New readers — welcome! This blog is where I set up feedback threads for the latest draft story in progress. Every week, I post new scenes! Right now I’m up to story #9. You should probably start at story #1, though.
Current readers — Welcome to volume 002! It’s been a little over two years since the incident at the Heart of the City. What’s changed in the meanwhile? Take a look and find out.
These initial scenes do a heavy amount of re-explaining basic City of Angles concepts, but that’s intentional. If someone picked up the paper version of volume 001, read it, then waited months before picking up volume 002… they’d be quite lost. Same goes for readers who are waiting for the final books and don’t read the website. So, like any good first chapter of an anthology book, I describe what’s going on in addition to what’s different.
If the first scene feels out of place (it’s tracking a new character) that’s because this will, when finished, be bopping back and forth between Jonny and Penelope. In fact, the next scene is from Jonny’s POV. Don’t worry. They’ll run into each other eventually.
Writing the next volume while juggling the Kickstarter work is going to be tricky, but I think I can do it. Come back each week for new story content; if I have to skip any weeks I’ll let you know, but I’m hoping to keep this just as consistent as last year’s content.
And as always… feedback is welcome. You can post anonymously without making an account! I’d love to hear what you think about the story so far.
So, thoughts. Also, spoilers for not only this chapter but the end of volume //001, so if you’re someone reading the comments of this who hasn’t read the other stories yet, please turn back now. ;)
I wasn’t expecting a timeskip. I’m not sure why I wasn’t, as it certainly makes sense to check back on the City after some time has passed post-Bedlam. Then again, I have found that I never really expect timeskips in most media that employ them (games, manga, etc.)
Good to see Officer Gilt again, and, of course, Dave.
Presumably Ellie has seen Echo, and has been seeing her for a while.
Interesting that Bedlam has aged along with Penny. Either she’s decided to do it to continue playing the part of the twisted sister, or she’s tied to Lucid in such a way that if Penny changes, she has to as well. I’m curious as to whether or not Echo and the Dreamer have changed.
But oh, Penny. Methinks you may be in a bit over your head here, rearranging the city. All the powers of a minor goddess and all the stubbornness of a teenage girl, and Gregory’s right that someone’s going to catch on, sooner or later. Knocking people out of their comfortable lives isn’t on the same order of magnitude as driving everyone completely insane, but I can see someone framing this as the next coming of Bedlam.
Also, I feel bad for Gregory, as there’s only so much bodyguarding he can do right now. There’s a reason we don’t see action heroes after their retirement. Hitting the gym just isn’t the same. I suspect he’ll be finding something to do soon, though. Or it’ll find him.
All in all, a good start, and I look forward to next week’s installment!
Thanks for the feedback! Looks like I’m on the money for the tone I’m going for and the reactions I’m aiming for, here.
I was debating the timeskip, honestly. The first volume takes place in the year in which I wrote it, 2012, but I felt like we needed to see Penny grow into a more mature (if completely inexperienced) teenage status sooner rather than later. Timeskips served me well in anachronauts and I figured they’d be worth a shot here.
Although this time, I have to stay slightly ahead of reality, which is tougher. I don’t like scifi authors that skip ahead a few years and suddenly we have neural VR technology or worldwide replacement of human bodies with robotic surrogates *cough* because they stretch credibility QUITE a bit. My 2015 is… basically just 2012. I figure the more things change, et cetera. Plus, the City is perpetually a bit behind the curve on Earth doings and goings on, so hey.
Probably most of the advances would be technological, which would depend on the city’s tech infrastructure.
Also, reality doesn’t have infinite repeating cell phones. ;)
One thing reality *does* have is a larger consumer base that high-tech manufacturers can use to defray the cost of new tech. The entire population of the City of Angles is probably in the hundreds of thousands or millions, enough that it’s not surprising to run into people you don’t know, but not large enough to allow the high-speed tech development we’ve been seeing in the real world. Given that, it’s not surprising that most high technology in the City of Angles is based on imports, and even less surprising that it can and does lag behind the real world.
A fine and accurate analysis, there. That’s also handy for authors who want to timeskip a bit!