This May, Spatula City's staff and crew decided to explore the wild frontier. They roughed it for nearly ten days in the untamed world of... ORLAND, FLORIDA! (organ sting) Yes, carrying nothing but the 500,000 metric tons of luggage they dragged along and a few dozen bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, our noble and rugged campers had to suffer through bad housekeeping and five room suites and many buildings coated in pink paint. Below is a photo journal of our travels, narrated by Spatula City manager Stefan Gagne. To see a double-size, 24 bit JPEG of the grayscale image (at about the same filesize, no less!) click on the picture.

This is the space launch vehicle we were considering taking, instead of a trip to Florida. It was scheduled to take off to Mars, carrying a load of canal-kyakers. Here you see the runway the spaceship was taxied down, as well as some cars of the various passengers parked along the twin tread-roads. It's just as well that we didn't go to space; the ship crashed into the ocean shortly after takeoff.
One of the places we visited in Orlando was Universal Studio Theme Park. Here we see a gathering of extras, waiting for them to finish setting up the sound stage for 'Jaws vs. The Birds,' where a horde of seagulls take on a great white shark. I personally doubt the film will get anywhere in the box office.
We took a sea cruise for a day on this fine sailing vessel. Jenny wanted to go on the Minnow and mom on the Titanic, but I figured the HMS Bounty would be more enjoyable. And it was; the staff even partook in an authentically recreated mutiny. At least, I think it was a recreation. I don't remember seeing the captain when we returned to the dock.
We stopped in for a moment or two to visit Duck's grumpy old uncle Jim Joe Jimmy Jim Bob. He hit us with a stick until we'd leave. Duck is considering putting him in a home.
Jenny and Alex returning from a wild gun-shooting speedboat race around the harbor while the Coast Guard chased down Columbian Drug Lord Juan Juandon. They were selling tickets, thankfully, so we got to have some real thrills that day.
Here we are in front of Epcot(tm Disney Corporation All Rights Reserved) Center (tm Disney Corporation All Rights Reserved), posing in front of Spaceship (tm AT&T Corporation All Rights Reserved Used With Permission) Earth (tm AT&T Corporation All Rights Reserved). I'm not allowed to write more about the various industry-sponsered-slightly- propagandic wonders inside without violating seventeen copyright laws, unfortunately.
We visited starbase Deep Space Nine later.
At Epcot (tm as mentioned earlier), we saw this oddity sitting outside of a nearby restaurant in an open air pavillion. It's called 'The Bathroom of the Future' and is entirely self cleaning. It's amazing that such wonders can be produced in this great country of ours, home of the disposable diaper and Aerosmith video.
'The Bathroom of the Future' in action, cleaning. I am in awe just remembering this.
Jenny got to put on a dive suit and plunge into the harbor to rescue the remains of our first rental car, which we had accidentally driven into the ocean. I lost my Beastie Boys CD and fifth bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. This picture always brings back painful memories.
This is the replacement rental car we got after submerging the first one. It handled okay, even if it had an uncanny ability to bend space and time whenever we were speeding up to pass a semi on International Blvd. Eventually we ran out of plutonium and had to exchange it.
I want my money back. These have got to be the WORST Elvis impersonators I've ever seen. 'The King' indeed!
This is our second rental car. I liked the giant loudspeaker myself. I'd grab the microphone when we ran through town, and yell, "HEY! LOOK AT THIS LOUDSPEAKER! IT'S *HUGE*!!!" and people would nod and look at it was we drove by. Because, you have to admit, it was a BIG loudspeaker.
This was our third rental car, after they took the second away for overusing the loudspeaker. It didn't handle very well at all, since it only moved at one MPH. Bleah. I will admit, though, it carried all our luggage quite easily.
Orlando before we showed up.
Orland after we left.

Jenny before the trip... and Jenny after.
Any questions?

"Yeah, I got a question..."
"I don't buy any of this crap. What did you REALLY do on vacation?"
"Good question..."

Click here to find out.

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