Ranma 1/2 : Ministry of Confusion
                              Part 5

           A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Most characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously.  If
     I ever even considered claiming that these were my own
     characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
     I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.)

     (Author's note : I've got the MoC web page up right now at
     Spatula City.  To get there direct, use :

     http://www.wam.umd.edu/~twoflowr/ministry.htm

     Note HTM, not HTML.  Thankee and on with the show.)

-=-

     "What a bummer," Raph grumbled, kicking a rock out of the
way of his progress down the subway tunnels.

     "I TOLD Jodan we should have stuck some bombs in it," Chao
said.  "I can't believe the Ministry of Sanitation found and
blasted the bejeezus out of our paint bot that fast."

     "They're getting sharper at the crime game," Raph shrugged. 
"I mean, used to be we could get a few walls decorated before
anybody noticed... this time, turn it on, it rounds a corner, and
BOOM, blown up.  How lucky for us to have two janitors standing
nearby when we turned it on.  I wish I was there so I could have
at least seen it go, but hey, nature called..."

     "Oh, they weren't nearby," Chao said.  "They must have been
hiding or something; I didn't even know they were there."

     Raph paused.  "Hiding?  The janitors don't hide..."

     "Wiry little red suited bastards," Chao said.  "Did you see
the looks on their face when they blasted the bot?  They jumped
out of the alley, unloaded some rounds, and exchanged high fives
with that stupid smile plastered across their mugs all the way...
Well, of course you didn't see it, number two does take priority. 
At least the 'bot looked cool going BOOM!  BLAM!  KABOOM!"  Chao
made lots of wild arm gestures.

     "Hiding and red.  Chao, pop quiz.  Which color does the
Ministry of Sanitation use?"

     "Red, why?"

     "Because you're wrong.  That's Peace.  Sanitation is blue."

     "Who cares?  It's all government and ample gunfodder.  The
element of fire doesn't care what colors you wear."

     "I care, because very likely they started looking for the
owner of that 'bot moments after terminating it.  Chao, very
slowly, turn your head and see if anybody's following us." Raph
suggested, in a perfectly calm voice.  "Don't make it look like
you're looking for--"

     "Hey, whoa!" Chao said cheerily, spinning around and walking
backwards.  "We've got visitors!"

     Raph cursed Chao's naturally dense nature and grabbed his
arm, bolting for the nearest hiding place.

     "Huh?" Chao asked, letting himself get tugged along.

     "You nitwit, they were SOLDIERS!" Raph cursed.  "They
probably trailed us all the way here.  We've lead them right to
HQ!  I thought you were playing scout this time around."

     "Weren't you?"

     "Down there!" Raph pointed, diving off the platform and
landing on the tracks.  He rolled off, under the alcove and out
of sight from the trailing soldiers, Chao scrambling behind him.

     "Crawl along this way," Chao pointed, "There's an access
tube that'll lead us back to the hideout.  We'll lose 'em for
sure that way, and be able to warn Jodan they're coming."

                              *

     "Excuse me, where's the subway exit?" Ryouga asked.

     "Subway?  You're in the sewer!" the sanitation worker said,
looking at the boy with interest.

     "SEWER?... nevermind.  Sorry to bother you," Ryouga
apologized, setting off in the wrong direction again.

                              *

     "Just our luck to bump into soldiers," Raph said, inching
his way along the air duct.  "Jodan's not gonna be happy that our
gag messed up, or that we may have to change locations again."

     "Jodan will get over it," Chao offered.  "He always does,
and then bam, it's on to the next gag.  Raph, don't you get sick
of the jokes sometimes?"

     "How so?"

     "We're not really doing anything for The Cause(tm)," Chao
said, creeping along the dark tunnel.  "No massive sweeping
uprisings, no riots, no uncovering dark truths that will forever
stain the image of the Ministries.  Nothing COOL."

     "Chao, we're just punks.  What were you expecting?"

     "Now, when the Tendos took over, there were some really
righteous uprisings.  Fire and protest and lots of nightsticks. 
Remember the riots?"

     "Yeah.  They ended a month later when we realized we were
better off with the Tendos than we were before."

     "Watch it, Raph.  That sounded vaguely positive."

     "Sorry, sorry.  Yeah, I know the Ministries are starting to
botch things up, but remember back when the Tendo administration
was new?  Back when Akane was running the MoP, not that whacked
Kunou girl."

     "Yeah, I remember."

     "Things were going great then.  We didn't have extenders, we
weren't at war and the economy was quite prosperous," Raph said. 
"Heck, I even had some government mural jobs lined up!  Where'd
it all go wrong?"

     "Things fall apart," Chao suggested.  "The center does not
hold."

     "Whoa.  That's really deep, man."

     "Thanks.  I wrote it myself," Chao boasted.

     "I never really liked the extender project.  Maybe that's
what kicked this whole mess off, since it was the first time a
Ministry did something it wasn't originally zoned to do," Raph
mused.  "Or maybe it was when Kodachi took the late Akane's slot
and decided to invade Asia.  Or maybe it was just time
deterioration.  Are you SURE you wrote that, Chao?"

     "Would I lie?" Chao asked.  "Me, I think everything was
screwed up from the start.  Like, when man crawled out of the
oceans kind of start.  What does Jodan think?"

     "He doesn't think anything's screwed up," Raph said.  "He
just thinks everything's gotten sillier and much more amusing."

     "Sounds like something fearless leader would say.  Speaking
of which, can we please crawl faster?  I'm getting
claustrophobic."

     "Don't panic, the opening's just ahead," Raph said,
pointing.  "Oh, YUCK!"

     "What?  What?"

     "Chao, did you just cut one?  Don't light a match!"

     "No, I didn't!" Chao protested.  "I swear!  Where IS that
smell coming fro... ahhh..."

     "I think I may be violently sick," Raph said, his vision
starting to go.  He groped for the air tunnel exit, a few feet
ahead, but couldn't reach it from his position and couldn't crawl
anymore...

     "Hey, cool!" Chao gurgled.  "Knockout gas C-16, MoP patent
#3526!  Nonflammable, but hey WHOOOAO.... the colors..."

     Chao's head hit the metal airshaft floor with a thunk,
dreaming happy little dreams of destruction and mayhem.

                              *

     "Looky looky what we found!" Henry Tuttle Wataru grinned,
pulling an arm out of the sliced-open ventilation duct.  "Larry,
get a torch over here."

     An identical Tuttle looked up from his paperwork, and passed
Henry a flashlight with an underhand toss.  Henry aimed the beam
into the shaft.

     "Whooo!  Live ones!  Madam Kodachi, we've got a few more
urchins here!"

     "Now you understand I want this one brought in separately
and NOT in the usual way," Kodachi said, nudging Jodan's sleeping
form with a bamboo umbrella.  The solider she was talking to
nodded, and hauled the boy away.  Kodachi walked delicately
through the Ministry of Confusion living room to the air grate.

     "Have you found something?" she asked.

     "Check it, miss," Henry beamed, beaming the light into the
shaft.  "Not one, but TWO terrorist yokels.  These must be the
two our lads spotted earlier.  They must've been crawling home
when we flooded the air vents with gas... didn't get real far,
did they?"

     "Two more Ministry of Confusion punks.  That accounts for
all of them.  Have a few of the stronger soldiers pull them out
of there and file them up with the other one."

     "Usual, ma'am?"

     "No, not the usual," Kodachi said.  "Tag them for chamber
one."

     "A form 45737/a then, yes?"

     "Whatever suits your fancy, just make sure they're placed in
chamber one."

     "Wot about the other two?" Henry said, pointing his
clipboard to the curled up figures of Ranma and Akane, dragged
out of the crash room by MoP soldiers.  "Never woke up, those
two.  Won't they be surprised to recover in one of the chambers? 
Rude awakening, I must say--"

     "Ranma is to be hand-delivered to my office.  Hand-delivered
CAREFULLY.  Import a table for the occasion.  I'll decide what
fun to have with him afterwards, once Nabiki is done with her
silly experiment.  He could prove to be quite enjoyable!"

     "Pardon, miss?"

     "You heard me, Tuttle.  Send Ranma Saotome to my office,"
Kodachi said.  "As for Tomboy Akane Saotome, I've already filed
the forms for her fate.  You'll find them upon arrival; put her
in chamber five and have her read and sign them."

     "Miss, I was under the impression we sort of wanted those
two dead..."

     "You had the wrong impression," Kodachi said.  "First of
all, the Ministry of Peace does not kill wantonly.  Second, we
couldn't cover this up safely anyway, there aren't any witnesses
around to confirm our story.  Third, I could never damage a human
as perfect as my dear Saotome-kun here.  Who'd have known I'd
bump into my mister right in a terrorist hideout?"

     "Odd behavior for you, miss."

     "Nonsense, and any further thought along those lines is
hazardous to your health," Kodachi warned.

     "Right as always, miss," Henry nodded.  "Alright, boys, tag
'em and bag 'em.  We've got some prisoners to ship."

     "I had hoped our little Ryouga clone would have taken care
of the messy business for us," Kodachi said, contemplating the
umbrella she was carrying around.  "Oh well.  I suppose it was
worth the one-time shot at it.  In the end, though, when you want
to have something done right, you've got to do it yourself."

     Kodachi cast the useless umbrella aside, and followed her
troops out of the subway, leaving the former headquarters of
Tokyo's greatest terrorist threat empty.  Empty save for one
person watching from a grate in the ceiling, bandanna around his
mouth to filter out the fumes.

     A few moments later, the grate crashed to the ground, a
sizeable fist indentation in it, bending the unbendable metal. 
Ryouga Hibiki jumped out of the ceiling duct, grabbed his
umbrella, and charged out the door blindly.

                              *

     Akane recognized the faint strain of elevator music as she
slowly woke up.  It was very much like being in a dental office.

     She wasn't in the floor of the subterranean hideout anymore. 
In fact, she wasn't on the floor at all, but strapped onto a
large red table.  Completely restrained, unable to escape...

     "Ah, yer awake," a familiar face said, peering down at her. 
"Greets.  Tuttle, Henry Tuttle Wataru.  Ministry of Peace. 
You're listening to some nice synthesized Bach, and I'll be your
torturer tonight.  Any special requests before we begin?"

     "M... Mi... Peace?" Akane asked, trying to wake her vocal
cords up.

     "I think I know wot you're thinking," Henry said, sitting
back on his office stool, pulling out his clipboard again to take
some notes.  "Here I am, fugitive from the law, trapped in a
debriefing room at the Ministry of Peace, most likely about to be
tortured to death.  It's quite common actually, most of the
people we drag in here think that!  Ha ha!"

     "Is it right?" Akane asked, deathly afraid.

     "Yup!" Henry grinned.  "Don't worry, you're not scheduled
for death for another three hours.  Until then, it'll just be
torture."

     Akane screamed inwardly, and pulled at the single-strap
velcro bonds.  The snakelike restraint didn't budge a bit, and
scraped against her skin in the process.

     "Calm down, miss, it's quite normal for living things to
die.  You might say we were born for it," Henry joked.  "I hope I
can make it nice 'n easy for you though.  Is my slap-happy,
cheerful disposition helping?"

     "No!"

     "Well, I tried.  'course, miss, there are OTHER options than
death.  You're quite the gal, you know, a real survivor," Henry
said, pulling a few forms off of his clipboard.  "The Ministry of
Peace is taking a special interest in you.  I've got some
downright strange orders here, you know.  I'm supposed to ask how
badly you don't want to kick the bucket, miss."

     "VERY BADLY!" Akane yelled.  "What did you THINK I'd say?"

     "Oh, I don't know.  Some of these rebel types are perfectly
willing to go down for the cause.  It's the people you meet at
this job which really make it enjoyable," Henry said, sifting
through forms.  "Okay, you've got an option plan here.  Just sign
here, please, and we'll continue from there.  You can read the
papers after you sign."  Henry placed a pen in Akane's restrained
hand, and shuffled the clipboard around under the pen tip,
signing her name for her.

     "What do I have to do?" Akane asked.

     "Don't know," Henry said.  "The forms are for your eyes
only.  Here you go, tell me when to turn pages."

     Akane nodded, and started to read.

                              *

     Ranma recognized the faint strain of elevator music as he
slowly woke up.  It was very much like being in a doctor's
office.

     He blinked a few times, trying to get the glaze that had
formed over his eyes to go away.  He could make out a series of
blobs, but nothing better than that.

     "Your experiment is so handsome, Nabiki!  Can I keep him
once you're done?  I promise to feed him and keep him warm and
safe."

     "Are you nuts?" a blob with a voice very similar to Mousse
yelped, enraged.  "Shampoo's productivity output has been halved
since she bumped into him!  She's too busy thinking happy little
thoughts to work.  She's also constantly telling me what a nicer,
stronger, better man he is than I am and how she's gonna marry
him.  I thought I was going to get some revenge on Saotome once
we're done."

     "Neither of you two are getting him," Nabiki concluded. 
"This is MY experiment, not yours, and I'm releasing him back to
his father once we're done.  It's only fair, considering the mess
he's been put through.  Kasumi backs me up on this."

     "That's right.  It's bad enough he's had to be a test
subject, but to leave him to a fate that horrible would be
unforgivable," Kasumi nodded.

     "Yeah, well, I don't back you up on this and neither does
Kodachi," Mousse said.  "Two way split.  He'll have to be kept
here until we decide what to do.  Easy target that way, sadly."

     "Oh boy!" Kodachi grinned evilly.  "Ohohohoho!  This could
be fun!  Ranma-kun, do you like fine leathers?"

     "Mousse, if you let Kodachi get him, you'll NEVER have a
chance at revenge," Nabiki reasoned.  "You think she'd let you
hurt him?"

     Mousse paused.  "Damn.  Alright, release him, I'll deal with
it later.  Sorry, Kodachi.  Ranma, are you awake yet?"

     "Yeah," Ranma gurgled.

     "Ranma darling!" Kodachi smiled, bounding over to his side. 
"Tell me, how did a cute little thing like you get mixed up with
this horrible, horrible little accountant girl?  Marry me and get
away from all this nonsense about going home."

     "I think she likes you, Ranma," Kasumi smiled softly. 
"She's been talking about you ever since she brought you back to
us!  And to think I always figured Kodachi to be a cold,
heartless girl."

     "I was just waiting for mister right," Kodachi said, making
a face at the elder Tendo.

     "Is that why you've taken me here?" Ranma asked.  "Because
I'm mister right?  I wouldn't doubt it, I've experienced weirder
tonight."

     "No, just completing an experiment," Nabiki said, "Hold
still, I'm not done yet."

     "What's that thing you're waving at me?" Ranma asked,
focusing on the beeping whirring box.

     "It's just a medical scanner, Ranma, relax."

     "I thought those things were the size of a room!"

     "When you run the Ministry of Economics, you tend to want to
travel light.  Okay, girls--"

     "Ahem," Mousse ahemed.

     "--and guy.  I can now declare Experiment-R a total failure. 
Oh well.  You can go now, Ranma, sorry about the mixup," Nabiki
said, pulling a lever next to Ranma's examination table.  The
restraint whipped back into place, letting Ranma slide down the
table and onto his feet, much to his own surprise.

     "What's Experiment-R?" he asked, turning to face Nabiki.

     "I was hoping something would be salvageable, but I guess
I'll just have to try again with someone else," Nabiki said. 
"I'll let you three know what I'm talking about later on in the
meeting.  Ranma, go, please."

     "I don't think so, not until you let me know why you've
captured me," Ranma said.  "I think it's reasonable to expect an
explanation."

     "It's classified, Saotome.  If you don't mind, we have a
meeting to run here.  Please exit or we'll have you escorted."

     "What's so special about me?" Ranma demanded.  "What's going
on?  Where'd you take Akane?  Where'd you take the others, for
that matter?  WHAT'S GOING ON?"

     "I'd like to tell you, Saotome-kun, but I can't.  Security?"
Nabiki called to thin air, prompting a small buzzing noise as
part of the wall slid away.

     Three large guards in red battle armor stomped out.  Ranma
cast a quick glance at them, annoyed, and turned back to Nabiki.

     "I'm not leaving until I get some answers.  My entire life
has been turned upside-down for no reason, and I want that
reason," Ranma said, pausing only to smash his elbow into an
exposed space in the armor of a guard that was about to tackle
him.  The guard collapsed, nerve-hit sending his mind spinning. 
"I thought you wanted Akane!"

     "Her?" Kodachi laughed.  "She's just an extender, Ranma,
nothing more.  It's you we wanted.  And now that you're no longer
useful, you can leave and return to your dull little life. 
Unless you'd like to stay on as my partner..."

     "I don't think so," Ranma denied, jumping over another guard
and kicking him in the back of the neck on the way down.  "Don't
you think I deserve the truth, Nabiki?  After all that's
happened?"

     "No," Nabiki said evenly.  "Not yet, no.  Maybe later.  For
now, beat it."

     "Why, you--" Ranma started, running towards Nabiki.  She
pulled out a small spray bottle and shot Ranma in the face, mists
swirling around his head.  Ranma choked and wheezed, and
collapsed, sleeping once more.

     "Oh my," Kasumi gasped.

     "Relax, I wasn't in any real danger," Nabiki said, toying
with the spray bottle.  "Ranma Saotome doesn't hit girls.  Still,
this is a pretty useful gadget.  You might want to market the
sleep gas sprayer for self defense, Kodachi.  I could do the
advertising for you."

     "Sounds good," Kodachi said.  "And very much in the spirit
of the new inter-Ministry trust we've formed!"

     "I'm so glad we've decided to not keep any more secrets,"
Kasumi nodded.  "It's better this way, you'll see.  I'll have
some men escort Ranma and Akane out so they can go home.  Nabiki,
if you will continue with the meeting?"

     "Got it, sis," Nabiki nodded, reaching for the light switch. 
A slide projector snapped on, casting an image of the boy who now
was sleeping on the floor, the image bouncing off Kodachi (who
was in the way).  Kodachi mumbled a quick apology and stepped out
of the light beam.

     "Ladies and gents, I present : Experiment-R," Nabiki said. 
"Here's exactly what I was doing with Ranma, and why."

                                   *

     "Poor bastard," Gentry Tuttle Akuyawa mumbled, wheeling the
unconscious form of Ranma Saotome down the hall.  "Kodachi ever
say what they did to him?"

     "You know better than to ask Kodachi about anything she
does, brother," Henry Tuttle Wataru warned, walking alongside his
own clone.  "Commander of the Peace orders me to ship him
upstairs, I ship him upstairs.  I finish up my work thirty
minutes later and she orders me to ship him back downstairs."

     "Mad world, eh?" Gentry grinned.

     "Mad world and I for one am glad I'm at the Ministry of
Peace to observe it," Henry nodded.  "We're safe here under her
rule, at least.  Looks like they worked over this one something
awful."

     "Really?  I can't see any bruises, lacerations or scars. 
Not the usual stuff."

     "Exactly, but he's sleeping deader than dead," Henry
commented, testing this by lifting one of Ranma's arms off the
wheelchair arm.  It flopped back down once he let go.  "Out like
a light.  Poor sop."

     "As usual, fellow Tuttle, you're always right," Gentry
nodded, sharing the camaraderie of cloneship.  He stopped the
wheelchair by the elevator and pushed the DOWN button.  "Didj'ya
hear, by the way?"

     "No, wot?"

     "New government policy.  They've pulled all the boys off the
streets they put there a few hours back and APOLOGIZED."

     "Smeg off!  You don't say.  Apologized for what?"

     "'said there woz a mixup," Gentry continued, as the elevator
doors opened and he pushed his load inside.  "Big government
confusion.  The news report even SAID it was a Ministry of
Confusion situation!  On authorization from Nabiki herself!"

     "I thought the Ministries hated that term.  It's demeaning."

     "Guess they're learning to lighten up.  Anyway, to prevent
future MoCs, the news guy said, they're adopting a new policy of
Trust and Truth.  It's a new day, my friend.  We're not going to
need to worry about one Ministry taking over anymore, they're
reaffirmed their stance towards helping the people and have
pledged to stop infighting."

     "Kudos to that.  Does your heart good to know that your
world leaders are getting along, eh?  Still, what a mess.  Did
they mention anything else about tonight's events?"

     "Something like a secret operation," Gentry continued. 
"They obviously couldn't say WHAT exactly just yet, but they
confirmed that it's over and all Ministries are up to date on it. 
Maybe they were testing some new combat robot and it got loose?"

     "Wot about this guy?" Henry asked, poking Ranma.  "I mean, I
thought he was the reason we were scrambling!"

     "Must have been a mistake," Gentry suggested.  "Look at it
this way.  Kodachi gets what she wants.  If this chap was really
a bother, he wouldn't be going home now, would he?  NOBODY leaves
the Ministry of Peace unless the Ministry of Peace wants them to
leave."

     "As usual, Tuttle, correctamundo.  Must've been a mixup."

     "Wot about the other one, the girl?  Mixup too?"

     "Oh, Kodachi had me process some forms with her," Henry
said.  "I wasn't allowed to look at them, of course, standard
signing-privacy rules.  I suppose it was a tax evasion deal or
something of that nature.  The girl seemed to understand, though. 
Calmed down quite a bit.  She's waiting for us in the lobby."

     "Who is she, anyway?"

     "Tomboy Akane Saotome," Henry said.  "This chap's wife."

     "Wot a strange name," Gentry said, as the elevator doors
dinged once more.  He pushed on the wheelchair, and ushered into
the lobby.

     Akane looked up from the endtable magazine she was nervously
thumbing through, with a worried look on her face as she saw
Ranma pushed clumsily along in the chair.  "My g... what did you
do to him?"

     "Don't know, miss," Henry said, as Gentry let the chair
coast to a stop.  "If I did, I wouldn't be authorized to say
anyway.  You can handle it from here, right?"

     "Yeah, I can," Akane said in a small voice.

     "And remember, those forms you signed are binding," Henry
said.  "Wouldn't want to see you in here again for going against
the law, right?  Nice gel like you shouldn't have to visit the
Ministry more times than she has to.  It's not right."

     "I... I promise I won't go back on them," Akane said,
uneasily taking Ranma's wheelchair by the handles.

     "Keep the chair," Gentry smiled.  "Our gift to you.  MoP
wouldn't want you throwing your back out carrying the guy.  Have
a nice day, miss."

     "I'll try," Akane nodded, and pushed the wheelchair ahead of
her towards the doors, hoping never to return again.

                              *

     "Nooobody knoooows... the trooubblleee I've SEEEEEN..."
Jodan sang badly, rattling an imaginary cup against imaginary
bars.

     "I'm just glad they didn't tie us up to that," Raph said,
pointing to the horribly uncomfortable-looking table.  "That's a
good sign.  I'm still worried, though.  Are they going to kill
us, Jodan?"

     "I think they shall treat us to a nice dinner, a movie, and
send us home with some lovely parting gifts," Jodan smiled,
staring at the ceiling.

     "You're nuts, Jodan.  We're deader than doornails," Chao
grumped.  "They're gonna make us burn away into nothing.  I've
heard they do that, they take you out of the picture completely,
without even a trace that you ever existed.  We're a thorn in
their side."

     "But we never did anything!" Raph protested.  "We painted
silly pictures on walls.  They want those jerks who are
impersonating us, the REAL terrorists.  Do you think we can
convince them we're not responsible for that stuff?"

     "No," Chao said.  "They'll probably shoot us the minute they
walk in.  Notice the red carpet; it's terrific for hiding
stains..."

     "Chao, man, you're really bringing me down," Jodan said. 
"Look at it this way.  The Ministry isn't holding us captive
beyond that locked door.  If they wanted to have fun with us,
we'd be on tables with flaming bamboo under our fingernails by
now.  Maybe they want to talk, congratulate us for our artistic
vision and send us packing.  Or they'll kill us.  Hard to say."

     "How can you be so jovial about this?" Raph asked.

     "Oh, it was bound to happen one day," Jodan said.  "Let's
face it, we're annoying little twerps.  We're not really
dangerous, but the government is great at removing annoyances
anyway.  You can't stop them, you know.  If we didn't go around
spraypainting walls, they'd find us guilty for something else. 
These dictatorships are all the same, they always get you in the
end.  There's no two ways around it, so why not take the one way
that'll provide a few yuks on the way out?"

     "Now you're bringing ME down," Raph muttered, leaning
against a wall.  "It's the waiting that's driving me nuts.  Would
they just leave us trapped in here to starve?"

     "I claim dibs on eating Chao in that case!" Jodan smirked.

     "That's awful!" Raph said, horrified.

     "Ain't it?" Jodan laughed.  "My bologna has a first name,
and it's J-O-D-A-N--"

     The door opened.

     Jodan lost his song partway through, but kept the smile.  He
backed away from the door, as did the other members of the
Ministry of Confusion, awaiting the inevitable.

     "You're free," Kodachi said, leaning in from the doorframe. 
"Go home."

     Jodan's smile fell.  "Excuse me?"

     "You heard me, go away," Kodachi said.  "I hadn't intended
on arresting you just yet anyway, but you WERE around when I
didn't need you to be.  You boys go play your little paint by
numbers games and I'll see you again soon, okay?"

     "Go home?  Wait, I don't get this," Jodan said, walking
forward.  "We're the Ministry of Confusion!  The evil plague that
threatens the city!  Aren't you the least bit angry about that?"

     "Of course not," Kodachi laughed.  "You're downright useful. 
Without a danger in the city, there's no way I'll be able to
wrestle crime rights away from the Ministry of Sanitation.  While
the threat is present, I'm on my way back to restoring this
Ministry's power.  Thanks for all your help."

     "We didn't do any of those things!" Raph said, getting the
nerve to speak.  "Interrogate us if you have to.  All I do is
paint stuff.  I'm not a terrorist threat."

     "Don't be silly, paint boy, I know that," Kodachi said,
losing her humorous tone.  "I know you're being impersonated,
too.  But you're the only ones I can drag in whenever I feel
like, and via truth test, PROVE to be the real Ministry of
Confusion.  I need evidence to prove I'm the protector of the
peace, you know, frame jobs look very bad indeed.  So, I need you
alive until I decide to pull you in."

     "But... that's..." Jodan started.  "EVIL!"

     "Observant!" Kodachi said.  "Ohohoho!  This HAS been a good
day.  I learn Nabiki's little scheme, find my ideal man, and even
assure my future as the enforcer of law and order.  I think I
shall have a nice dinner and turn in for the night.  Farewell." 
With that, she leaned out of view and bounded down the hallway,
giggling evilly all the way.

     "GET BACK HERE!" Jodan yelled, running out of the door.  He
turned left and right, looking for the Commander of the Peace. 
She was gone, vanished literally into thin air.

     "They left the door open," Raph noted, walking out of the
chamber.  "I guess we can go home now."

     "I can't believe this," Jodan snorted, kicking the wall. 
"They were going to kill us.  That's acceptable and in line with
the way governments are supposed to work.  How could they do this
to us, though?  Just let us walk?"

     "This is bad?" Raph asked, confused.

     "Yeah, it's bad!  We've worked so hard to get some respect,
and they treat us like some common punks!"

     "We ARE common punks, Jodan," Chao said, joining his
friends.  "You've said it yourself."

     "But we were nasty little punks!  Punks nobody in the
government liked.  We filled a need..."

     "I don't know about you, but as of today I'm not going to be
a punk," Raph said.  "It sounds dangerous.  If she's not lying,
we could be looking at trouble down the line.  We're the perfect
pawns for her power game."

     "Pawns," Jodan repeated.  "They are using us like pawns,
aren't they?"

     "Kinda," Raph shrugged.

     "Alright.  Let's prove them wrong.  Chao, you're getting
your wish."

     "I have a wish?" Chao asked.

     "Of course you do.  You know, your dream about taking the
Ministries and just burning everything down to the foundations? 
Destroying all of it?"

     "Yeah..." Chao said, briefly dreamy.  "You getting serious
now?  You ready to be the terrorist you claim to be?"

     "Damn ready," Jodan said.  "Maybe in the end we won't be
able to do anything about the Ministries, but I'm not going to
sit around and wait for them to pick us up again to die for THEIR
cause.  Chao, I want you researching ways we can damage these
ridiculous fireproof buildings.  Raph, we've got some planning to
do."

     "Now you're talking!" Chao grinned.  "Umm.  Should we be
talking about this INSIDE the Ministry of Peace?"

     "They never took us seriously," Jodan said.  "I doubt
they'll start now.  It'll be the last mistake they make."

                         End of File
                         Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.5
                         Private use only