This May, Spatula City's staff and crew decided to explore
the wild frontier. They roughed it for nearly ten days in
the untamed world of... ORLAND, FLORIDA! (organ sting) Yes,
carrying nothing but the 500,000 metric tons of luggage they
dragged along and a few dozen bags of Cool Ranch Doritos,
our noble and rugged campers had to suffer through bad
housekeeping and five room suites and many buildings coated
in pink paint. Below is a photo journal of our travels,
narrated by Spatula City manager Stefan Gagne. To see a
double-size, 24 bit JPEG of the grayscale image (at about
the same filesize, no less!) click on the picture.
This is the space launch vehicle we were considering taking,
instead of a trip to Florida. It was scheduled to take off
to Mars, carrying a load of canal-kyakers. Here you see
the runway the spaceship was taxied down, as well as some
cars of the various passengers parked along the twin
tread-roads. It's just as well that we didn't go to space;
the ship crashed into the ocean shortly after takeoff.
One of the places we visited in Orlando was Universal
Studio Theme Park. Here we see a gathering of extras,
waiting for them to finish setting up the sound stage for
'Jaws vs. The Birds,' where a horde of seagulls take on
a great white shark. I personally doubt the film will get
anywhere in the box office.
We took a sea cruise for a day on this fine sailing vessel.
Jenny wanted to go on the Minnow and mom on the Titanic,
but I figured the HMS Bounty would be more enjoyable. And
it was; the staff even partook in an authentically recreated
mutiny. At least, I think it was a recreation. I don't
remember seeing the captain when we returned to the dock.
We stopped in for a moment or two to visit Duck's grumpy
old uncle Jim Joe Jimmy Jim Bob. He hit us with a stick
until we'd leave. Duck is considering putting him in a
home.
Jenny and Alex returning from a wild gun-shooting speedboat
race around the harbor while the Coast Guard chased down
Columbian Drug Lord Juan Juandon. They were selling tickets,
thankfully, so we got to have some real thrills that day.
Here we are in front of Epcot(tm Disney Corporation All
Rights Reserved) Center (tm Disney Corporation All Rights
Reserved), posing in front of Spaceship (tm AT&T Corporation
All Rights Reserved Used With Permission) Earth (tm AT&T
Corporation All Rights Reserved). I'm not allowed to
write more about the various industry-sponsered-slightly-
propagandic wonders inside without violating seventeen
copyright laws, unfortunately.
We visited starbase Deep Space Nine later.
At Epcot (tm as mentioned earlier), we saw this oddity sitting
outside of a nearby restaurant in an open air pavillion. It's
called 'The Bathroom of the Future' and is entirely self
cleaning. It's amazing that such wonders can be produced
in this great country of ours, home of the disposable diaper
and Aerosmith video.
'The Bathroom of the Future' in action, cleaning. I am
in awe just remembering this.
Jenny got to put on a dive suit and plunge into the harbor
to rescue the remains of our first rental car, which we
had accidentally driven into the ocean. I lost my Beastie
Boys CD and fifth bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. This picture
always brings back painful memories.
This is the replacement rental car we got after submerging
the first one. It handled okay, even if it had an uncanny
ability to bend space and time whenever we were speeding up
to pass a semi on International Blvd. Eventually we ran
out of plutonium and had to exchange it.
I want my money back. These have got to be the WORST
Elvis impersonators I've ever seen. 'The King' indeed!
This is our second rental car. I liked the giant loudspeaker
myself. I'd grab the microphone when we ran through town,
and yell, "HEY! LOOK AT THIS LOUDSPEAKER! IT'S *HUGE*!!!" and
people would nod and look at it was we drove by. Because, you
have to admit, it was a BIG loudspeaker.
This was our third rental car, after they took the second
away for overusing the loudspeaker. It didn't handle very
well at all, since it only moved at one MPH. Bleah. I
will admit, though, it carried all our luggage quite easily.
Orlando before we showed up.
Orland after we left.
Jenny before the trip... and Jenny after.
Any questions?
"Yeah, I got a question..."
Namely?
"I don't buy any of this crap. What did you REALLY do on vacation?"
"Good question..."
Click here to find out.
Back to The Silly Zone
This is the space launch vehicle we were considering taking,
instead of a trip to Florida. It was scheduled to take off
to Mars, carrying a load of canal-kyakers. Here you see
the runway the spaceship was taxied down, as well as some
cars of the various passengers parked along the twin
tread-roads. It's just as well that we didn't go to space;
the ship crashed into the ocean shortly after takeoff.
One of the places we visited in Orlando was Universal
Studio Theme Park. Here we see a gathering of extras,
waiting for them to finish setting up the sound stage for
'Jaws vs. The Birds,' where a horde of seagulls take on
a great white shark. I personally doubt the film will get
anywhere in the box office.
We took a sea cruise for a day on this fine sailing vessel.
Jenny wanted to go on the Minnow and mom on the Titanic,
but I figured the HMS Bounty would be more enjoyable. And
it was; the staff even partook in an authentically recreated
mutiny. At least, I think it was a recreation. I don't
remember seeing the captain when we returned to the dock.
We stopped in for a moment or two to visit Duck's grumpy
old uncle Jim Joe Jimmy Jim Bob. He hit us with a stick
until we'd leave. Duck is considering putting him in a
home.
Jenny and Alex returning from a wild gun-shooting speedboat
race around the harbor while the Coast Guard chased down
Columbian Drug Lord Juan Juandon. They were selling tickets,
thankfully, so we got to have some real thrills that day.
Here we are in front of Epcot(tm Disney Corporation All
Rights Reserved) Center (tm Disney Corporation All Rights
Reserved), posing in front of Spaceship (tm AT&T Corporation
All Rights Reserved Used With Permission) Earth (tm AT&T
Corporation All Rights Reserved). I'm not allowed to
write more about the various industry-sponsered-slightly-
propagandic wonders inside without violating seventeen
copyright laws, unfortunately.
We visited starbase Deep Space Nine later.
At Epcot (tm as mentioned earlier), we saw this oddity sitting
outside of a nearby restaurant in an open air pavillion. It's
called 'The Bathroom of the Future' and is entirely self
cleaning. It's amazing that such wonders can be produced
in this great country of ours, home of the disposable diaper
and Aerosmith video.
'The Bathroom of the Future' in action, cleaning. I am
in awe just remembering this.
Jenny got to put on a dive suit and plunge into the harbor
to rescue the remains of our first rental car, which we
had accidentally driven into the ocean. I lost my Beastie
Boys CD and fifth bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. This picture
always brings back painful memories.
This is the replacement rental car we got after submerging
the first one. It handled okay, even if it had an uncanny
ability to bend space and time whenever we were speeding up
to pass a semi on International Blvd. Eventually we ran
out of plutonium and had to exchange it.
I want my money back. These have got to be the WORST
Elvis impersonators I've ever seen. 'The King' indeed!
This is our second rental car. I liked the giant loudspeaker
myself. I'd grab the microphone when we ran through town,
and yell, "HEY! LOOK AT THIS LOUDSPEAKER! IT'S *HUGE*!!!" and
people would nod and look at it was we drove by. Because, you
have to admit, it was a BIG loudspeaker.
This was our third rental car, after they took the second
away for overusing the loudspeaker. It didn't handle very
well at all, since it only moved at one MPH. Bleah. I
will admit, though, it carried all our luggage quite easily.
Orlando before we showed up.
Orland after we left.