The fake stats
he had programmed into her purchase order had matched Genma
Saotome's order to the letter, and she was going to be a
replacement.

     At his hideout, he could have ushered her to safety before
anybody noticed.  Now the city was crawling with people, oddly
more than have ever been assigned to other free extender cases. 
Even the most dangerous of all free extenders, a Ryouga which had
gone insane, only merited a squad of Ministry of Sanitation
officers.

     Just his luck that the woman of his dreams was also the
subject of the largest manhunt in Tokyo's history.  And what was
this about someone protecting her?  Perhaps it would be good for
Akane in the end to have a protector, but that was the role
Ryouga had selected for himself... if she wasn't captured, this
other person might hide her away forever, never to be seen again!

     Ryouga cursed his rotten luck, running through the soaked
streets of Tokyo's night.  He picked another door at random, and
pulled it open.

     "Where is the Saotome Dojo?!" he asked.

     The six Ministry of Peace officers looked back at him,
confused.

     Ryouga looked around.  Ornate pillars... poor lighting...
marble walls... thirty foot seal of the Ministry of Peace on the
floor.  He had walked directly into the Ministry itself.

     "Why do you want to know?" one of the soldiers asked.

     "Umm.  Err.  No reason," Ryouga shrugged.  "Just looking for
a workout.  I'm due for a lesson."

     "Commander, we have a code yellow in the lobby," the soldier
said to the open air.  "Some Ministry of Data Ryouga who asked
about the dojo by name.  Orders?"

     "Hmmm," the air replied.  It was the voice of a woman,
musing over things the way one might muse over nuclear war. 
"Bring him to chamber twelve, I'll be right down."

     Ryouga tried to make a run for the door, only to find no
door.  The wall had silently slid closed, cutting off his escape
route.  He turned to face the soldiers, and was greeted by an
electrical arc from a taser rifle, putting him out like a light.

                              *

     Ryouga's vision un-blurred, trying to focus in the dim
light.

     He couldn't move; some kind of restraint was wrapped around
him, looped in various ways to prevent any of his limbs from
twitching.  Obviously whoever had him down knew a few things
about Ryougas; even with his naturally herculean strength, he
couldn't budge the bonds.

     "That will be all for now, Fritz," the female voice said
again.  Ryouga heard a door open and close, unable to see any
light or movement in the dark.  The voice hovered near head
level.

     "You've been a naughty little boy, Ryouga Hibiki," the voice
said.  "My, my.  Tampering with Ministry of Data property, trying
to implant your own immunity into another extender.  That's
illegal, you realize.  You should be dead by now."

     "So go ahead and kill me," Ryouga cheerfully suggested.

     "Ohohohoho!  I don't think so.  Not yet," the voice replied,
sliding around in front of him.  "Your usefulness is too great to
simply remove you from the picture.  I suppose you'll be wanting
some light before I continue?"

     "It would be nice, yeah," Ryouga spat.

     She turned on the lights.

     "K... Ko... KODACHI Kunou?!" Ryouga gasped.

     "That's Commander of the Peace Kodachi Kunou to you, clone,"
she warned, pointing the handle of a gymnastics ribbon at you. 
"I've already taken the liberty to pick your mind electronically
and learn what you've done, but for the life of me I can't tell
why you're putting yourself at such risk for another Akane copy. 
So, I've revived you to ask.  What is it about this one that has
you putting yourself in jeopardy?"

     "What should it matter to you?" Ryouga asked.  "I'm just
another extender, a sheep to you.  Don't think I don't know about
the inhibitors.  You've tried to hide them from the public, but I
work at the Ministry of Data and I know what they REALLY do. 
You're using them to make people with no free will."

     Kodachi neatly whipped her ribbon out, slapping Ryouga one
across the cheek.  "Not so.  Besides, you're talking to the wrong
Ministry.  If you have a beef with the extender program, tell the
MoD.  I just handle this nation's wars and conflicts.  I would
also be handling the sentencing of you and the other lawbreakers
if it wasn't for that blasted Kasumi's meddling... but that's
another matter.  Now, answer my original question; what is it
about this Akane that makes her special?"

     "I love her, that's what!" Ryouga snapped.  "Like you could
understand my suffering--"

     "Enough with the angst, clone," Kodachi warned.  "Drat.  I
was hoping you knew why the Ministry of Economics was so eagar to
get those two kids back.  What is it about them that has the
Ministries so alarmed?  I've scrambled my own forces of course,
not wanting to miss out on the fun, but I'd like to know why I'm
doing it.  Love, huh?  Pity.  I was hoping for something more
informative.  Do you know anything of this other one, the human
that seems to be helping her?"

     "I thought you were just interest in eliminating a free-
thinking 'clone'," Ryouga noted..

     "What, her?  Let the Ministry of Sanitation handle that, if
they're so keen on keeping order." Kodachi said, "My concern is
with the pair, but specifically the human.  It seems like BOTH of
them are in dutch.  What I need is someone who can get in close
and find out what's going on.  I believe that would be you,
Ryouga."

     "I'm not going to cooperate with any of your plans."

     "So be it," Kodachi nodded.  "You're free to go.  You'll
find your lab coat and silly umbrella by the door.  Remember the
Ministry of Peace for any of your later invasion needs."

     "Wh... wait.  I'm free?" Ryouga asked.

     "Since you know nothing more about the situation than I do,
yes," Kodachi nodded.  "Go seek out your precious Akane if you
want.  Just beware my troops when we find them."

     Kodachi whipped her ribbon out and snagged a lever next to
Ryouga's interrogation table, and pulled.  The restraints
uncurled themselves, the single strip of superstrong fabric
unwinding itself like a snake over Ryouga's limbs.

     "Now get out of here before I change my mind," Kodachi said,
pointing to the door.  "I'll have one of my guards lead you to
the door.

     Ryouga nodded, and grabbed his possessions.  Out the door he
went, under armed escort.  Kodachi watched him leave, and waited
for Fritz to return.

     Silly boy, she thought.  Shame he didn't know anything. 
Kodachi wished that the Tendos would be more open with her about
their little plots and plans; who was responsible for causing
this mess?  Her agents claimed it was the Ministry of Economics
that first went knocking at the door, starting the chase and
hunt.  Others said it started at the Ministry of Data earlier
today when her agents got into that shootout... covering up a
warehouse assault wasn't easy--

     "The results are positive," Fritz said, wandering into the
interrogation room.  "I think the programs took hold.  Ryouga is
now officially ours."

     "Glad to hear it," Kodachi nodded.  "Please send the fools
that were involved in this morning's fray up to chamber six for
debriefing."

     "How would you like them delivered?"

     "The usual way."

                         End of File
                         Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.2
                         Private use only