Ranma 1/2 : Ministry of Confusion
                              Part 8

           A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Most characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi, obviously.  If
     I ever even considered claiming that these were my own
     characters I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where
     I'd be forced to eat my own lungs to live.)

-=-

     "Have a seat, Ranko," Miss Hinako said without emotion,
pointing to a nearby plastic chunk of educational seating.  Ranma
nodded and squeezed herself into the chair.

     "I apologize for doodling in class," Ranma said.

     "Ranko, not only were you late, but your attention was
shifted elsewhere.  You have not started your career here at
Furinkan out well," she said, plopping her more, umm, adjective
rear on the teacher's chair.  "I run a tight ship in my history
class.  History is an important subject, you know."

     "I know, I know," Ranma nodded.

     "I do NOT approve of delinquents who would detract from
their own learning and the learning of others.  Anything that
interferes in the educational process must be removed, or
rendered unable to interfere.  Gichi, for instance, has a habit
of passing notes in class, which distracts the mind.  Hopefully
now he'll stop doing that."

     "What did you DO to him, anyway?"

     "A tool of the trade," Miss Hinako said.  "I have a method
of dealing with delinquents, which the principal of this school
approves of.  It's a simple combination of a calming effect and
aggression remover; it is very good for breaking up fights, which
I am called upon to do quite frequently and will probably have to
do this afternoon... now, you've shown no fighting spirit, so all
I need to do is have a chat with you about your cartoons.  Keep
in mind that I may have to take added measures if you prove to be
a threat to your own education."

     "Err, yeah," Ranma agreed.  A threat to her own education? 
Sheesh, she thought, squirming in the desk, what is WITH this
teacher?  The last time Ranma saw someone this obsessed with
something was... was probably Kodachi, actually.

     "You may go," Miss Hinako said.

     Ranma paused.  Maybe it wasn't the best moment to try and
get on her good side, but the sooner the better... she had a cure
to find.

     "Miss Hinako, if you don't mind me asking, how'd you get
that 'tool of the trade'?" Ranma asked.  "And what exactly is
it?"

     "I do mind you asking.  You may go," Miss Hinako said,
turning to her daily attendance reports.

     "Please, Miss Hinako, it's a simple question," Ranma said. 
"Don't worry, I'm your trusted student.  You can tell me."

     "Trusted?  You're tardy and ill-attentioned.  Borderline
delinquency."

     "It was the Ministry of Peace, right?  They're the ones that
gave you the fwoosh zap argh."

     Ranma had said the wrong thing.

     Miss Hinako's head snapped up as if she had been hit to the
jaw with an uppercut.  "What do you know about that?"

     "Err, nothing," Ranma said, trying to cover her tracks.  "I
was just guessing... I mean, we all know they probably do some,
you know, experiments, which probably wouldn't look good if--"

     "I knew it," Miss Hinako said, slamming the attendance
folder shut.  "They sent you, didn't they?  Delinquents, all of
them!  Go tell those brats I'm not going back, you hear?  They
can send any number of people to try and bring me back, but they
can't make me go back!"

     "Whoa!  Ma'am, I'm not from the MoP!  Really!" Ranma
pleaded, squeezing her way out of the desk.

     "That's just what the rest of them said," Miss Hinako
replied, eyes narrowing.  She reached for her purse, and pulled a
tiny five yen coin out of it.  She slipped it between two fingers
and aimed the hole right between Ranma's eyes.  "And this is what
I did to them, too!  HAPPO FIVE YEN SAT-SU!"

     Ranma peered at the coin oddly, wondering if she was
supposed to be scared of pocket change.  Now, oddly glowing
pocket change was another matter, which this was; yellow glow
expanding outward until it wrapped itself around Ranma, winds
fwooshing by her head, like the winds of an atmospheric whirlpool
sucking her in...

     The not-always-a-girl staggered, as if gravity had doubled
in strength.  Miss Hinako was fwoosh zap arghing her!  Ranma
lurched for the door, grabbing the knob and twisting it as her
strength was pulled away...

     Coasting on the inertia of the door, Ranma yanked herself
out of the coin's light.  A new wave of strength, Ranma's second
wind, presented itself; Ranma shut the door behind herself.

     "Get back here, DELINQUENT!" Miss Hinako shouted, as the
window refracted a burst of yellow energy.  However, as she
charged out of the door and flashed the coin around, it targeted
nothing; Ranma was out of sight.

     Miss Hinako grumbled something unprintable and tossed the
coin in the air, catching it in her fist.  The teacher stomped
back into the office, shutting the door behind her.

     Ranma peeled herself off of a ceiling light fixture, and
dropped noiselessly to the ground below.  Exhaling a sigh of
relief, she set off down the hall.

     Okay; befriending her is now officially out.  Disable it is.

                              *

     Akane sat in the lunchroom, bored.

     Now, she thought.  Now was the time when Ranma would usually
crack the first cooking insult of the day.  Then Akane would
return fire with a few comments about good taste, and they would
eat a little, then argue, then eat...

     Not that she LIKED to argue with Ranma.  He was a pigheaded,
stubborn fool who never knew when to shut up.  But until now,
Akane never noticed exactly how friendless she was.  Yelling at
her baka fiancee wasn't much of a friendship, but at least it
gave her something to do, someone to talk to.

     All Akane could do now for her hour of lunchtime was pick
through a prepackaged school bento and listen to all the
conversation around her she wasn't involved in.

     She almost considered counting every grain of rice in her
lunch for something to do when another Akane sat down next to
her.

     "Hi there," the new Akane waved.

     "Oh, hello," Akane said.

     "Mind if I eat lunch here?" Akane #2 asked, pointing to her
still-wrapped mystery meat and rice.  Akane #1 shook her head and
continued poking at her food.  "Thanks.  It's nice to see a
familiar face, if you don't mind the old joke."

     "There must be fifteen other Akanes in this room," Akane
Tendo said, taking a quick survey of the students around her. 
"Doesn't that ever bug you?"

     "Heck no!  Why should it?" new Akane asked, unboxing her
lunch.

     "I guess it's supposedly normal... but it's still a bit
weird, seeing yourself copied off like that..."

     "We're all a little different," the new Akane said.  "None
of us are really the original Akane, though I really hope I can
be as great as she was one day.  Didn't you read about it?"

     "About what?"

     "Coping with Clonehood.  It was one of the booklets you got
when they shipped you."

     "Oh, that.  No... I was kind of mixed up at the factory, you
might say," Akane admitted.  "It was during that incident awhile
back."

     "Hey, me too!" the other Akane said.  "I got shipped out
then as well.  They screwed up the order and I was delivered to a
pizza takeout service."

     "That's... weird."

     "It's turned out okay.  I deliver pizzas to pay my way, and
I get free room and board.  I tend to get lost a lot on
deliveries, but the manager didn't think it was right to dump me
on the street before I figured out who ordered me.  See the Akane
over there?  The one by the water fountain?  She was delivered
that night too.  Someone ordered a Kasumi to act as a hotel
restaurant chef, but got her instead.  A few meals later she was
fired.  We can't cook, apparently."

     "I noticed," Akane nodded.  "I feel like I should be part of
some big ethnic group.  A thundering horde of Akanes."

     "I don't know, I haven't really felt like that," the other
girl said.  "It's like, yeah, it's cool and all to have so many
people around you like you, but I don't FEEL like I'm like them."

     "You too?" Akane asked.  "Maybe it's culture shock..."

     "Maybe.  I don't even have a proper name, since my purchase
order wasn't in the box.  For now, the manager just calls me
Wrong Way Tendo."

     "What should I call you?"

     "WW would be okay," Wrong Way suggested.  "Hey, you want
some dessert?  I've got a little extra change on me and I'm going
back for some yogurt."

     Akane examined the line for the dessert cart, which
stretched around the cafeteria nearly 3/4ths of the way.  "Isn't
the line a little long?"

     "It's okay, I'll just cut in," the other girl said.  "Sure,
it's against the lunch rules, but good yogurt waits for no one."

     Akane nodded, smiling.  She could get to like her.  Herself. 
Whoever.

                              *

     "Excuse me, is Doctor Tofu in?" Ranma asked the health room
nurse.

     "The Doctor is treating a sprained ankle in his office," the
Nabiki extender replied.  "If you'd like, you can wait here. 
What is the nature of your problem?"

     "Umm... upset stomach," Ranma said, forgetting that you
needed a REASON to show up at the health room.

     "Uh-huh.  Have you eaten lunch yet?"

     "No, not really..."

     "Since the health room is usually very busy, we recommend
having students with 'upset stomachs' each lunch first and return
later if the stomach is still ill," the nurse said, with a hint
of contempt.  "As you can see, we're rather packed."

     Ranma nodded.  It was hard to miss the skinny, exhausted
figures what were slumped against the row of plastic chairs. 
More delinquents Miss Hinako had to deal with, Ranma suspected. 
All of them shared a few things in common; zombielike moans and a
tendency to drool.  It kind of reminded Ranma of a scene out of
The Stand.

     "It's really bad," Ranma faked, grabbing at her stomach.  "I
may have to unload my breakfast right here..."

     The Nabiki didn't panic, and quickly stuffed Ranma's face
into a nearby wastebasket.  Ranma wiggled away, and stepped back
several paces, a small banana peel stuck to her hair.  "It's not
THAT bad," Ranma corrected, scraping the trash off.

     "Suit yourself.  All the chairs are occupied," the nurse
said.  "You can stand and wait, however.  Since your illness is
less common than the rest of these students, I'll let you see the
doctor next."

     "Weren't they here first?"

     "It cuts down on overhead and risk factor to let special
cases in first.  We get Hinako victims in here daily," the Nabiki
said.  "It's too common to rate it higher than other illnesses. 
When you heal the kids in THIS school, you need to manage time
against risk or else nobody gets treated.  You know how it is. 
Although we'd simply HATE to waste our good Doctor Tofu's time
with fakers..."

     "Faking.  Yeah, I can see how that'd be a problem."

     "Stomach any better?" Nabiki asked, poking at it with a pen. 
"You sound a lot calmer."

     "What?  Oh... aargrhhhh... oooohhh... no.  I'll go stand
over there," Ranma said, pointing to a point in the room furthest
from the nurse's desk.

     "Fine by me.  You're number 034," Nurse Nabiki said, passing
Ranma a ticket stub.  Ranma took it and faked a limp over to the
corner of the room.

     To avoid the stares of the Hinakoed students in the room,
Ranma read anything she could lay eyes on.  Various health and
safety posters were tacked up, scripted in cheery Ministry of
Sanitation blue; there was a poster of Kasumi Tendo on the wall
as well, with the slogan A SAFE SCHOOL IS A FUN SCHOOL.  Most of
this poster, at least the face, was obstructed by an oddly placed
plant, as if someone wanted people to keep from seeing it.

     In particular, Ranma noticed the doctor's union permit;
Larry Tofu, Member #36 of the Loyal Order of Tofus.  The Tofus
were the only extenders to recognize the benefits they could get
by forming a small ethnic group and unionizing; as a united
front, they pushed the law so Tofu extenders could use Tofu as a
last name instead of a middle.  Of course, Ministry of Data
stopped making them the moment the Loyal Order of Tofus was
developed, but that didn't stop the existing ones from pushing
the law in regards to extenders further and further.

     It couldn't be denied that the unionization of Tofu clones
was a good thing.  Tofu-established monthly meetings, checks and
balances, and a less paperwork oriented system meant you'd get
quick, effective treatment.  Most families knew at least one
Tofu, and relied on him for minor scrapes and injuries, since
Ministry of Sanitation medical centers were notoriously slow and
ineffective.  Some Nabiki extenders were imported to speed things
up, but for first and second aid, you just can't beat Tofu.

     "Now serving number 034," Nabiki called.

     Ranma chucked the ticket stub and walked over to the office
door, letting the football player on crutches hobble past him. 
Ranma slipped through the doorframe and closed it behind him.

     "You may have a seat," Larry Tofu said, finishing up a Loyal
Order of Tofu Treatment Postdiagnosis Form (one page, big print,
and very streamlined).  "Well now, what seems to be the problem?"

     "Actually, Doctor Tofu, I faked," Ranma admitted.  "Sorry. 
But I really, really need to talk to you."

     "Talk?" the doctor asked, looking up.  "I don't really have
enough time... can I fit you in tomorrow?  I really wish I had
more opportunity for interaction with the students, but Miss
Hinako really keeps my hands full..."

     "It's about that, actually," Ranma said.  "I came THIS close
to being... whatevered by her today.  I was wondering, is there a
way to turn off whatever power she has?"

     "Oh, certainly," the Doctor said.  "It's a very simple
procedure."

     "So why hasn't anybody done it?" Ranma asked.

     Larry considered the question. "I may have SOME time to
talk... if you're offering to try and stop her powers, that is."

     "Maybe.  I'm hoping I can, but I'd need to know how."

     "I would appreciate it if you did," Larry said.  "She's been
my largest epidemic for months now.  Other students have tried
and failed to stop her, but it doesn't mean that shutting the
power off is impossible."

     "So why haven't you done it yourself?" Ranma asked.

     "How long have you been at this school?" Larry asked.

     "Just today.  I transferred in."

     "Ah, so you don't know the whole story.  See, the principal
hired her specifically for her powers," Larry said.  "She has the
ability to suck the endurance out of a human being, tiring them
out and preventing them from engaging in strenuous activity.  A
positive side effect of this is an increased attention span;
unable to do anything physically, the victim has no choice but to
grab onto the other senses and amplify them to keep from falling
unconscious.  Since she's shown up, we've had a dramatic decrease
in school crime and an increase in grades.  That's good for the
school."

     "So you can't cancel the power because the principal would
disapprove of losing these benefits and fire you?" Ranma asked.

     "Not exactly.  While the Loyal Order of Tofus could land me
another job, my reputation could be in danger."

     "From the firing?"

     "No, from the power cancellation.  Let me give you some
background here.  The only thing that could give her those powers
would be a modified metabolism... very simple to do with pressure
points, actually, but it has to be applied in a very exacting
way, and has some bad side effects..."

     "You know what's up with her?" Ranma asked, surprised.

     "I told you I've been researching this," Larry said, getting
up to root through a filing cabinet.  "It's a very ancient
process, and was used in the old days until those who practiced
it realized it could drive the human mind to obsessive insanity. 
Apparently, someone recovered those shihatzu manuscripts and
tried them again.  The results haven't been easy on this school. 
What I've been trying to get done is a negation her ability to do
a power transfer, so she'd be a normal teacher and not a walking
vacuum cleaner... it's simply a series of pressure points to undo
the treatment... ah, got it.  Here's a printout of my file on the
cancellation procedure..."

     Larry Tofu unrolled a dogeared computer printout, and placed
it on his desk.  Ranma leaned over and examined it.  There was a
crude diagram of the human body, along with several techie
medical notes in the margins.  Five points were highlighted in
red; three on her left breast surrounding the nipple, and two on
her right buttock.

     "As you can see," Larry said, "If I was to apply pressure to
these points, I would be looking at extensive sexual harassment
charges.  My career as a healer would be in severe jeopardy. 
Hence, I'm not really eligible for this task."

     "I see," Ranma nodded.

     "Sometimes I wonder if it's worth throwing that career away
for the benefit of the students at this school," Larry said. 
"Still, if that were to happen, I would not be able to practice
medicine again, which would be less beneficial to society.  Now
you know why I secretly try to get students to do it."

     "Nobody minds this?"

     "The principal minds.  Miss Hinako obviously minds.  She
hasn't zapped me because she knows the school needs a physically
able doctor.  The teachers wish me well in my endeavors, but
don't want to help for the same reasons I have.  The kids like
the idea, since it means they don't need to fear her.  However,
some of the volunteers are a little TOO enthusiastic about the
job... you may have heard of the teacher-groping stories in the
news?"

     "Yes," Ranma lied.

     "That would be my fault for selecting inappropriate
volunteers.  If anybody asks me for the pressure points to do the
job, I try to predict the future outcome of such an endeavor. 
Typically I only pick strong students, and female ones."

     "Hey, I'm both!" Ranma bragged.  "Brawn and breasts."

     "Ahh... yeah," Tofu said, a bit embarrassed by Ranma's
casual tone about the b-word.  "Anyway, you can borrow the
printout if you'd like and try it.  But first, I need to ask you
what I ask most of my volunteers : Why do you want to cancel her
power?"

     "Huh?  Oh, you know, sick of what she's doing to the
students," Ranma rambled.  "Truth and justice and all of that
mess, you know?"

     "Funny, that's the same answer most volunteers give.  I can
only hope your intentions are pure," Tofu said, rolling up the
printout.  "Well, good luck, miss...?"

     "Ran-- ko," Ranma said.  "Ranko Ayukawa."

                              *

     Ranma peeked through the classroom window, scoping out the
territory for Miss Hinako.

     A perfect situation.   Ranma counted ten countertops, ten
students, and one room next to the front blackboard for
equipment.  It was Miss Hinako's Home Economics 101, her most
underpopulated class, where she'd be the most vulnerable.  Miss
Hinako stood at the front of the class in l'il girl form, the
power of age amplification having worn off.  All Ranma would have
to do is somehow get Miss Hinako in the equipment room, and while
she wasn't suspecting it, touch all five points and that would be
that.  It would look a little strange, but as a girl, the
confusion would be enough to let Ranma get away in time.  Yuriko
could send in a team to collect the powerless Hinako and Ranma
could become a man again.

     Ranma took a deep breath, and opened the classroom door.

     "...heat the water to boiling level, and get your noodles
ready," Miss Hinako said, going through the steps of today's
recipe.  "Put the noodles in and wait for it to bubble..."

     "Miss Hinako?" Ranma called, in a soft voice.

     "...let that simmer..."

     "Miss Hinako?"

     "...if it starts to turn brown..."

     "MISS HINAKO?!" Ranma emitted into the air at a higher
volume.  The class paused, all eyes turning to him, only 1/3rd of
which were zombified.  (Home Ec isn't typically a haven for
delinquents, just bad cooks.)

     "One moment, students.  Continue cooking, please!" Miss
Hinako said, and bounded over to Ranma in a single motion. 
"Ranko-chan, I happen to be in the middle of an important class
here!  Why have you interrupted me?"

     "I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier," Ranma said,
in the best Sad Puppy Dog voice she could manage.  "Could we talk
in that back room there?  I really feel bad about what I did..."

     "WEEEEELL... okee, but only for ONE minute," Miss Hinako
said, tapping her Lum watch.  "Come along.  And no funny
business."

     Ranma nodded, and followed the shorter girl to the door she
had scoped out earlier.  No window on the door; nobody would know
it had happened until it was too late, and Ranma had a clear
escape path to the class door.  Flee the building and never show
up again, that's all she'd have to do to be in the clear.

     Ranma was spending so much mental power to memorizing and
concentrating on her plan that she almost missed a familiar
voice.

     "Hi, Ranko!" a happy tone from the third counter bounced,
waving a kitchen implement at Ranma in greetings.  Ranma
recognized it as the girl who talked to her in the hall earlier,
and gave a quick wave before entering the door to the back room
and closing it behind herself.

     "Very well, Ranko-chan, what is it you wanted to say?" Miss
Hinako said, turning to face her.

     Ranma put her fingers in preset positions, inhaled, and
charged across the room.  Miss Hinako, not expecting the attack,
was easily scooped up in Ranma's arms as the larger girl made for
the five pressure points and hit them each on the dot.  The
printout said she'd have to hold it for three seconds... one...
two... quit squirming... THREE and still holding!

     DONE!

     The plan worked perfectly.  Ranma had to restrain herself
from breaking out into evil laughter right there and then--

     "Hinako-sensei, I think something went wrong with my
noodles," the familiar voice said, as the door clicked open. 
"They... AIEEE!"

     Ranma freaked, losing her grip as the hallway girl dropped
her soup in surprise, dousing everybody in the room.  With HOT
water.

     The now boy didn't feel anything, but KNEW what had just
happened; the plan's blueprint changed from the confusing scene
of a transfer student grabbing her teacher to some unknown
perverted bozo groping a defenseless little girl.

     "AIIEEE!" Miss Hinako shrieked, in that perfect way little
girls can shriek, jumping away from the offending Ranma.  "YOU
HENTAI!  YOU MANIAC!"

     Ranma bolted for the door, carefully pushing the hallway
girl aside.  She bounced off the classroom wall, large metal
object on her back CLANGGGing like a church bell as Ranma raced
by like the wind for the class door.  A success or not, he was in
serious trouble and had to leave.  NOW.

     "HAPPO FIVE YEN SAT-SU!" Miss Hinako yelled, charging by
with a coin already in hand.  Ranma ducked and slid diagonally
across the school hallway, rebounding off the lockers for
momentum and changing direction in time not to get hit by the
yellow blast of light.  Several students in the classroom weren't
as lucky, thuds of exhausted bodies echoing as Miss Hinako
rounded the corner and was into the hall.

     HOW was she still doing that?! Ranma asked himself mentally. 
He was sure he hit the right points, and for the right amount of
time; according to the cheap color copy, that should have turned
her yellow death blasts off!  What went wrong?  WHAT WENT WRONG?

     He rounded corners with lightning speed, seeking only an
exit.  Now was not the time for wondering what went wrong; now
was the time for escaping ground zero.

     The girl with the huge spatula on her back watched the two
run far and fast out of sight from the class window, not sure
what to make of the situation.  The other students crowded around
the window, wanting to catch the last visible moments of the
fight.

     "Hey, Ukyou, wasn't that--"

     "I don't know," the spatula girl said.  "It LOOKED a lot
like him..."

     "Man, you must feel awful, him going after your own teacher
like that!  That's LOW."

     "I'll feel awful later," Ukyou dismissed.  "For now, I want
to find out what's going on.  Watch my noodles, I'm going
outside."

                              *

     Ranma ducked through the cafeteria crowd, weaving in and out
of student clusters.  Yuriko was going to be pissed, he grumbled
to himself.  How could he have botched a simple detective job
like this so bad?

     Well, he was only human.  Humans make mistakes sometimes. 
"It's not life or death deal," Yuriko had said... he could put up
with another attempt to get his manhood back.

     For now, he had to make sure he didn't lose it to an
enraged, coin-carrying muppet.

     Yellow arcs of energy soared over his head as Miss Hinako
accidentally hit the students he deliberately sought cover
behind.  A wide, sweeping arc of lunchers collapsed in their own
Mystery Meat as Ranma hunted around the massive cafeteria for
exits.

     "GET BACK HERE, DELINQUENT!  CROSS-DRESSER!  HENTAI!  HAPPO
FIVE YEN SAT-SU!" Miss Hinako shouted, mowing down everything in
her path.  Ranma slid under a table to duck the wide-angled beam,
ignoring the groans of the people he put in Hinako's crosshairs.

     There!  A small door, just about man-sized, marked WAY OUT. 
It had a fire alarm attached to it, but frankly, Ranma had
already raised hell.  Raising it a little more wasn't going to
hurt matters that much.  Ranma crashed into the door elbow-first,
pushing the door open and triggering the alarm.

     Bursting into the new day dimness of light, Ranma staggered
wildly across the sidewalk.  The door swung shut behind him; that
wouldn't stop her for more than a second, though--

     With a high pitched whine, a grey blur zipped past Ranma's
vision, panning the noise from his left ear to his right ear. 
The blur made a tight U-turn, and halted right in front of him,
tires squealing against the pavement.

     "Get on!  Quick!" Ukyou said, pointing to the back of her
scooter seat.  Ranma hopped on, resisting the urge to ask 'Who
are you?' or any other potentially time consuming questions. 
Ukyou twisted the throttle and zipped away.

     Ranma turned his head, watching Miss Hinako shrink out of
sight as the moped sputtered along at unsafe speeds.  There was a
bit of yellow light, but Ranma was out of range already, leaving
his botch job far behind him.

     The moped pulled into traffic, the light traffic of taxis
and bicycles that roamed the daytime streets.  He was safe.

     "Who are you?" Ranma asked, now that he had the time.

     "Don't you know?" Ukyou asked.  "It's me."

     "I can see it's you.  Who you are is still in question.  Do
I know you?"

     "Of course you do, silly, I... oh," Ukyou said, cutting off
her own sentence.  "Uh oh."

     "Uh oh?  What's uh oh?  What's going on?  Why're you helping
me?  Where are we--"

     "Zip it for now, please?" Ukyou asked.  "I'll explain later. 
I think I might know what's going on, and if I'm right, I've got
to get you out of sight before anybody spots us."

                              *

     The moped kicked up sparks as Ukyou jumped the street curb,
parking it against the side of a building.

     "Okay, we're home," Ukyou said, hopping off the bike. 
Ranma, who was still clinging to her for balance, was pulled off
the bike as well.  "You can let go now."

     "How can you RIDE that thing?" Ranma asked, stepping back. 
"It wobbles around like gelatin and barely takes corners without
tipping over!"

     "It was the best I could buy for transportation, considering
my profit margin," Ukyou shrugged.  "Just a failed attempt at
food delivery.  Here, inside.  I think someone you want to meet
is in there."

     "Can I ask who you are first?" Ranma asked.

     "Sorry, I forgot," Ukyou apologized.  "Ukyou Kuonji.  This
is my restaurant of sorts, Ucchan's... don't you remember it?"

     "Lady, I've never been here before in my life," Ranma
replied.

     "That's what we suspected they'd do.  Come on inside," Ukyou
motioned, pushing the door curtain aside for Ranma to enter. 
With apprehension, Ranma tested a step into the building... not
seeing anything explode or jump at him, he dared another few
steps, until he was inside.

     "RANMA!" Ukyou called to the back of the restaurant.  "We've
got company!"

     "Customers?" Ranma said, without saying it.  He felt his own
mouth, wondering how it could make the sound without actually
open, and position it across the room...

     "Not quite," Ukyou said.  "Come on out and meet him."

     Another Ranma stepped out of the kitchen.

                         End of File
                         Ministry of Data record GH.3704.7734.8
                         Private use only