New readers — welcome! This blog is where I set up feedback threads for the latest draft story in progress. Right now I’m up to story #8. You should probably start at story #1, though.
Current readers — In light of some apparently huge sportball match challenge going on tomorrow, I’m going to go ahead and post the start of 008 right now. That way you can read it tonight, and tomorrow cheer on your chosen colors towards triumphant victory. May they carry the stick across the line of point-fault more times than the enemy, or whatever.
This is a bit of a supersized update. Truthfully it’s got me concerned about how much I can crank out for next Sunday, but I just got all the puzzle pieces locked in place… the entire outline’s written. Hopefully the rest is just implementation, but we’ll see.
Once 008 is finished, City of Angles will likely hiatus a bit so I can focus on the Kickstarter for its book, and give me time to plot out the second volume. I have a few story ideas, but not enough for a full swath. Granted I didn’t start this volume with a full swath of complete ideas, and half the ideas I had got jettisoned, but hey! SOME preplanning would be advisable, non?
About to sleep but really want to leave some comments…
I admit I don’t get why Gregory’d split the party. He’s no faster crowbar-fetching with or without Penny, eh?
How did she see Kelsey listening? Surely Greg would notice a cracked door. Maybe Penny “saw” it some other way?
They took time and pried the door without wondering where Penny wandered off to? Also if time is short, why park on the couch waiting for them to pry the door? (it’s neat for her to already be there, but, hmm.)
Nice “husk” speech, heheh. Yay smart Dave! … Who will probably die at this rate. Eek!
Ha ha ha Dave complimenting her efforts. XD The nice guy no-sell. I like the Seth/Bedlam disagreement over Kelsey a lot. Good idea to have Seth lampshade the “what do we do when we get to map end?” point.
Nice overview of El Revoluciones. chaotician is a great word.
Penny knows they took house keys? Seems a little unlikely to seem significant, to me — they might have just been in his pocket, who knows?
Gregory’s analysis and dilemma. Good read overall. Thanks.
Typos: ominious, compacency, euclidian (again), this about more
She saw Kelsey’s door open a little behind Gregory’s back. I can emphasize that in edits. Can’t do much about Gregory splitting the party but I can have them just let him in once he returns, rather than make it a gag reveal.
Poor Cartwright!
I’ve known a few people in my life who I think of as chaos generators. They usually break the people around them more than they break themselves. :)
I feel bad for him too, on some level, despite his clear role in the choices and judgements and path of his life. As always, Stefan does a good job having the “bad” guys be tragic figures in their own doom.
Reading and about to sleep. Good job as always, except I had to stay awake enough for one comment — Gregory is smart enough to say “no names” but then they use Scarlett AND Cass’s names. XD
Oops. I’ll fix.
The young explorder pulled her poetic companion from the room, up the basement stairs and into the Lucid Dreamer above before Cass could say a word.
should be
The young explorer pulled her poetic companion from the room, up the basement stairs and into the Lucid Dreamer above before Cass could say a word.
explorder
explorer
Got it. I’ll have those fixed next time around. Thanks!
If you’d prefer to consolidate typo reports, feel free to email me a dump of them in one go: stefangagne@gmail.com
On the other side of the blinding spotlight… two figures instinct from Cartwright’s view, but very distinct to Gregory. One of them being distinctly uncomfortable with all of this.
Should be
On the other side of the blinding spotlight… two figures indistinct from Cartwright’s view, but very distinct to Gregory. One of them being distinctly uncomfortable with all of this.
instinct
indistinct
single minute of eveyr single day
Should be
single minute of every single day
eveyr
every