A Future We'd Like to See 1.51 - Tales of the Sunny City, Act III By Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne (Copyright 1994) (With a special nod to Mike Finn) Blind spots, to use the vernacular, SUCK. I've got too many of them and it shows... I can't observe beautiful women correctly. I can't observe my friends correctly. I can't even observe myself correctly. I continued opening the cabinets, looking for the device I knew was here. It's a standard tool of the planetary engineering trade, so they HAD to have it in the lab. I had seen them use it before, changing the cloud patterns... Before, I thought I was able to observe my friends perfectly. I mean, look at it, they were practically open books; we had the artist without a clue, oblivious to his own visions in the same way fish are oblivious to the water they lived in. We had the hacker/driver who can't decide which career she really likes, and treats those who disrespect her harshly. Very common people with very common problems. They were also dating, and that's the part I messed up on BIG TIME. I let myself cave to rumor mill and my own incorrect assumptions. A good psychologist can cut through the cheese and get to reality. I found it nestled among a dozen other toys I couldn't recognize. The label on this box was clear, though; it would do what I wanted it to do. I took the box under an arm and slipped through the doorway, careful not to trigger the security beams I knew were there. I couldn't tell if my friends hated me now or not. I haven't been making myself easy to deal with lately, obsessing over one goddess after another, generally being an ass. That would be okay, even if it was happening on a more regular basis than before. The incredible miscalculation which I should be ashamed of is the relationship between Benton and Jody. I feared what would happen if I accidentally lost control and tried to pick up a heavenly body that I knew was claimed... only to find out no claim was staked. Talk about your mistakes! I ducked around a few other security beams, patterns of lasers embedded in my head. I researched well for this gag; it was to be my redemption to my friends. My statement of "YEAH! Mitch is back and he's bad! No more rampant skirt-chasing, no more sniveling little wimp who misjudges people. No more spots hindering his mind-sight. He's gonna pull the ultimate gag and get your respect back, and his own." Those blind spots were going to be whisked away in one fell swoop. And this little box, plus three spaceliner tickets, would do it for me. Really, I could do the gag solo if I wanted to, but it was imperative that my friends be around to KNOW that I was back to normal. I would return to the manipulative, ego-ridden user of people I was before, blind to nothing. That in itself is somewhat bad, hey, but I just gotta be me! (mental grin) Now, being a psychologist, I realized this was a nice little self-destructive path I was forming for myself, paved over irrational fears. Of course, although my subconsciousness realized it, my personality would have no truck with it. No; this was the best way to prove myself. Screw rationality, I had a mission to do. I slipped out the propped-open door, taking the chunk of rock that propped it and throwing into the bushes. I ran over to the Traffic Smasher, dropping the box into the back seat with Benton and hopping over the door into the front seat. "Floor it!" I commanded. Jody shrugged, and drove away at normal speed (which was faster than flooring it, actually). "What were you getting? Old personality profiles or something you left in your locker?" Benton asked, examining the box oddly. "Hey, isn't this from the Planetary Engineering department?" "You bet it is," I grinned. "This, my friends, will top anything we have ever done before. I've got it planned to the T. We're going to stop the rain." "It's not raining," Benton said. "We'd know by now. We're in a convertible, Mitch." "Not here, silly. The rain on C'atel," I said, presenting the tickets with a flourish. Jody didn't flinch, although the ROVER swerved slightly in surprise, narrowly colliding with a hauler. "Three tickets?" Benton asked, examining them. "Seats 18A, 18B, 18C on the 204 to C'atel." Benton paused, assembling these facts in his head. "You're going to stop the rain ON C'ATEL?!!" I grinned back. "Exactamundo. I figure we'll be giving them a break. It's not good to soak your planet twenty-nine days out of thirty." "That's... THAT's..." Jody started, keeping one eye on the tickets and one eye on the road. "Rather amusing, actually," Benton smirked. "I kind of like the concept. Mitch, old lad, this is top notch work. So what's the plan in full detail?" "The 'liner leaves tomorrow," I explained. "We've got three economy class seats on a five hour flight across the galaxy to C'atel. We arrive, we take a tour up the Star Scraper -- you know, that big observation tower in the center of C'atel City? Anyway, once up there, we climb up to the roof and set this puppy off. The machine works its magic, the clouds fade away, sunlight comes in and we can claim to have pulled the best gag of the entire summer season!" "Impressive," Jody admitted. "Can't wait to try this out." * "Count me out," Jody said, shaking her head. "I'm not going." I thought I had planned out every last detail of this journey. Foreseen all obstacles, all possible problems. But as mentioned, a blind spot got in the way; Jody didn't want to leave her rover in an airport parking lot. "I mean, birds'll crap on it," Jody complained. "That stuff SETS IN if you don't wash it away. Or maybe someone'll steal it. I'm not up for a manhunt this time of year to get my car back! Or worse... if someone doesn't make a turn quick enough and SCRATCHES THE PAINT." "She's got a point," Benton said. "*I* wouldn't want to be around if she came back and found a dent in the rover." "Jody, if anything happens to the Traffic Smasher, you have my permission to knock me silly," I promised. "I'll do worse if my baby gets totalled, Mitch. Count on that." "So you'll come along?" I pleaded. "Well... alright. I don't see why, though. It's not like you'll need any computers hacked." "We might. You never know. Now can we get to the gate? The ship leaves in fifteen minutes," I reminded. We nearly had to drag Jody away from the car. The two had some kind of magnetic bond. Eventually the bond broke and we got to the liner in time, however. * Although Benton wished we hadn't. "More elbow room, man, I can barely turn around to look out the window," Jody requested. "If I give you any more elbow room, I'll have to saw my elbows off," Benton noted. "I hate economy class." "It was all I could afford," I reminded them, clutching my box-o-rain-stopper close. "Don't worry, I'm not regretting this trip. Just that economy class is a pain, really. Gotta suffer for the art, I guess. Hey, where's our complementary bags of honey roasted peanuts?" Jody peered over her seat. "Looks like the stewardess is only two rows away. She'll be here soon enough. Didn't you eat before we left?" "Well, yeah, but I LOVE honey roasted..." Their talking faded into the background as I grappled with my willpower. I had noticed the stewardess when we first boarded... ALL of her. Every instinct screamed out to launch into 'charming' mode, but I had sworn not to let anybody turn my eye from the gag. Not this time. I had done that enough times before. But man, LOOK at her! You can see intelligence burning in her eyes! A charming personality and a mind that can deal with complex concepts and stimulating conversation. She had large breasts to boot... no, fight, fight it... "Hello, welcome to Monotony Spacelines," the stewardess said, leaning over to talk to all three of us. I refused to look down her shirt. "Can I get you anything?" "I'll have a soda," Jody requested. "Do you have any peanuts?" Benton asked. "Will you go out with me?" I blurted, unable to restrain myself any longer. "Yes, we have soda. I'll get you some peanuts sir. No, I won't go out with you," she delivered, boom-boom-boom, rapid succession. She handed over the beverage and foil baggie, then continued down the aisle. "Look, guys, sorry about that," I apologized profusely. "I tried, really..." "Hey, Mitch, it's okay," Benton laughed, ripping open his baggie. "Man, you looked CONSTIPATED before. I'm surprised you hadn't let it out when we got on board." I sulked down in my seat. Things were not going as well as I had hoped. Mitch's Five-Step Plan to Sight Recovery had taken a slight downturn. * We stepped off the gate, more or less intact yet slightly compressed by the seats. Benton dusted some salt of his shirt, and scanned the terminal. "Okay... luggage rack is over there. I'll get the bags. Jody, you go pick us up a rental car...." "Hey, take a look!" Jody said, pointing in the other direction. "High High uniforms! Maybe we're not the only students 'vacationing' here." "Can you recognize them?" I asked, a bit of dread creeping into my afterbrain. "No... oh, they're coming over here. What's with the little happy-cloud badges?" Jody asked. "Only the Planetary Engineering guys wea... umm." "Run?" Benton suggested. "And hide," I confirmed. "It's the guys with our weather conditioner!" one of the three students yelled out. "GET THEM!!!" So we ran, Engineers behind. Odds are they traced the tickets and spotted me leaving the building, box in tow. Okay, minor setback. First we deal with them, then the gag can proceed normally. How do we deal with them? HOW?! I COULD turn around and start digging through their minds, but it only works on surprised people, who have naturally lowered defenses. Crazed technicians who wanted your blood didn't fall into my vulnerability window. "Dive into the next door you see! Then split up!" Benton yelled, breath huffing. I spotted an EMPLOYEES ONLY door up ahead, pulled it open, and ran directly into a wall. Two minutes passed, my mind swimming around the nowhere land of unconsciousness. What idiot puts a brick wall directly behind a DOOR? I mean, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the simple two-way portal? When I came to, I noticed a few things. One was that the three Engineers had recovered the box and were arm-twisting my buddies. The other was the small crowd of salesmen bearing DOORS, INC suitcases, wondering why I tried to enter the new X- 306 prototype model leaning against the wall. I would have sat there and mused on the sheer silliness of the entire situation if it weren't for the fact that an enraged engineer had pulled me to my feet and was shaking me around. "Thought you could steal our brainchild and get away with it, huh?" the Engineer spat. "We don't take kindly to pilfering students." "Hey, I was going to return it once I was done..." I lied, trying to break the grip. Surprisingly muscular for High High students... must be all the heavy equipment they lifted on a daily basis. There was a high-pitched scream of pain, and one of the engineers collapsed to the ground. Apparently Jody had managed to work one of her hands to crotch level, and done something too horrible to mention. She elbowed the guy in the stomach, and ripped open her computer-storage satchel. Before anybody could react, she had a neural jack cord wrapped around the neck of my captor. I dropped from his grip, tumbling to the floor. "Okay, let go of the artist there and nobody gets hurt," she hissed. She was in Full Tantrum Mode; not to be reckoned with. Like most humans, the Engineer behind Benton panicked at the sight of this out-of-control girl, and let go of Benton. "Over to the terminal," she said, nodding her head back to the gate we had left. "Hey, where's the liner going next?" "Yttia, according the timetable," Benton noted. "It departs... now, actually." "Good enough," she said, letting go of one end of the cord, and pushing her captive through the boarding gates, much to the surprise of the attendants. She grabbed the other two by a shoulder each, and pushed them through the gate just before it closed, airlock sealing. "Assholes!" she yelled after them, kicking the hatch. "Hmph. Some people. Like they can't deal with one missing gadget from their toybox... let's go rent that car and get on with this, alright?" We nodded, simultaneously. The plan seemed back on track, at least. * Jody sulked in the back seat, arms crossed. "Look, no offense, but it's better that I'm driving," Benton insisted. "You don't know the local maps or traffic patterns, and that combined with your normal operating speeds equals accidents. We need to get back home intact, you know." Jody just kept up her angry glare. I hunkered down in the passenger seat, trying to avoid the incinerating stare of a driver scorned. This wasn't going well; Benton was really hurrying along, Jody was angry, and the rain was making everybody depressed. Once we got rid of the weather, hopefully things would get better. "Hey, Mitch, check the map. Where's the Star Scraper?" I unfolded the incredibly thin map, ripping it slightly. I searched the paper in a binary fashion, dividing up the quadrants until I had-- "Never mind," Benton said. "I see it. JEEZ, that thing's huge!" He swung the car around a corner and rolled down the street, coming a gradual rest in front of the structure. "Alright, this is it!" I cheered. "The biggest gag in High High history. You guys pumped?" "Whee," Benton stated. "Yahoo," Jody added. "Come come now! You should be happier. I mean, this is a big deal. We're STOPPING the RAIN!" "I dunno, I guess it's just not the same unless it's in the city," Benton said. "Nobody we know'll see it. But hey, we've come all this way, might as well try... umm... Mitch?" "Yes?" I asked, opening the weather control device's box. "The tower's closed." I stopped unpacking the box, and turned to look out the window. At the base of the tower was an elevator. And on that elevator was a sign. And on that sign were the words SORRY, CLOSED FOR REPAIRS. "This is not a problem," Mitch said. "We just go up there anyway. So it's being repaired! Probably just a leaky water fountain or a broken window or something." "I dunno, looks to me like the elevator's busted. Notice the broken cable?" Sure enough a frayed end of cable swung, unconnected, about twenty feet up. Hmm. "Can we set it off on the ground?" Benton asked. "Not that I know of. It needs to be set off high in the air..." "Well, we're screwed," Jody said. "Fun trip. Let's beat it." I paused. No, we couldn't 'beat it'. I came here for a reason : repair myself. And dammit, it was GOING to happen. I scanned the skies for something, ANYTHING that could get us up that high. "Jody, fire up the palmtop. See that traffic shuttle up there?" I asked, pointing to the tiny shuttlecraft, barely visible through the rain. "Bring it down here if you can." Jody shrugged. "Alright. Shouldn't be too much of a challenge, actually..." she jacked in, and began wandering around the deep thought of a computer user. "Traffic controller... not too much ice, just basic security. Okay. Is there a light blinking on the shuttle?" Benton leaned out a window, gazing upward. "None I can see." "How about now?" "Ah! Little red light?" "Okay... that means it's shuttle number two. I'll bring it down, but I need you two to keep me from crashing it. Give me directions." "Alright..." I said, unbuckling and hopping out of the rent- a-rover. I stared upward, shielding my eyes from the downfall. "Left a little... no, MY left... okay... watch that roof..." Gradually the ship descended, making a flat-surface landing on the street. The hatch popped open, and a very confused pilot stepped out. "Hey, you kids!" he called. "Do me a favor and call the C'atel Traffic Department! My shuttle just broke down." "You two stay here," I said, whispering to them through my rolled-down window. "I'll handle the pilot." "But--" "Don't worry, I can take him," I smirked. Jody had her hacking skills, Benton his... well, drawing skills, but I still had my analysist's edge. Pilots did not fall into a blind spot. I examined the pilot. Okay, no physical signs of trauma... very average, probably doesn't like his job, bad home life... I can harp on that. "Hello!" I called out, sending out waves of trust and compassion. "Say, tell me about your father..." * "I have offices on Terra," I said, handing the sobbing pilot one of my business cards. "If you want to talk, I'm there for you. I can conduct by holophone if need be. That'll be fifty credits for this session." The pilot nodded, pulling out his credit chip to transfer the money. "What should I do now, Mitch?" "Ah, just get a cab and go home. You should tell your wife about your experiments wearing her clothes, though. Have strength, you'll pull through." The pilot shook my hand, and wandered off into the rain. Poor guy. I walked back to the rented rover, checking my watch : three minutes flat. Longer than normal, but hey, I'm just getting BACK to normal, remember? "The pilot won't be bothering us," I boasted. "We can use the shuttle and get up to the top of the tower, or better yet, go higher and set it off in the air. It'll take effect faster that way." "Good," Benton nodded. "Now, who's going to pilot the shuttle?" "Why, the pilot, silly. We certainly don't know how, so I'll just have him pilot... the..." I trailed off, realizing what I was saying. "Errr." I looked in the rain, searching for the recently confessed transvestite pilot. He was gone, sucked into the steady waterflow of C'atel. "This isn't a problem," I said. "Okay. Umm. Jody? Have you ever flown one of these?" "No," she said. "Good! You can fly us up there then." "I said no," she repeated. "I know you said no," flashing her my most manic smile, which was quite appropriate; I was nervous beyond all belief, unable to handle the concept of failing in this gag. "You can fly by the seat of your pants if you have to. We HAVE to get up there." * The shuttle shook, colliding with another building. Glass shattered. "Sorry!" Jody said, frantically scanning the controls for the XY axis modifier. "Just 'flying by the seat of my pants', as it were." "Are we high enough?" Benton asked. "We're above any of the buildings... I'd say so... hey, Jody, hover right here." Jody nodded, and stabbed random buttons until the craft stopped ascending. It wavered and wobbled, but stuck. "Alright. Here we go," I said, pulling the weather controller out of the box. It was a pretty clumsy machine, little bits of machinery dangling off it, complete with exposed wiring. But the controls were simple... Rain, Sun. Two buttons. "Everything I've done is about to get topped," I grinned. "When word gets back to Terra who stopped the eternal rains of C'atel, we can proudly say--" "Just hit the button already," Jody helpfully yelled. "I don't like the stability of this thing!" I dropped the speech, and pressed the SUN button. Pause. "Nothing's happening," Benton commented. "Wait for it," I suggested... ...the clouds above us parted... ...and moved away... ...and the skies lit up with the brilliant C'atel sun, no longer blocked by storm clouds. The center of light spread out, shoving the clouds away in a perfect sphere surrounding the weather modifier. "I'll be damned," Benton said, gaping in surprise. "I didn't think we'd be able to do it. But we did." "It's actually not raining..." Jody exclaimed. "But... it ALWAYS rains on C'atel. It's famous for that." "Not anymore," I grinned. "Now C'atel will wake up to healthy, fresh sunlight and crisp, dry air. They'll wonder who did it, and we can just sit back and laugh, laugh. Yes siree... Mitch is back in the game. Back to normal!" I laughed, laughed away. My plan was a smashing success. The rain way, the big gag pulled, any qualms my friends had with me washed away with the sunlight. I hadn't lost the touch, I could still see through people, and pull gags beyond-- Piff! BEeeeeeeoooooop. The retreating clouds swooped back in, closing up the circle of light six times faster than they had left. The first raindrops fell; eventually the pour was back on, a steady depressing batter against the shuttle's windshield. I ignored the FLAT BATTERY; CPU WIPED warning light on the weather machine and kept smiling. "Umm, Mitch?" "Yes, Benton?" I said, still smiling. "It broke." "I know that," I nodded, grinning away. "Looks like I screwed up. Pity. And it all seemed to be going so well. Excuse me a moment." I grabbed the handle of the shuttle hatch and opened it, wind whipping through the cabin, the powerful winds that come with a few hundred feet of altitude. I figured a quick walk outside would clear up my mind. Jody leaped from her seat, grabbing onto my shirt and pulling me back inside. She slammed the hatch shut, and cast me a confused glance. "Didn't you KNOW we we're rather high up?" "Yeah, I knew. But hey, I failed. My last chance to show you guys I'm not a total and complete asshole. Last chance to convince myself I wasn't losing it. So, hey, no more point, right?" "THAT'S what this trip was for?" Benton asked. "Since when were you losing it? And what makes you think we hate you?" "Well, there was that whole Lindsey deal... the various dates... the time I embarrassed myself and you two by mis- guessing your not-dateness... Look, let's face it, these are not typical Mitch things. I've lost it, man, all my powers of observation. I figured I just had to do one massive gag successfully and I'd know I hadn't lost it..." "Come on, everybody has an off season," Benton said. "Everybody gets 'em. Remember last fall, when I almost got a C because I couldn't get enough artistic inspiration together? I'd call that a screw up. And the time Jody here was trying to memorize the burb layout and crashed into my garage--" "Hey!" "Well, you DID. So you've made a few errors lately. We don't HATE you, man, that's not what pals do." "See? I misjudged again!" I burst. "What's WRONG with me lately?" "Calm down. We don't care that you've got flaws, hell, everybody's got a few. You of all people ought to know that. It's natural, no need to worry. Okay? Let's call it a day and just get outta here." "Well... alright," I said. "Just things have been pretty cloudy lately... I'm not USED to that. Probably, I'm just going through a change of character or something like that. Phases, temporary obsessions, environment changes, any of that stuff can trigger one." "Really?" "Certainly. Common psychological situation. Most personality problems arise from--" "We get the picture," Benton said. "And from the sound of it, Mitch, your brain's still in perfect working order. We'll write this gag off as a soul-searcher and forget about it. Now let's get this shuttle back to the surface and catch our flight home." For the first time in awhile, I didn't really care about my blind spots. So I can't manipulate my friends to my will; I didn't want to. So I didn't know myself very well; anybody who does understand themselves perfectly usually goes insane. So I didn't read women well; that was half the fun of the chase. Yeah, this was certainly a change of some type. I recognized the signs from the training. Was I really any different? Not really. Was I any worse? Nope. Was I any wiser? You bet. The shuttle descended slowly. We only hit three buildings.