A Future We'd Like to See 1.46 - All The News That's Fit to Print By Twoflower (Copyright 1994) -- NOTE : This is the raw text version of this REALLY experimental 'story'. Check etext.archive.umich.edu for the actual ZIPped MSDOS VGA interactive newspaper. This isn't as much of a story as it is a supplement, y'know, like the neat freebies Infocom used to stick in their games, like forms and booklets and little buttons reading DON'T PANIC. Even if you lack an MSDOS or VGA, all the files are stored in PCX format, which is relatively readable across platforms. -- To those of you reading this inside the ZIP, if you experience bugs, just say 'Oh well' and read this instead. #46 is more or less just an experiment. MACROWORLD DAILY NEWS sunday morning ed. HELP To use the Macroware News Viewer, simply click your pointer on the menu bar over the name of the section you want. Repeat the process for additional items. Click the black box on the side to clear the screen. MEMO Greetings to all Macroware employees. It's about time I used this silly memo thing for a state of the company update. First of all, the guys down at debugging need to get off their butts and hurry up with the Macroware Polygon Sculpter. The boys up at software need it to finish off several products, and we need the revenue from PS for funding to other projects. Shake your bacon and get that done. Second, I've been getting complaints about my manner of talking in these memos. Listen, gang, I've been running this company for fifteen years, and I know what works. Dancing around the subject in legalese gets NOTHING done. I recommend a policy of real speech to all departments on a trial basis. You should see a 10% increase in productivity. Third, the Help android from the hardware department is still missing. If anybody sights Help (a small robot with red hair) please call hardware. That's all. - William Doors LOCAL NEWS MACROWORLD COLONY, SOUTH SIDE - Five school truants were caught in the process of playing baseball at the disused Macroware Arco High School. "We were sick of that VR mockery of the real school," one, Tiddly Redmore said as he was being taken to Security for questioning. "Since everybody and their dog are jacked in all day, we figured it wouldn't hurt to put some dummy programs in our place and go play some ball during the day." However, the boys were violating the 9 AM - 12 PM curfew, and will be held under house arrest for the next week. Quote Tiddly, "Big deal, we're stuck in there anyway." The school review board is opening discussions on the validity of the virtual schoolhouse next week in /buildings/edu/review/offices. GLOBAL NEWS THE WHITE HOUSE, TERRA. A march of a thousand supporters of AI rights marched on the white house last Wednesday. Local police were sent out to break up the protesters. Due to a confusing order from President Doofman himself, the police accidentally opened fire, damaging several dozen of the protesters, who are now recovering in several Red Cross repair bays. "I didn't want them to slaughter the guys," Doofman said at a press conference shortly afterwards. "See, I calls up the policy guys, and I say be good chaps and let them have it. I MEANT the copies of the new AI Civil Rights Bill I gave the messenger, but apparently the messenger relayed the verbal bit before handing over the copies. So the police shot them. What a mix-up! It's still like this that make being president interesting. Was anybody hurt?" "I don't understand why if the PRESIDENT himself insists on the AI Civil Rights Bill that the Terran Council has refused to even hear it," quoted AI leader Number Two. "He IS the most powerful person in the galaxy according to law. What we need is to elect some artifical intelligences to the council, which is why I am announcing my candidacy at this moment." The council was unavailable for comment. LOCAL EVENTS At /buildings/rec/gymnasiums/small/three, there will be a ping-pong championship open to all residents of MacroWorld. Thursday, 8 PM. A 'Back to Nature' hike is planned starting at /simulations/outdoors/trail. Please contact fred4@macroware for more details. Career day is coming up, and we urge each department to send one speaker to the virtual schoolhouse. This way, a more diverse selection of careers will be presented to our youth. Congratulations are off to je'y2 and r'ddry1 for the birth of their baby girl, e'rry1. Please leave gifts at e'rry1@macroware. The schedule for cockroach control is as follows; North Side, Monday. South Side, Teusday. West Side, Wednesday. East Side, Thursday. Central Office Hub, Friday. Please report any excess bugs to bugcon. ADVERTISEMENTS PONG MONDAY IS HERE! Get the latest release in the Pong series, PONG KOMBAT XVII at /stores/games/compuslaughter! NOW with added organs! Hurry, before the author collapses from exhaustion getting the endless sequels done! Would you like a portrait of yourself or a family member hanging in your home directory? Contact scanart@macroware. Reasonable prices; reasonable filesizes. THE NEW CHARIOT XL50, capable of handling your nourishment and excretory needs WITHOUT the inconveince of jacking out. Available from your local Chariot dealer for 0.0% financing! You can't pass up a deal like this!