sailor nothing, pt5

Hello.

Let me tell you about...

The Yamiko.

Let me tell you something about the Yamiko. The name comes from two parts; Yami (Darkness) and Ko (Children). And they're about as intelligent as children. Simpering little animalistic brats with neglectful parents, running wild, doing whatever the hell they want to anybody they want, NEVER controlling their impulses, never giving it a second thought and never thinking of the consequences... well, no. Not all of them are like that or I wouldn't be able to recognize it in them. I'm one of them, after all. But in general... you can't ask for a more pathetically dependent culture of half-wits and morons. These people are sheep. You need to beat ideas into their heads and whip logic across their backs. Sometimes they're just so unworkable that you have to kill them... and you can't even get the other Yamiko to do it for you because they don't care about victimizing other Yamiko. All they want are humans to play with. And that's the other thing! A Yamiko with no humans to torment is a pretty piss poor individual indeed. All they know is how to hurt and destroy and kill. Admirable when you need someone hurt, destroyed or killed, but what about the times when you just want them to sit down and shut up? Oh, FORGET that. "I wanna go to Earth." "I want to kill my old girlfriend." "I want to eat my family's flesh and drink their marrow." "I want to blow up my school." "I want to anally penetrate my kindergarten teacher." They're pathetic little dependent twits -- I said they were dependent, right? They are! They're dependent on having victims. I have no fucking respect for them. They're idiots! Morons! They can't do anything right except trash lives and fuck things up on Earth. Why do they feel that connection to Earth, to Tokyo? It's like they're so pathetically tied to their old lives that they want to re-live them in new ways, they NEVER want to come back to the Yamiko-gaia like good little sheep, and they end up being utterly unmanageable until you just wanna crack one across the jaw with a lead pipe so you can get your goddamn frustrations out! And... and--

Futility.

Let me tell you something about futility. Futility is trying to get anything done in this fucking hellhole. The Yami-gaia, proud and strong and dark and horrible? Yeah, right. We don't meet even the lowest definition of a Faustian hell. There's the palace, oh yes, they CERTAINLY keep their classy and stylish palace of torment running at peak perfection. That's so like them. But no, the rest of the Yami-gaia suffers. It's a mirror image of Tokyo, supposedly... if the mirror was dark, cracked and twisted to distort that image in ways that would drive men sane. Oh, wait, that's the mission statement. No, the reality of it is that nothing ever fucking works here. I've been set at this futile task for years now. "Restore the Yami-gaia. Restore it to its former power and unholy dignity." Assuming that former power and dignity ever fucking existed, because how can you fix what's broken? You can't fix the damn mirror because the mirror IS the Yamiko nature, so how does she expect me to fix-- No, I'm gonna do it. It's useless, it's futile, but she set me to this task. She's the only person who ever gave a shit about me; she made me a Dark General and she told me my marching orders and dammit, I am going to see them through. I've spawned Yamiko carefully, breeding for self control, technical skill... we have electricity restored. We have some cleanup done. A small patch of the city is back in working order. But even my own Yamiko have their problems, the whiners who refuse to do the work and want to eat people (stupid) or go kidnap kids (give me a break) or any number of other stock T-shirt slogan horrors they can think of in their limited, dare I say HUMAN range of evil--

Humans.

Let me tell you something about the humans. They're little better than the Yamiko. I was once one of them; an architect. I designed houses for the families and buildings for various companies. I acquired a lot of student loan debt. I took on a few bad jobs from clients who never intended to pay me. Then a company decided to cancel my contract, not pay me a single yen and give the work I'd done to another design firm so they could get a headstart. I tried to sue because I was a brightheaded kid who thought I could win against the man and their lawyers sank me so far into debt I had to sell my own blood and give handjobs for cash in order to eat fast food and survive. One day a Dark General came along, Neon or Xenon it doesn't matter which and spawned me into a Yamiko. I killed my fucking useless self because I was heading for the gutter anyway and went back to the Yami-gaia with them, and I haven't looked back since. Humans are a pathetic, miserable, lying, stealing, backstabbing, dishonest, selfish, egotistical pigheaded lot on a status little better than the animalistic bastards that crawl across the Yami-gaia, bastards just like Xenon and Neon--

Dark Generals.

Let me tell you something about the Dark Generals. Let's take Xenon and Neon because they're so similar it doesn't really matter which one is which. One is a sadist and gets his jollies off extreme physical torture and pain of humans. The other is a pervert and enjoys traumatizing them psychologically and emotionally. Who cares about them? They haven't done a damn thing worth talking about. Sure, they've caused problem on earth but that doesn't matter. Now, Argon, he's a different story, he was around since the very beginning -- five Dark Generals, that's what I was told, the Queen originally made five of them. At least three of them died, one took his own life and one was never heard from again after an outing to earth, probably killed by the first Sailor and that Magnificent Asshole. But that's not important. Argon. Argon is old as hell and likes to shove his fine standing with the Queen either down your throat or up your ass, take your pick. He enjoys making fun of me and playing with my futile mission's goals just because he thinks I'm a kid, a wuss, someone undeserving of the mantle but I'll prove his ass wrong when I stand before the Queen and say YES MA'AM, I have completed my mission and if you look outside the palace windows you'll see Yami-gaia glittering like a jewel filled with happy Yamiko except that they're all self destructive subcreatures who wouldn't know civic order and urban development if they fucked it in the ass with no reacharound. But they're all I have to work with, and I barely have any of them, thanks to--

The Sailors.

Let me tell you something about the Sailors. That fuckwad Magnificent Bastard keeps spawning these brats as fast as we can cut them down. Pathetic little wretches, half insane, fragile... but they keep killing us over and over again because we're so susceptible to their ridiculously named theme attacks. Every time I think I have some good raw material, something I can work with, it gets yanked out from under me by one of those goddamned justice freak bitches and their stupid school uniform costumes and magic heart moon dildos or whatever, ruining everything I've tried so hard to build and dammit if that doesn't make me mad. They're no better than the Yamiko, brainless killing machines hell bent on stopping my efforts -- and I don't see why since I pull my Yamiko off earth ASAP and they don't hurt humans, why the hell are the Sailors messing with me? If they'd leave me the hell alone I'd just hate them from afar but since they won't, I'm going to have to destroy them, each and every one, just a clean snap to the neck since I don't give a crap about torturing them, I just want them out of my hair. I need to get my job done. This is my life, my role and my world. I need to...

Let me tell you...

Welcome to my world.

My name is Cobalt and fuck this world. I hope I made it absolutely, totally goddamn clear to you above that I hate these things, this world, my job and everything that comes with it. I already committed suicide once, so that's not a viable escape from this hell of boredom and futility.

Do I sound negative to you? Very well; I am negative. Deal with it.

The only pleasure I get out of all this is that I have something to do. I have a goal, a mission that I'm going to succeed in even if it's impossible. I've made a lot of progress towards my goal, despite my 'peers' kicking me down the ladder and the fucking Sailors ruining every snatch and grab I've made to get more manpower.

If there's anything even vaguely resembling redemption for me on the horizon, it's going to come in the form of fulfilling my Queen's dream.

So, that's my rant. I hope you didn't enjoy it.

Now go away. I have work to do.